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1 <h1 dir="ltr" id="docs-internal-guid-2dc40b5b-e37d-1770-a4b9-7e1d2c6f0e45">Update #6 : April 8th</h1>
3 <p><a href="http://archive.heinessen.com/r9k/thread/S11257646" >http://archive.heinessen.com/r9k/thread/S11257646</a></p>
5 <br />
6 <br />
7 <p>>I leave the bathroom with glasses in close-proximal tow<br />
8 >I know its a bad idea to just tromp back into the living room directly with her following me.<br />
9 >Raven and Blondie are already emotional landmines ready to go off, and Birthday can just up-and-start hating people right away anytime she wants.<br />
10 >Fuck if i even knew what homely was thinking.<br />
11 >So we make a small detour around the house and out into the living room from the kitchen side<br />
12 >i'm Pretending she was some wandering companion who lost her villiage to a dragon attack and joined me on my quest<br />
13 >We slip back into the living room all nonchalant like<br />
14 >The video game is back on and nobody noticed us even walk in.</p>
16 <p>>Homely took my controller and my spot on the couch<br />
17 >I curse under my breath various times<br />
18 >Glasses pops back onto her spot on the couch and i'm left with nowhere to sit<br />
19 >Of course i've been around women all my life<br />
20 >So i do the usual thing and inform homely that it's alright, i didn't really need to play anymore since her and glasses haven't got a turn yet.</p>
22 <br />
23 <p>>It works like a charm<br />
24 >Birthday, Blondie and Homely get guilted into feeling bad about taking my controller while i was in the bathroom.<br />
25 >Blondie tries to offer me hers and make excuses about her fingers being tired<br />
26 >I'm not having any of it, i milk it for all its worth and make a big show about it being alright and they should all continue playing together.<br />
27 >Raven gives a snort, she's not falling for it, but she's still intently eyes-forward on the video game.<br />
28 >Everyone else is appropriately guilt tripped though<br />
29 >Totally gonna use these guilt points later to buy things at the vendor<br />
30 >Buy some god damn emotional armor or something.</p>
32 <br />
33 <p>>Birthday girl does the right thing and offers glasses her controller<br />
34 >Glasses denies gracefully with many "Oh you don't have tos" and various other trivial words<br />
35 >She still gets the controller though<br />
36 >I'm telling you, women throughout their entire lives have friends that treat them badly, throw them through emotional loop-de-loops and use every trick in the book to guilt, hurt or manipulate them.<br />
37 >All while seeming completely nice about it<br />
38 >[/spoiler]This is why they hate nice guys, they associate it with being flat out manipulated, no joke.[/spoiler]<br />
39 >[spoiler] If you're an actual jerk to them, they atleast know you're honest and not manipulating them[/spoiler]<br />
40 >[spoiler] The best way to treat a woman is like you would treat one of your bros, don't pussyfoot around issues and just make em clear : YW All male anons[/spoiler]<br />
41 >Moral of the story is that glasses just used my guilt point acquisition to gather some for herself and end up playing the game.</p>
43 <p>>I would have felt guilty as fuck if i ended up playing again too.<br />
44 >I had plans for those points though, atleast i thought i did.</p>
46 <br />
47 <p>>I've still got nowhere to sit though<br />
48 >It comes to my mind that i could probably plop down on one of the girls and use them as a comfy chair<br />
49 >Obviously one of the girls on the couch, sitting on Raven on the floor would just not work out very well.<br />
50 >Blondie</p>
52 <p>>Too small, she would put up with it but her legs would probably hurt after 5-10 minutes<br />
53 >Homely<br />
54 >Hahahahaha<br />
55 >Birthday<br />
56 >Naw<br />
57 >Glasses<br />
58 >Revenge<br />
59 >*Evil Laughter*</p>
61 <br />
62 <p>>Except there's really no way i can get revenge<br />
63 >The blanket is gone, and she's playing vidya<br />
64 >I walk over in front of her and block her vidya view<br />
65 >I'm pumped up from my Alpha moment in the bathroom<br />
66 >I put my hands on my hips (appropriate demanding posture) and say<br />
67 >"Open up, you're my new chair missy"<br />
68 >Obviously because i can't just sit on the controller, she has to open her arms and let me in.<br />
69 >Curt response "No"<br />
70 >Euguhh<br />
71 >I'm grasping my hand over my heart in an extremely dramatic shakespearean fashion<br />
72 >[spoiler] in my mind of course[/spoiler]<br />
73 >I'm really just standing there in that awkward way you stand places when you've been turned down for a date or something.</p>
75 <p>>I've been shot down, foiled, defeated<br />
76 >Being alpha with Glasses is like an uphill unwinnable battle</p>
78 <br />
79 <p>>I do let out a dejected sigh and slump my shoulders<br />
80 >Gotta look the part<br />
81 >I then trudge over and plop myself down on the ground next to Raven<br />
82 >She's sitting with her back to the armrest of the couch, so i sit down further into the couch<br />
83 >Losers seat i guess<br />
84 >Blondies legs are here though<br />
85 >I don't even bother with them, i just lean back to the left of them and relax my head against the cushion.<br />
86 >I get to watch the story progress without any involvement on my part<br />
87 >I guess it's alright<br />
88 >It's probably been an hour or two of this game though, people are getting worn out.<br />
89 >JRPGs are just like that at parties, fun ,but gotta play em in segments</p>
91 <br />
92 <p>>Blondie's toes are adorable over to my right side though.<br />
93 >She gives her feet little kicks every once in a while when she does a good heal or something.<br />
94 >Even a couple times i watch as she wiggles each toe independently of one another<br />
95 >Cute little feets mayn<br />
96 >I'm not really a foot person, but cute feets are cute feets.<br />
97 >To my luck, she decides to reposition herself after a little while<br />
98 >I guess she was taking hints from glasses last night, because she drapes both her legs over my right side<br />
99 >Smooth legs<br />
100 >[spoiler] Alright well there was some light hair on them, but she was blonde so it wasn't noticeable[/spoiler]<br />
101 >[spoiler] Yes women have hair on their legs, wow you should know this already no matter how lonely you are[/spoiler]<br />
102 >[spoiler] no, shaving them constantly is a bitch of a thing to do, and most women only do it when they are in dress-up mode[/spoiler]<br />
103 >These are awesome legs though<br />
104 >Blonde haired girl legs are the best legs</p>
106 <br />
107 <p>>I can't really fondle her legs though<br />
108 >I've got no cover, no bushes to hide behind<br />
109 >Anything i do would alert the guards<br />
110 >Most i can do is play with whatever is closest to my lap where i atleast have cover from the girls behind me<br />
111 >This would be those cute feets i was talking about.<br />
112 >I can't really do anything to them though<br />
113 >Even though i raise my hands to touch them anyway.<br />
114 >Hands and feet are a bad mixture you see<br />
115 >The second you touch a cute girl's feet she's going to do one thing<br />
116 >Laugh</p>
118 <br />
119 <p>>Blondie lets out a high pitched laugh<br />
120 >I imagine this is the sound elves make if you ever catch them not being prim assholes to one another.</p>
122 <p>>Raven is onto me and eying me with suspicion<br />
123 >I don't even look behind me, fuck the police<br />
124 >I continue tickling her feet<br />
125 >they're adorable, she's shifting them and flexing all the muscles in them trying to get away.<br />
126 >I raise my hands and get the back of her ankles too<br />
127 >She's giggling up a storm<br />
128 >She starts kicking<br />
129 >Oh no this was a bad ide....<br />
130 >Right in the balls</p>
132 <br />
133 <p>><Screams Internally><br />
134 >Various other noises you can imagine<br />
135 >I keep forgetting blondie is an assassin sent to kill me<br />
136 >Why do i keep forgetting this<br />
137 >No words or actual sounds were made by my mouth<br />
138 >I just let go of her feet, wrap my arms around my stomach and fall over to the side<br />
139 >Raven is laughing<br />
140 >She knows<br />
141 >Blondie is instantly silent<br />
142 >She knows<br />
143 >Birthday, Homely and Glasses think i'm just laughing on the ground or something and ignore it.<br />
144 >I'm not laughing<br />
145 >[spoiler] Once again one of the rare spoilers for only the female readers in here[/spoiler]</p>
147 <p>>[spoiler] Implying they exist[/spoiler]<br />
148 >[spoiler] Getting hit in the balls is one of those things that just really really hurts, but it's not actually pain and its difficult to describe [/spoiler]<br />
149 >[spoiler] See, those unlucky bastards are hooked up directly to the base of your spinal cord, this means there's one big pathway for that pain right to your head[/spoiler]<br />
150 >[spoiler] It doesn't just hurt, everything on the way up along that pathway hurts too, your crotch, your stomach and even your lower chest sometimes[/spoiler]<br />
151 >[spoiler]The closest comparison i've got is being hit in the kidney, but its just not something you've probably experienced[/spoiler]</p>
153 <br />
154 <p>>As is expected, i just keel over sideways and enjoy the floor for a little bit<br />
155 >She didn't hit me that hard, but it didn't matter, i'd had enough of feet for the time being.<br />
156 >I think Blondie is rubbing it in though, since she just sets her feet ontop of me like a footrest<br />
157 >Probably thinking it serves me right for tickling her<br />
158 >Back to staring at the walls of rooms again i guess<br />
159 >I have a great view of the small space under the TV cabinet<br />
160 >Cobwebs and dust bunnies<br />
161 >Another untapped source of spiderbros to help me in my time of need.<br />
162 >I'm not there for very long, im sure birthday/homely/glasses think im just relaxing sideways<br />
163 >Raven has a smirk on though<br />
164 >Eventually its decided that they've progressed far enough and the game is saved and swapped out<br />
165 >Two player fighting game time.</p>
167 <br />
168 <p>>Blondie mentions food being a thing<br />
169 >Its like noon-ish<br />
170 >Birthday mentions some serious sandwich fixins in the kitchen<br />
171 >Blondie offers to make some<br />
172 >Birthday figures she might as well act the courteous host and help for once.<br />
173 >Raven/Homely/Myself/Glasses Get to trade off in some 1v1s<br />
174 >This means we pile on the couch again<br />
175 >This doesn't work out as well as i want, as i end up in a corner with Homely deciding its her turn to sit on my lap<br />
176 >You would think i could protest though right?<br />
177 >Wrong</p>
179 <br />
180 <p>>If i let two girls sit on my lap and then not another, i'm playing favorites.<br />
181 >I might not give a shit<br />
182 >But homely's feelings would get hurt<br />
183 >AND THEN EVERYONE ELSE WOULD GIVE A SHIT<br />
184 >This giving a shit would get me in shit status with everyone<br />
185 >I can't play favorites ):<br />
186 >Well i can, i just can't be obvious about it<br />
187 >Either way she ends up on my lap and she's facing off Vs Raven<br />
188 >Loser gets the controller<br />
189 >Zero boners though, and i'm still kinda sore so she's not feeling anything except my lap.<br />
190 >She's still wearing her pajama pants and loose t-shirt though, so i'm kinda worried<br />
191 </p>
193 <p>>I'm trying to concentrate on the game, but she's wiggling around and sitting upright so i can't really focus on it at all<br />
194 >Or even see the TV for that matter<br />
195 >I just resign to my fate and turn my head to watch raven<br />
196 >I've got an obvious "Help me" look on my face, but i make sure she's the only one who can see it.<br />
197 >She notices<br />
198 >She knows i don't really like homely (but she's really the only one who knows)<br />
199 >She puts on an evil smirk<br />
200 >Payback for what i said to blondie in the shower earlier smirk<br />
201 >Or something else i've done, who knows<br />
202 >Oh no, i see it coming a mile away<br />
203 >Raven loses on purpose<br />
204 >Hands the controller off to glasses<br />
205 >I have to "Enjoy" another round with Homely sitting where she's sitting.<br />
206 >I give raven the most silent pleading face i possibly can<br />
207 >I just get a brimming wide evil-smile in return</p>
209 <br />
210 <p>>Glasses is picking her character<br />
211 >Homely turns around to face me and raven<br />
212 >She's sitting sideways on me now, with her feet on raven's lap and crotch still firmly planted on mine<br />
213 >I can't make faces anymore<br />
214 > ):<br />
215 >I have to pretend nothing is wrong<br />
216 >Even though really its just a girl sitting on my lap and i'm being overdramatic<br />
217 >Or was i</p>
219 <p>>I have an even bigger problem<br />
220 >Homely is still wearing her pajamas from last night<br />
221 >This means she's wearing a loose t-shirt<br />
222 >And no bra</p>
224 <br />
225 <p>>She makes this VERY obvious with her large breasts<br />
226 >She was the most endowed female there D size maybe.<br />
227 >Large enough to jiggle her entire chest every time she moved<br />
228 >This doesn't help because her hands are in her lap and she's somehow playing the fighting game like a racing game.<br />
229 >Tilting the controller left and right and shit<br />
230 >Jiggling back and forth, each breast almost swaying individually<br />
231 >No! Must... look... away<br />
232 >I'm male so i can't<br />
233 >Shameful boner<br />
234 >I've failed you my hardening friend</p>
236 <br />
237 <p>>Well, homely notices<br />
238 >She puts on a successful "Oh look at what i did" Smile.<br />
239 >Its a mixture of a shit-eating grin and the look you get when you thoroughly trump someone in a fighting game<br />
240 >Oh wait those are both shit-eating grins.<br />
241 >Fuck you homely<br />
242 >I can't do anything but feign a smile and continue watching the game.<br />
243 >Also homely's tits<br />
244 >I don't even like big tits (most the reason i didn't like homely), but not looking at big tits right in your face is impossible<br />
245 >She catches me looking<br />
246 >Shit eating grin continues<br />
247 >This is the other half of the reason i don't like homely.</p>
249 <br />
250 <p>>She's still bouncing around and wagging her tits in my face though<br />
251 >Boner at full hardness<br />
252 >I'm ashamed on the inside<br />
253 >I thought i had more control than this<br />
254 >I thought i had a clear sense of justice<br />
255 >Seeing myself live long enough to become the villain<br />
256 >Whatever it is, my crime fighting days are over and homely has now confirmed she's attractive enough to get me hard.<br />
257 >[spoiler]Ill restate what i keep saying in the thread, She's not ugly, but she's not really attractive to me, nor does she have a personality i like.[/spoiler]<br />
258 >[spoiler] Tad overweight bar-skank with huge knockers, any of yall would fall for it.[/spoiler]<br />
259 >Luckily, this means she's distracted as fuck<br />
260 >Glasses kicks her ass up and down three ways from sunday</p>
262 <br />
263 <p>>Homely loses hard and passes her controller to me.<br />
264 >I've got no choice but to put my hands out over her lap and hold the controller</p>
266 <p>>I know i'm going to regret this<br />
267 >I instantly regret this<br />
268 >Homely takes both her hands and lightly places them on my wrists<br />
269 >Some kind of sick hand-holding without my permission<br />
270 >I didn't ask for this<br />
271 >Its me Vs Glasses<br />
272 >This is the match up of the century<br />
273 >At first i'm getting my ass kicked, but then i retaliate and leave her character damn close to death.<br />
274 >I've got this<br />
275 >Homely sits up straight<br />
276 >This puts full pressure right on my crotch<br />
277 >Shoves her boobs right in my face<br />
278 >I die</p>
280 <br />
281 <p>>Why don't these girls just leave me alone and let me play video games<br />
282 >I haven't been able to win once in anything we play<br />
283 >I can't handle this<br />
284 >I drop the controller back into Homely's lap<br />
285 >I say "I'm going to go check on lunch"<br />
286 >Homely puts on a sad face, but my excuse seems to have worked and she wiggles to the side so i can get up<br />
287 >She still puppy dog-eyes me and leans forward though<br />
288 >Loose shirt<br />
289 >Breasts<br />
290 >I don't look<br />
291 >I do look<br />
292 >I pretend to not look while looking<br />
293 >I don't look while pretending to not look</p>
295 <br />
296 <p>>Breasts<br />
297 >Big, floppy breasts<br />
298 >God damnit male mind<br />
299 >Fuck you<br />
300 >I'm up and trying to leave though<br />
301 >Just going to think about other people naked<br />
302 >Raven gets up too at the same time planning to follow me<br />
303 >She brushes me as she stands<br />
304 >Feels me being hard<br />
305 >Her eyes don't go wide, she doesn't freeze, she doesn't get a scowl on her face<br />
306 >Well except the scowl part<br />
307 >Her eyes are cold, like a wolf before it rips the throat out of the prey its been stalking<br />
308 >I give her three silent faces in a row<br />
309 >THIS IS YOUR FAULT RAVEN<br />
310 >YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED THIS<br />
311 >WHAT DO YOU THINK I WAS BEGGING YOU FOR<br />
312 >I think these all come out as the above faces plus a mixture of the shameful boner face</p>
314 <br />
315 <br />
316 <p>>I hope she understands.<br />
317 >She's still scowling though<br />
318 >She tells me to make sure Blondie wasn't putting mustard on her sandwich<br />
319 >She's not going to follow me anymore though<br />
320 >She just sits down on the armrest of the couch, folds her arms crossed and stares at the TV.<br />
321 >I slink away to the kitchen ashamed of myself<br />
322 >I Enter the kitchen<br />
323 >Blondie has a knife cutting the tomatoes<br />
324 >I Exit the kitchen</p>
326 <br />
327 <p>>They didn't have mustard out though so i don't bother saying anything<br />
328 >I just go and sit down in the dining room<br />
329 >Clasp my hands together on my lap and stared off at the wall again<br />
330 >In retrospect this was weird, but in my mind i was just going to quietly wait for food to happen.<br />
331 >Just going to stare at this wall until the shame goes away<br />
332 >Its not too long, luckily Blondie calls out in her singsong voice across the household that sammy-witches are ready.<br />
333 >I arrive in the kitchen first, pretending i just got up and came over<br />
334 >Some pastrami, swiss mayo/lettuce/tomato contraptions of flavor going on in here.<br />
335 >Birthday and Blondie start the serving process<br />
336 >Birthday gets out drinks and cups (has a 2liter of coke we never opened before)<br />
337 >Blondie plops a big sandwich down on my plate and gives me a confectioner's maid smile.<br />
338 >I don't know what that smile is called, but it involves your entire body<br />
339 >She does a half curtsey, tad bit of knee bend, smile from ear to ear and her eyes are shining.<br />
340 >You'll only see this smile when women have made food for you to eat and want you to enjoy yourself.<br />
341 >Its fucking adorable</p>
343 <br />
344 <p>>My heart melts a little<br />
345 >But its just a fucking sandwich<br />
346 >Well actually the bread is toasted and i guess the tomato slices are done pretty well<br />
347 >*sigh* i guess ill praise her for it when we sit down to eat<br />
348 >We all end up in the living room though<br />
349 >We all pick various places on the floor to sit and eat food<br />
350 >Smalltalk of course<br />
351 >We discuss what we should do next<br />
352 >Various bickering about boys and girls at our school<br />
353 >Raven doesn't seem to want to sit next to me and chat like we usually do<br />
354 >I swear to god woman<br />
355 >I end up with birthday and homely on either side of me<br />
356 >they really aren't talking to me, its more like talking across me<br />
357 >I just ignore them and eat my sandwich</p>
359 <br />
360 <p>>About halfway through my sandwich i appropriately give praise to blondie and comment on how the tomatoes are perfect and the sandwich is delicious<br />
361 >She doesn't know i saw her cutting them<br />
362 >One million bonus points<br />
363 >Her face lights up like fireworks.<br />
364 >The general sentiment around the room is that the sandiwches are delicious and blondie/birthday get plenty of praise<br />
365 >Blondie still has her face lit up and looking at me though<br />
366 >I grab the last half of the sandwich with my left hand and start to bring it up to my mouth while staring at her<br />
367 >I plan to make lip smacking sounds and get bonus points<br />
368 >Blondie loses the smile<br />
369 >My hand doesn't seem to be able to get to my mouth</p>
371 <br />
372 <p><br />
373 >Homely has wrapped her arm around my left arm and is holding it like we're lovers or something<br />
374 >She's not breaking eye contact with birthday though, and they're still discussing absolutely nothing of importance<br />
375 >A.... alright<br />
376 >Its no big deal i guess<br />
377 > i swap the sandwich to my right hand and go up for another bite<br />
378 >This hand won't move either<br />
379 >Birthday has her arm wrapped around that one, matching homely<br />
380 >I just want to eat my sandwich ):<br />
381 >I can't do anything so i just lower my hand and drop it back to the plate.<br />
382 >Stare at it sadly<br />
383 >Sandwich arc over before it even began<br />
384 >Both the girls don't even notice, they're still discussing clothes and other girly things like i'm not even there</p>
386 <br />
387 <p>>Blondie knows what's happening and is staring with a defeated sad look on her face at me.<br />
388 >Raven isn't glaring daggers for once<br />
389 >She's Glaring actual full longswords<br />
390 >Foot long hilts and everything<br />
391 >Why is this my fault<br />
392 >Even usual non-caring glasses is looking a little peeved<br />
393 >I guess her alliances lie elsewhere<br />
394 >I can see her brain whirring in motion to try to stop this though<br />
395 >Maybe she'll save me from this soul crushing emptiness inside<br />
396 >[spoiler]that only my sandwich can fill[/spoiler]<br />
397 >Both the girls still have one hand free though, so they're just eating as if nothing is happening.<br />
398 >I know both of them can see the other girls staring.<br />
399 >They pretend they don't see anything</p>
401 <br />
402 <p>>The one thing they aren't hiding well are the eyes<br />
403 >I look left and i look right and i can see both of them are projecting lasers at one another.<br />
404 >The facial movements are animated, diverse, and match the conversation<br />
405 >But the eyes are hard and deadly.<br />
406 >Homely grips my arm harder<br />
407 >Birthday grips my arm harder<br />
408 >Uh oh<br />
409 >This is like a catfight but the cats are separated by a volleyball net and are playing volleyball with a huge inflatable beach ball.<br />
410 >And all the beach ball is trying to do is not get popped by the cats claws<br />
411 >That's probably what playing girl's volleyball is like anyway.<br />
412 >I'm not escaping though<br />
413 >Birthday turns her entire body towards me, and presses into my shoulder<br />
414 >This has the effect of pressing my arm into the crease of her chest between breasts.<br />
415 >I guess she managed to get her bra hook back together without anyone noticing, because i feel two layers of fabric between us.</p>
417 <br />
418 <p>>Homely matches it, but the difference is that she doesn't have a bra on<br />
419 >Much softer<br />
420 >Much more squish<br />
421 >I'm really not at liberty to move now<br />
422 >I can't imagine i have anything on my face but a pleading look at the other three girls.<br />
423 >Birthday and homely are still keeping up the conversation though<br />
424 >Glasses brings her plan to fruition<br />
425 >"Alright that was delicious, lets clean up our plates"<br />
426 >Homely and Birthday change from random conversation, to just staring at glasses<br />
427 >"We're not done eating yet" they literally say in unison.<br />
428 >Not exactly, one of them used different structure, but it was terrifying nothenless<br />
429 >Then they just go back to the conversation they were having<br />
430 >They haven't touched their food in like three minutes.<br />
431 >My sandwich is just sitting there<br />
432 >Please...</p>
434 <br />
435 <p>>Glasses looks defeated<br />
436 >A rare look for her, trust me<br />
437 >Birthday and homely aren't even talking infront of me<br />
438 >They've put their chins on my shoulders and are talking through me<br />
439 >Like whispering the conversation into one of my ears and its going out the other to the opposite side.<br />
440 >I'm just trying to pretend this isn't happening and save face with all of it going on<br />
441 >Actually i'm now staring down at my cup of coke<br />
442 >It looks delicious<br />
443 >I'm really thirsty, just a sip please<br />
444 >It's just sitting there bubbling<br />
445 >Each popping bubble screaming my name</p>
447 <p>>Birthday scootches closer<br />
448 >The angle means she has full control of my arm and hand<br />
449 >My hand is now resting gently on her crotch<br />
450 >She takes this advantage to press my hand into her<br />
451 >I feel an imperceptible amount of dampness<br />
452 >Probably my fault from earlier.<br />
453 >She presses my hand into her harder<br />
454 >Definitely my fault from earlier<br />
455 >While i'm limply feeling the searing hot valley between birthday's thighs<br />
456 >[spoiler]Which is quite nice actually[/spoiler]<br />
457 >Homely scoots up as well</p>
459 <br />
460 <p><br />
461 >Oh no<br />
462 >The other girls are just frozen staring<br />
463 >why won't they do anything<br />
464 >Homely scoots one of her legs right behind me and straight along my backside<br />
465 >Her knee is actually touching birthday's knee<br />
466 >My arm is close to where she wants it<br />
467 >She's got an embarrassed but shameless look on her face<br />
468 >She swings her other knee around infront of me<br />
469 >I watch in slow-motion exactly where my eyes have been this entire time.<br />
470 >NO</p>
472 <p>>NO</p>
474 <p>>THATS NOT TRUE<br />
475 >as that delicious cup of soda spills</p>
477 <p>>THATS IMPOSSIBLE<br />
478 >All over my sandwich<br />
479 >NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO<br />
480 </p>
482 <p>>The girls let go of me in a hurry<br />
483 >Homely makes a couple "I'm Sorry"s, while she gets up and hurries to the kitchen for paper towels<br />
484 >Birthday goes with her<br />
485 >I scoot backwards to not get soda all over my pants<br />
486 >Still got a generous amount on one of my knees, but its not too bad<br />
487 >I dont stop scooting until i'm a relatively safe distance away<br />
488 >I cross my arms so that nobody can take them away from me<br />
489 >lie down and look at the ceiling again<br />
490 >Someone gets up across the room and walks over to me<br />
491 >Its raven<br />
492 >She stands above my head staring down at me with vehemence in her eyes<br />
493 >Its alright though because i can see up her top since its loose at the bottom<br />
494 >Blondie shows up a second later to my other side<br />
495 >I can see up her shirt too, but she's got a bra on.<br />
496 >They don't seem to be in a friendly mood though<br />
497 >I'm pretty sure they're going to kick me<br />
498 >Daggers, Longswords and some kind of Halberds being glared down at me<br />
499 >I figure its time to say something<br />
500 >"You know it wasn't my fault"<br />
501 >WRONG ANSWER<br />
502 >The previously mentioned weapons being fired at me from their eyes have now caught on fire.<br />
503 >They don't even say anything, they just stomp off<br />
504 >Lots of banging in the kitchen, i guess they're trying to find towels or something.<br />
505 >Someone gets up across the room<br />
506 >Its glasses of course, she shows up in the same place blondie was standing.<br />
507 >Her shirt is tucked in though<br />
508 >I softly say "Why didn't you save me?" a real sound of pleading in my voice.<br />
509 >She just shakes her head and walks away.<br />
510 </p>
512 <p>>Birthday and homely come back and start cleaning up the mess<br />
513 >I guess everyone just left plates and cups everywhere and left<br />
514 >I get up and help them clean up the coke<br />
515 >[spoiler] putting a towel over a drink that soaks into the carpet and punching it with your fists works wonders [/spoiler]<br />
516 >[spoiler] Plus it looks manly as fuck, try it sometime[/spoiler]<br />
517 >I get to watch my soggy sandwich get scooped up and whisked off to the kitchen.<br />
518 > ):<br />
519 >I pick up my empty cup and follow them<br />
520 >They've left the kitchen clean, so they toss the scraps in the trash and put the cups in the sink and leave.<br />
521 >I watch first hand as my soggy love falls into the trashcan and splats against the side before sadly sliding down.<br />
522 >I probably look like i've just lost a pet or something<br />
523 >The girls leave and i'm just standing there<br />
524 >Not really much coke left, so i get maybe a fifth of a cup<br />
525 > fuck this shit<br />
526 > i'm now in major sandwich depression<br />
527 > i walk over to the alcohol cabinet and pull out a bottle of rum and pour myself half shot right into the coke..<br />
528 >Close it up, put the bottle away and just chug the entire cup<br />
529 >Think about my sandwich the entire time ):<br />
530 <br />
531 <br />
532 Alright, Wednesday 8:00 PM it is. (PST)</p>
534 <h1 dir="ltr" >Update #7 : April 9th</h1>
536 <p><a href="http://archive.heinessen.com/r9k/thread/S11272240" >http://archive.heinessen.com/r9k/thread/S11272240</a></p>
538 <br />
539 <br />
540 <p>>When we left off, i had turned to alcoholism to make myself feel better after losing a dear comrade.<br />
541 >Which is pretty much a hyped up piece of melodramatic shit</p>
543 <p>>Firstly i had only taken like half a shot of rum in some coke, which is nothing.<br />
544 >Literally a pittance, made worse by the fact that it was in all likelihood very cheap rum.<br />
545 >Next up, i was only doing it because i felt like i was in that kind of mood where i should be a character that goes to the liquor cabinet and takes a drink to "Get over it"<br />
546 >My experience with alcohol up to that point was mostly in media, so i had no fucking clue what i was really doing anyway.</p>
548 <p>>If you haven't called it yet, i was being a gigantic raging emotional faggot over there alone in the kitchen.<br />
549 >But whatever, that's what i felt like at the time<br />
550 >I was getting picked on nearly constantly and used like a toy the entire time<br />
551 >I'm not going to pretend i didn't enjoy it and throw up a "who gives a fuck" attitude all the time. But that entire attitude was biting me in the ass.<br />
552 >Whenever i made a move, or didn't make a move. Everyone else would just blame me for making or not making that move.<br />
553 >There was no escape, i was at fault for everything and the longer i tried to not make myself an enemy of one girl, the more i made myself an enemy of the rest.</p>
555 <br />
556 <p>>Really i was just failing at the politics of the situation<br />
557 >Whatever i was doing, there was the foreboding sense that i would end up screwing this all up and end up without any of them as friends at the end.<br />
558 >I was really in the stages of regret at this point, questions flashing across my mind and tearing me up.<br />
559 >"Was all of this worth losing my best friend?"<br />
560 >"Is this worth losing three other good friends too?"<br />
561 >This sounds dramatic, but i was pretty bummed out over the entire morning<br />
562 >In my head i was going over the bad parts and ignoring the good<br />
563 >In that stupid way everyone manages to do when they get just the tiniest bit sad<br />
564 >Telling myself i had ruined it all and fucked up everything<br />
565 >See why i felt like i needed to "Drink" to make it all better?</p>
567 <br />
568 <p>>Either way i was i was standing in the kitchen glaring angrily at the lack of more soda in my cup.<br />
569 >Might as well go figure out where everyone went<br />
570 >I just slam the cup down on the kitchen counter. It's pretty loud so i'm sure atleast everyone in the living room heard me.<br />
571 >I don't think i stomped out, but my footsteps were heavy enough to be easily audible.<br />
572 >I get to the living room<br />
573 >Homely and Birthday are the only two in the living room and are playing competitive vidya<br />
574 >They seemed intently focused on winning<br />
575 >Working out the anger between one another i guess<br />
576 >I leave them alone, i really want nothing to do with either of them at the moment</p>
578 <br />
579 <p>>Still in brooding mode, i meander off to the other side of the house where i imagine the other girls went off to.<br />
580 >I find Birthday's room with the door closed<br />
581 >*sigh* its going to be locked isn't it<br />
582 >I try the handle loudly<br />
583 >Its locked<br />
584 >there's only silence inside, but i hear the faint sound of a TV humming through the wall so they're probably watching something with the sound turned off.<br />
585 >[spoiler]man i miss being able to hear televisions through walls, stupid LCD technology[/spoiler]</p>
587 <p>>I've got no interest in going back to the troublesome two in the living room<br />
588 >But i'm not welcome here it seems<br />
589 >I don't even say a word, i just stomp my feet a couple times, and then step lighter and lighter until it sounds like i walked away.<br />
590 >I then sit myself down silently against the wall beside the door and start listening.</p>
592 <br />
593 <p>>I'm silent, they're silent.<br />
594 >I just drift off into thought about how badly of a fuck up i am<br />
595 >In terms of helping me get over my mood, this is adding negative percentages.<br />
596 >I'm sitting somewhere around -300% when i finally hear talking from inside the room.<br />
597 >The door (unlike her parents bedroom) isn't a thick hardwood slab of wood, so i can hear through it more or less fine.<br />
598 >Its blondie talking<br />
599 >"Whoever it was is gone now..."<br />
600 >There's an obvious melancholy tone in her voice<br />
601 >"I just can't believe he would do something like that" - Blondie<br />
602 >"Yeah, he was my favorite too" - Raven<br />
603 >There's nothing but anger in her voice<br />
604 >In my head i've already decided and confirmed they're talking about me<br />
605 >Mood at -400% , each word is hitting where it hurts.</p>
607 <br />
608 <p>>"Man i sure hope she forgives him, she was in tears wasn't she?" -Blondie<br />
609 >"Yeah i don't know what happened there" - Raven<br />
610 >Oh lord wait who was in tears<br />
611 >Glasses isn't in the room?<br />
612 >Glasses is crying?<br />
613 >Fucking hell that means she's off somewhere else in the house that i didn't look<br />
614 >Crying<br />
615 >Guess she's not as carefree as i imagined her being<br />
616 >Probably i fucked things up with her just as much because i was her first.<br />
617 >I'm feeling like a shitstain on the carpet right then, i don't even move, i just keep staring forward and listening.</p>
619 <br />
620 <p>>There's a bit more talk about something i can't really understand.<br />
621 >Its like whispering or mumbling, i guess i can't really hear the entire conversation through the door.<br />
622 >However various sentences come out louder than the others<br />
623 >"Really if this continues for much longer i'm not sure what i'm going to do, i can't take this" -Raven<br />
624 >More whispering<br />
625 >"I'm going to cry" - Blondie<br />
626 >"Whatever he thinks is left, is gone between us" - Raven<br />
627 >Whatever, im done listening<br />
628 >I'm still at the door against the wall but i just stop<br />
629 >My ears don't really turn off, but there's just this loud ringing that's started up inside my head<br />
630 >I just can't hear anything over it</p>
632 <p>>I'm at -700% now, back to dying on the inside, internal turmoil shredding whatever confidence i had that i could get this situation to fix itself.</p>
634 <p>>Welp, better start figuring out ways to kill myself<br />
635 </p>
637 <p>>I don't actually have a timer for how long i was sitting there feeling sorry for myself<br />
638 >I was going over how many different ways i could apologize, or just leave and never come back, or just beg and plead until i was back in someone's good graces.<br />
639 >Eventually the ringing stops and i hear various scuffling noises inside<br />
640 >The door opens<br />
641 >Whoever it is, they were planning on moving to the living room or something, but just froze when they found me there<br />
642 >I wasn't looking at them, just staring at the floor infront of my crossed legs.<br />
643 >I probably looked like a sad sorry mess, but that's how i felt so i wasn't trying to hide it.<br />
644 >"How long were you sitting here"<br />
645 >Its raven, no emotion at all in her voice<br />
646 >I'm fucked now aint i</p>
648 <br />
649 <p>>"The entire time" is the response my brain decides to stupidly give them<br />
650 >I guess blondie is on the bed and hasn't seen me yet, because she lets out a gasp when she hears my voice.<br />
651 >Raven takes two very very very loud stomping footsteps towards me and reaches around my front and grabs a handful of my shirt collar<br />
652 >She's not nearly strong enough to actually lift me up like that, but it doesn't matter<br />
653 >I stumble to my feet on my own, completely avoiding eye contact.<br />
654 >I'm just staring down at my and Raven's feet, nothing else.<br />
655 >I'm ready for whatever they want to dole out to me<br />
656 >I guess it might make them feel better, and thats all i want out of the situation.<br />
657 >Raven shoves me inside of the room<br />
658 >I don't even resist<br />
659 >The door slams behind me<br />
660 >She's got my collar again, and i'm up against the door<br />
661 >I'm trying to avoid eye contact still, but she shakes me until i look up at her<br />
662 >Her eyes have something in them i can't read anymore, or maybe i'm just too busy feeling sorry for myself to try.</p>
664 <br />
665 <p>>She shoves her face closer to mine and gives me some kind of glare<br />
666 >i don't care what it was, it was just a glare<br />
667 >I can smell her breath<br />
668 >Whisky?<br />
669 >My eyes dart around the room for the first time<br />
670 >Its rather dark in here compared to the hallway outside<br />
671 >The blinds are all closed</p>
673 <p>>The Television is on, but is paused at the main screen of some DVD and isn't playing. Its giving the entire room a blueish glow.</p>
675 <p>>There's a bottle and three small glasses with ice and liquor in them on the floor.<br />
676 >Three?<br />
677 >I look at the bed<br />
678 >Blondie and Glasses are staring at me apprehensively, each one has an earbud in one ear and they're listening to something on a laptop.<br />
679 >They don't seem to be paying attention to whatever is on the screen, even though i can see the reflections of some kind of show in each of their eyes and the dancing shadows across the wall behind them.</p>
681 <br />
682 <p>>At first my mind is reeling, i wonder if i was misunderstanding who they were talking about and it was just a show or something.<br />
683 >I get brought back to my not-mind by raven pulling me forward by the scruff of my shirt, and then slamming me backwards again.<br />
684 >"Why were you listening outside?" - There's only anger in this question<br />
685 >I mumble/stutter a half bullshit response<br />
686 >It's really not believable though, punctuated by being slammed against the door again.<br />
687 >My head is kinda hitting the door every time, it hurts.<br />
688 >I'm not defending myself because i feel like i deserve it.<br />
689 >I've dug my grave and now i'm going to lie in it.<br />
690 >She can smell my breath now that i responded<br />
691 >Her face changes from emotionless to suddenly understanding that i had been drinking too.<br />
692 >She's gone from perfectly reasonable angry Raven, to batshit angry Raven<br />
693 >"Why were you drinking..." - Her voice isn't even angry anymore<br />
694 >There's actually nothing in her voice, its an empty question</p>
696 <br />
697 <p>>I'm not going to just take that one<br />
698 >"Why the fuck were you all drinki..."<br />
699 >I get slammed against the door again and can't even finish<br />
700 >That one actually really really hurt, she's not scuffing me up anymore she's actually trying to hurt me.<br />
701 >I'm still mentally kicking myself and telling myself i deserve it though<br />
702 >I'm pretty much a pathetic human being, fuck myself for screwing this all up<br />
703 >Not an ounce of resistance in my body against this assault<br />
704 >Her next words were screamed in a flurry, i don't even think she thought about them before she said them.<br />
705 >"WE'RE not the problem here, YOU are"<br />
706 >There is only pain in those words<br />
707 >I mentally scrunch up into a smaller ball</p>
709 <p><br />
710 >I would describe what i was feeling, but i was forcing myself not to feel anything.</p>
712 <p>>As if the act of feeling nothing at all over all of this was actually more painful than feeling something.<br />
713 >I don't know how that works, don't ask me, but it happens sometimes.<br />
714 >I've got a thousand apologies lined up in my head that i wrote outside<br />
715 >I bring my eyes up from the floor and look raven in the face<br />
716 >I start reciting one<br />
717 >"I... i know i've fucked everything up"<br />
718 >The entire room is silent, they seem to be weighing on whatever i'm going to say next.<br />
719 >Raven has me pinned back against the door still<br />
720 >Her eyes are shining<br />
721 >Her face is genuinely contorted into rage.<br />
722 >I try to choose my next words carefully<br />
723 >"I tried not to play favorites and make an..."</p>
725 <br />
726 <p>>I'm interrupted by Raven's hand<br />
727 >To the side of my face<br />
728 >Hard<br />
729 >"FAVORITES!?!?!?!"<br />
730 >That's not raven's voice</p>
732 <p>>It can't be<br />
733 >it's like the battlecry of a harpy you've accidentally stumbled across a nest of.<br />
734 >after you killed her husband<br />
735 >and crushed all of her eggs<br />
736 >and she hit me<br />
737 >I don't even need to explain what's wrong with that<br />
738 >I already told you whats wrong with that<br />
739 >But i can't take any time and contemplate which alien has invaded raven's body and taken her over because i'm getting screamed at still<br />
740 >"THAT'S ALL YOU THINK THIS IS?"<br />
741 >"YOU PLAYING FaVorItEs?"<br />
742 >She enunciated favorites like its some kind of huge complicated word, but it gets the point across like icy hot blasts</p>
744 <br />
745 <p>>"ILL SHOW YOU FAVORITES"<br />
746 >I'm really not able to pay attention to anything else she's screaming because at this point she's hit me full palm on the side of my head again<br />
747 >[spoiler]I don't know how many of you anons have been hit by women but its really not like it hurts or anything[/spoiler]<br />
748 >[spoiler]It does, but as a male you're used to getting hit by your bros, so your pain threshold is rather high[/spoiler]<br />
749 >[spoiler]That doesn't mean that getting hit in the face is painless though.[/spoiler]<br />
750 >[spoiler]Especially not when the female in question puts all her strength (and trust me they get like 10x stronger when they're emotional) into beating your face in.[/spoiler]<br />
751 >My ears were ringing, the side of my face was white hot like it had just been pressed against a heated frying pan.<br />
752 >The pain wasn't what was on my mind though<br />
753 >The words "She's not hitting me" just repeated over and over in my head<br />
754 >She can't be, she wouldn't ever, this can't be her.<br />
755 >I took hit after hit<br />
756 >All i could hear were the cushioning SMACK of each contact.<br />
757 >The ringing in my ears followed every one.</p>
759 <br />
760 <p><br />
761 >I take about six hits in total and it stops<br />
762 >I've moved halfway across the room during this entire thing and i'm now actually scrunched up in the corner between the cabinet the TV is sitting on and the wall beside the door.<br />
763 >I'm just staring lifelessly down at the floor and leaning against the cabinet<br />
764 >I'm dimly aware of six feet, so i assume Blondie and Glasses got up and stopped her<br />
765 >I'm not really sure what i feel about that development, i still feel like i deserved every single hit.<br />
766 >I guess i was going through stockholm syndrome of sorts, emphasizing with my abuser.</p>
768 <p>>My ears are still ringing, but its lessening enough to hear the angry words being flung around.<br />
769 >I just dumbly stare as raven's feet pull back from the group and stomp away<br />
770 >I can't really hear the stomps, but i can feel the vibrations through the floor.<br />
771 >I'm mentally screaming for someone to stop her, but i don't say a word.<br />
772 >Whatever just went down, we're definitely not best friends anymore<br />
773 >Or friends even</p>
775 <br />
776 <p>>Next thing i see is Glasses' face in front of my own<br />
777 >She's crying for real this time<br />
778 >Its running down her cheeks and down the corners of her mouth, which is scrunched up into a worried purse.<br />
779 >She's places her hand on my cheek and seems to be checking for damage<br />
780 >Her hand is freezing compared to the solar-flare of heat emanating off my face<br />
781 >i guess i don't have any permanent damage because i'm hoisted to my feet a second later<br />
782 >Kinda shuffled over to the bed and i fall on it face first<br />
783 >I'm not even fully on the bed but i don't give a shit<br />
784 >Im not in pain though, or whatever pain i'm in is being droned out by the suffering soul-crushing feeling of my heart actually being ripped from my chest.<br />
785 >Gravity does give a shit about me not being on the bed though, and quickly i find myself sliding to the floor again.<br />
786 >I end up sitting at the base of the bed and looking up at glasses and blondie<br />
787 >One thought on my mind<br />
788 >Raven<br />
789 >I manage to eek some words out "Go make sure she doesn't do anything..."<br />
790 >I pause, i don't want to say it but its on my mind so i'm sure its on theirs too<br />
791 >"Stupid"</p>
793 <br />
794 <p>>Blondie is off to the living room rather quickly<br />
795 >I hear frantic yelling in the distance about how Raven and I just had a fight and they need to find raven.<br />
796 >I smile a little bit when she says its "thier fault"<br />
797 >for fucking once someone understands<br />
798 >for fucking once<br />
799 >Glasses doesn't say a word, she just silently sits beside me at the base of the bed<br />
800 >I feel her wrap her arm around me, but i'm numb and silent<br />
801 >Its still comforting<br />
802 >I rest my head on her shoulder and just continue staring into the distance and listening to the sounds of the house being overturned in search for raven.</p>
804 <br />
805 <p>>This goes on for a while<br />
806 >Yells of "Raven where are you?"</p>
808 <p>>and "Come out and talk please!"<br />
809 >echo through the house.<br />
810 >I'm staring at one of the cups of liquor on the ground that was tipped over in the scuffle.<br />
811 >There's ice cubes and a puddle, just sadly melting<br />
812 >Neither of us give enough of a shit to clean it up.<br />
813 >I do get around to asking how many raven had though.<br />
814 >"We told her to stop" was the response i get from glasses<br />
815 >That kind of response that makes you worried because of how much seemingly innocuous regret is inlaid into it.<br />
816 >"How many" I growl<br />
817 >I'm now realizing that the bottle of whiskey is actually half empty.<br />
818 >"We had one, each, she had...."<br />
819 >"Three"<br />
820 >What the actual fuck<br />
821 >These aren't even shots these are actual cups.<br />
822 > what the fuck was she thinking.<br />
823 >How could she even be that fucking stupid</p>
825 <br />
826 <p><br />
827 >My mind isn't even feeling sorry for myself anymore<br />
828 >Three fucking cups jesus christ<br />
829 >even i would be out like a fucking light with that much, and she's smaller than everyone here.<br />
830 >I'm furiously angry at Blondie and Glasses<br />
831 >How fucking retarded could they be to be sitting on the bed letting raven fucking drown three fucking cups.<br />
832 >How are they that oblivious to her feeling like shit<br />
833 >Not to mention we now have no clue where she is.<br />
834 >So she's hiding somewhere, with enough whiskey in her stomach to get severe alcohol poisoning or worse, who knows how much else in her blood stream, and to top it off we have no clue where she is.<br />
835 >AND There's still yelling in the house so nobody has found her yet.</p>
837 <br />
838 <p>>I'm not even going to stand for this shit<br />
839 >I rattle off so many harsh names and insults at glasses that it's like she's hit with a god damn shockwave.<br />
840 >I'm up and out the door as i tell her plainly and loudly that she's an absolute shit friend.<br />
841 >I end up in the living room where blondie and birthday are going over where they haven't looked<br />
842 >I announce to them loudly that blondie is fucking retarded and raven has had three full cups of whiskey<br />
843 >Birthday is speechless<br />
844 >She's got the look of a deer stuck in headlights<br />
845 >Blondie takes my words like a champion though<br />
846 >Even though her face has "Sorry" all over it<br />
847 >I guess she knows she really fucked up</p>
849 <br />
850 <p>>I don't wait for her decision or reaction past that though<br />
851 >I'm out of the room and roaming the house trying to decide where the fuck raven has gone<br />
852 >Glasses seems to be looking too, nobody can find her<br />
853 >She didn't leave the house because nobody heard any doors slam, but just in-case homely pops out front and goes running around the block to try to find her.<br />
854 >I admire the effort, but i know she's gotta be in the house somewhere<br />
855 >I just can't think<br />
856 >I can't fucking think</p>
858 <br />
859 <p>>I try to piece together where in the house nobody would have looked<br />
860 >Its been 5 frantic minutes, i can't even begin to imagine how drunk she is and still digesting more.<br />
861 >I ask blondie if she checked the closet, she shys her eyes downwards and says yes.<br />
862 >I ask glasses if she checked the bathrooms, also a yes<br />
863 >I'm trying to narrow it down where she could have run to<br />
864 >The entire time i can't get my mind off the fact that she had actually hit me<br />
865 >Out of all the things she could be feeling right now its ashamed of herself<br />
866 > I know her too well for her to really be angry, she's hiding because she's afraid of what she's done and ashamed.<br />
867 >Oh</p>
869 <br />
870 <p>>I know exactly where she is<br />
871 >I know its not the master bedroom because it's got a baseboard, and not birthday's<br />
872 >Guest bedroom<br />
873 >I rush over to that part of the house<br />
874 >I barge in the door announcing what a fucking idiot she is<br />
875 >There's just big boxes under the bed<br />
876 >Oh fuck<br />
877 >She can't be under there<br />
878 >I jump on the bed and crawl across<br />
879 >There's no sounds, just the squeaking of the bedsprings<br />
880 >I look down on the other side<br />
881 >Boxes<br />
882 >No no no where the hell is she</p>
884 <br />
885 <p>>I fall back onto the bed and make the entire thing creak again<br />
886 >I think i hear a squeak that isn't the bedsprings but i'm not sure if i imagined it or not<br />
887 >Wait a fucking second<br />
888 >What i just saw plays over in my memory again<br />
889 >I check over the side again<br />
890 >One of the boxes has the corner actually sticking out an inch away from the bottom of the bedframe<br />
891 >Sherlock holmes moment here<br />
892 >No way anyone would purposely have boxes that didn't fit under the bed<br />
893 >I get out and actually break part of the box ripping it out from under the bedframe<br />
894 >I don't give a fuck<br />
895 >Guess whose leg i find?</p>
897 <br />
898 <p><br />
899 >The biggest idiot in the house that's who<br />
900 >fucking pulled the boxes back behind her to hide<br />
901 >If she had stayed down there on her back under the bed<br />
902 >she would have passed out and thrown up.<br />
903 >and fucking choked to death on her own vomit or something</p>
905 <p>>even if she hadn't thrown up our schools talked to us all the time about alcohol poisoning<br />
906 >Hypothermia, Heart palpitations, Shallow and eventually completely ceased breathing.<br />
907 >for a fucking 80-90 pound girl who drank as much as she did, there is no doubt in my mind even to this day.</p>
909 <p>>she would have actually fucking died, if i hadn't been able to find her<br />
910 >This is not fucking cool at all in my book<br />
911 >The sheer level of stupidity and selfishness that this girl had just caused was mind boggling<br />
912 >The entire last half hour was so unlike her in every way possible that i couldn't even be sure it actually happened.<br />
913 >Not to mention if i hadn't found her i would have blamed my god damn self<br />
914 >The level of actual selfishness was off the charts here<br />
915 >I wasn't even capable of speech that could describe how fucking atrocious this all was in my head<br />
916 </p>
918 <p>>I don't even give her a chance to react</p>
920 <p>>I'm not even thinking through my actions anymore, it's just all instinct.<br />
921 >In three seconds she's sprawled out on the floor blinking at the brightness of the light<br />
922 >She's crying<br />
923 >Fuck if i care<br />
924 >In Seven seconds i have her on her feet<br />
925 >In Ten seconds I'm hauling her out the door, one of her arms over my shoulder<br />
926 >She's awful on her feet, showing all signs of a person who's had way, way, way way too much to drink.<br />
927 >Fuck if i care<br />
928 >Fifteen seconds i've yelled throughout the house that i've found her<br />
929 >Scampering feet and ten seconds later i'm in the small bathroom with raven, and glasses is helping me hold her up and drag her.<br />
930 >I drag her forcibly over to the bathtub and shove her down so she's kneeling on the floor and her head is over it<br />
931 >She's crying and saying that i'm hurting her<br />
932 >Fuck if i care.</p>
934 <br />
935 <p>>I'm not even sure its me controlling my own body at this point<br />
936 >"Make yourself puke"<br />
937 >She's crying and shaking her head<br />
938 >"I don't wa..."<br />
939 >I interrupt her bullshit excuse with a fucking lion's roar of "NOW"<br />
940 >She's still not having it and shaking her head fervently from side to side.<br />
941 >Its actually flinging her tears and splattering me with them<br />
942 >I think actually most of it might be slobber too, she's an awful sniveling mess<br />
943 >Alright have it your fucking way<br />
944 >I just grab her head, pull it back and jam my actual fingers down her throat</p>
946 <br />
947 <p>>This is accompanied by all the sounds you would associate with foreign objects violently being thrust into your mouth<br />
948 >Sobbing<br />
949 >Coughing<br />
950 >Muffled Screams<br />
951 >I know every anon here has had a finger or two in their throat by their own volition once or twice.<br />
952 >Now imagine trying to do that if the mouth and human attached to the mouth is extremely against this idea.<br />
953 >Her throat was contracting<br />
954 >Her tongue was violently trying to force me out<br />
955 >She was clamping down her teeth as hard as she could<br />
956 >My hand was actually covered in bite marks and i couldn't be sure the bitch had actually broken a bone or two or not<br />
957 >But Between glasses yanking back on her hair and me forcing my hand into her mouth and prying it open with my other hand, i do manage to get two fingers deep enough to trigger the gag reflex<br />
958 >This doesn't work in any kind of polite manner either</p>
960 <br />
961 <p>>Vomit went pretty much everywhere<br />
962 >All over my arm<br />
963 >All over my shirt<br />
964 >All over Raven's shirt<br />
965 >All over Glasses shirt<br />
966 >All over the bathtub<br />
967 >The only things that didn't get covered in chunks of sandwiches, coke and whiskey was pretty much her hair because Glasses had a firm grip on that.<br />
968 >I just let go of her and leave her to limply retch into the bathtub<br />
969 >I rip off my shirt, use what was clean on it to wipe my arm and hand off as well as i could, and just crumple it up and toss it into the bathtub.<br />
970 >I then took a firm grip on Raven's hair right above where glasses was holding it<br />
971 >I'm sure i was squeezing hard and pulling on the roots, it probably hurt her, but i was no longer in a gentle mood<br />
972 >I mention for glasses to get her shirt off as well, which comes off at about the same speed as mine and is tossed into the tub.<br />
973 >She's wearing a bra, i know you care but i didn't at the moment.</p>
975 <br />
976 <p>>Raven is done retching and is just limply lying across the bathtub ledge<br />
977 >We just scoop her upwards and her shirt comes off too<br />
978 >I just use it to roughly wipe her face and chin down and toss it as well<br />
979 >She's still sobbing<br />
980 >Too fucking bad<br />
981 >I grab a washcloth off the towel rack, wet it with hot water and just hand it to glasses<br />
982 >I get a chance at this point to see the three women outside the door staring in with worried looks on their faces.<br />
983 >I don't even look at them directly, i just stand by the sink.<br />
984 >I watch in the mirror as Glasses lovingly cleans up Raven like you would a small child<br />
985 >The washcloth goes over the sobbing girl's face<br />
986 >wipes away her tears<br />
987 >the spittle from the sides of her mouth<br />
988 >the vomit from her chin and upper chest<br />
989 >the thought came to my head that glasses would make a great mother someday.<br />
990 >This is quickly discarded as impossible.</p>
992 <br />
993 <p>>She's clean enough<br />
994 >I get the washcloth back and just leave it in the sink<br />
995 >I kneel down, wrap my arms around raven's bare waist and hoist her up<br />
996 >She doesn't really go anywhere just crumples<br />
997 >Oh wow her legs don't fucking work anymore<br />
998 >Im so fucking done with this girl<br />
999 >I just kneel down and grab one of her thighs and wrap my arm around her underarm and back<br />
1000 >Then i hoist it all upwards<br />
1001 >This results in the lazyiest fucking possible way of picking up a girl<br />
1002 >But its the easiest if you're in a small space and have zero leverage on a limp body</p>
1004 <p>>i've got one leg fully over my shoulder, the other just hanging loose<br />
1005 >Then her entire upper body is hanging off to the other side of me<br />
1006 >She's kinda complaining<br />
1007 >No fucks given<br />
1008 >I just turn sideways and walk her out of there and back to the guest room</p>
1010 <br />
1011 <p>>Glasses is step in step with me though, god damn miracle woman she is.<br />
1012 >Before i'm even to the bed, Glasses has rolled back the covers.<br />
1013 >Raven goes in<br />
1014 >We prop her up with pillows on her side ( i guess one of us had seen it in a movie or something)<br />
1015 >Wrap her up so she can't move in blankets<br />
1016 >Problem fucking solved<br />
1017 >Let her sleep the rest of whatever is in her system off<br />
1018 >She's still kinda awake though<br />
1019 >I probably have to make sure she atleast goes to sleep<br />
1020 >I lie back on the bed and turn over to look at her<br />
1021 >she's half awake<br />
1022 >[spoiler] when you get someone really drunk into a warm comfy bed, they fade off fast[/spoiler]<br />
1023 >i glare at her.<br />
1024 >She starts moving her lips<br />
1025 >Faint but clear "thank you"</p>
1027 <p>>I say the first thing that comes to my mind<br />
1028 >"I fucking hate you"<br />
1029 >Yep, that was the first thing<br />
1030 >She doesn't even flinch, frankly i think she smiles<br />
1031 >she mumbles "i know" before she's off to slumberland<br />
1032 >Yeah well fuck you and sweet dreams too.</p>
1034 <br />
1035 <p>>I sit up<br />
1036 >I'm still shirtless<br />
1037 >Likeigiveafuckanymore<br />
1038 >I stand up and start to leave before realizing we probably should check in on her every couple minutes<br />
1039 >I just point at girls and make it clear it's their job to make sure she's breathing every 10-15 minutes<br />
1040 >I grab glasses' arm and lead her back to the bathroom<br />
1041 >Close the door<br />
1042 >Lock the door<br />
1043 >Turn on the shower<br />
1044 >Watch as the disgusting mess just kind of washes away down the drain<br />
1045 >Of course its not going to be that easy though, chunks get stuck everywhere and its all over the clothes.<br />
1046 >Glasses and i spend ten minutes scrubbing the bathroom clean<br />
1047 >We don't take off any more clothes<br />
1048 >We don't really get more than our upper torsos in the shower<br />
1049 >But we get everything clean, and wash ourselves off thoroughly </p>
1051 <br />
1052 <p>>We walk out of the bathroom with pretty much the entire top halves of our bodies dripping wet, and a pile of clothes in my hands.<br />
1053 >We get about five steps out of the bathroom before i yell out across the entire household.<br />
1054 >"BLONDIE, HOMELY, BIRTHDAY, LIVING ROOM NOW"<br />
1055 >they better fucking listen<br />
1056 >We end up waltzing into the laundry room and just tossing the wet clothes in an empty hamper, we'll deal with that later.<br />
1057 >We move back to the living room and they're actually kind of lined up like soldiers<br />
1058 >I don't think it was intentional but i just force glasses to stand in ranks along with the rest of them.<br />
1059 >She's still not wearing a shirt<br />
1060 >I'm still not wearing a shirt<br />
1061 >That doesn't make my fucking terror inducing look of malice any less scary to them all though.</p>
1063 <br />
1064 <p>>I'm like a god-damn army sergeant up in here addressing troops.</p>
1066 <p>>I've got rules to lay down of my own now.</p>
1068 <p>>First thing i do is call blondie and glasses absolutely shit friends again.</p>
1070 <p>>I make it clear that they really fucked up, not just in the little "Oh well you could have stopped it" way either.</p>
1072 <p>>I make it firmly clear that although she's completely to blame for drinking so much herself, they could have just stopped her at any time</p>
1074 <p>>I make it clear that they both owe Raven a serious something whenever the time comes for favors to be cashed in.</p>
1076 <p>>Glasses gets off the hook a bit because she did really help me with her though.</p>
1078 <br />
1079 <p>>Next on my list is fucking alcohol<br />
1080 >I lay down the law, nobody is to touch another god damn drop.<br />
1081 >I send Blondie to go retrieve the cups and bottle from birthday's room and burn them.<br />
1082 >We don't say a word while we wait for her to come back<br />
1083 >Its pure silence<br />
1084 >I've got a look on my face that makes sure it stays silence.<br />
1085 >All the girl's are really standing up straight now, it is like a bunch of marines.<br />
1086 >They're probably terrified of me.</p>
1088 <p>>Eventually blondie returns and assumes her position in line.</p>
1090 <br />
1091 <p>>Third on my list is the sleepover itself<br />
1092 >Its over<br />
1093 >The silence doesn't hold<br />
1094 >Dissent in the ranks<br />
1095 >"We shouldn't be punished its her fault!" - Blondie<br />
1096 >"We weren't even drinking!" - Birthday<br />
1097 >I pull the shut the fuck up card<br />
1098 >Twice<br />
1099 >I make it very god damn clear that a girl almost died here<br />
1100 >That us just dicking around and having a "good" time was over<br />
1101 >I make it full well clear that i'm going to go call Raven's mother and get her to pick up her daughter and that this sleepover is over.</p>
1103 <br />
1104 <p>>Everyone groans<br />
1105 >Homely blurts out "It's not our fucking fault she has problems"<br />
1106 >"We're not as fucked up as your FRIEND"<br />
1107 >Oh man homely<br />
1108 >The one thing you could have said to set me off<br />
1109 >You did it<br />
1110 >I just slap a smile on my face<br />
1111 >A shallow, empty, cheek to cheek, terrifying smile.<br />
1112 >She sees it and shrinks back, no argument left.</p>
1114 <br />
1115 <p>>I don't even wait for any more opinions and just start walking away.<br />
1116 >"Wait"<br />
1117 >Its Glasses<br />
1118 >"You can't, you know you can't"<br />
1119 >*sigh*<br />
1120 >She's right<br />
1121 >I'm on great terms with raven's mom, but even the most innocent explanation for why she was drunk and out like a light would just set off old bombs that are better left buried.<br />
1122 >fuck maybe i can call my mom or something<br />
1123 >"Take care of raven"<br />
1124 >Right....<br />
1125 >I guess its a really dumb idea to get any parents involved in this</p>
1127 <br />
1128 <p>>*sigh* doing the irresponsible thing is the right choice i guess.</p>
1130 <p>>It would set off lots of parental bullshit meters if the other parents found i was around at this sleepover anyway, and that alcohol was involved.<br />
1131 >Only so much of a lie you can hold when shit like this goes down.<br />
1132 >Not to mention the "Almost died" part.<br />
1133 >Blondie points this out word for word.<br />
1134 >Plus that whole almost dying thing<br />
1135 >I guess she's right<br />
1136 >I turn around</p>
1138 <p>>"LISTEN UP MAGGOTS"<br />
1139 >they all jump like half a foot and stand up straight<br />
1140 >god damn that was pretty neat i didn't think they would do that.<br />
1141 >"If we're going to continue this we need some oath of secrecy that nothing leaves this sleepover"<br />
1142 >Birthday comes up with some sappy multi-pinkie-finger swear system and oaths are said to not speak a word of anything that happened or happens.<br />
1143 >[spoiler]For those of you who don't know what a pinky swear is, it requires all participants to extend hands and *link* your pinkies with one another.[/spoiler]<br />
1144 >I just stand there and watch with my hands behind my back</p>
1146 <p>>[spoiler]YW: Loney anons[/spoiler]</p>
1148 <br />
1149 <p>>Now that this is done, i snap at Homely to go make sure raven is alright.<br />
1150 >She's up and out of the room in an instant<br />
1151 >God i wish i could do that all the time.<br />
1152 >I'm out of alpha for the time being though, so i just ask "then what are we doing now"<br />
1153 >It kinda comes out with a little bit of alpha left over, but its less of a question than a demand.<br />
1154 >Its only like 1:00 PM<br />
1155 >Birthday suggests more board games<br />
1156 >I don't give a shirt<br />
1157 >glasses doesn't seem to give a shirt either<br />
1158 >We both don't have shirts to give<br />
1159 >I'm not fucking fixing that though, lets play board games.</p>
1161 <br />
1162 <p>>Birthday pulls out the pile of board games again<br />
1163 >Monopoly no<br />
1164 >Risk is too long<br />
1165 >Shoots and Ladders lol<br />
1166 >Chess Lol<br />
1167 >Checkers Lol<br />
1168 >Battleship No<br />
1169 >Jenga<br />
1170 >Hell yes<br />
1171 >Blondie says no to jenga though<br />
1172 >POKEMON MASTER TRAINER MOTHERFUCKING BOARD GAME<br />
1173 >HELL FUCKING YES</p>
1175 <p>>THIS IS HOW YOU GET OVER NEAR DEATH SITUATIONS</p>
1177 <br />
1178 <p>>We set that shit up<br />
1179 >"Wait up, winner needs to actually get something" - Birthday<br />
1180 >"They can tell all the losers to do one thing together and they have to do it?" - Homely<br />
1181 >Meh i guess thats not that bad an idea homely<br />
1182 >but i feel like anyone else would have come up with better<br />
1183 >Everyone seems to like that rule though.<br />
1184 >Time to be a fuckin pokemon master<br />
1185 >God damn roaming the countryside<br />
1186 >Capturing all the pokemon<br />
1187 >[spoiler]that game had like 150 pokemon tokens you could capture, it was great and nobody had it[/spoiler]<br />
1188 >We get to the elite four<br />
1189 >Each of us is getting our asses wrecked<br />
1190 >Except for one girl</p>
1192 <br />
1193 <p>>Homely<br />
1194 >GOD DAMNIT<br />
1195 >She rolls a motherfucking rare chance card and captures an articuno<br />
1196 >and a Zapdos<br />
1197 >Got like a fully evolved set of god-tier pokemon<br />
1198 >Seriously what the fuck<br />
1199 >Everyone else is floundering around with magicarp and ratatats<br />
1200 >She just rolls through and dominates everything<br />
1201 >Blows through the elite four, wins whatever the end of the game was.<br />
1202 >I can't handle this<br />
1203 >Everyone is mad<br />
1204 >"Alright i get to tell you guys to do something right?"<br />
1205 >Fucking hate you homely so much this better be good.</p>
1207 <br />
1208 <p>>"Everyone needs to stand on their heads for 20 seconds"<br />
1209 >EVERYONE IS REALLY MAD<br />
1210 >WHAT KIND OF DUMB FUCKED UP DEMAND IS THAT HOMELY<br />
1211 >HOLY SHIT THAT'S WORSE THAN LIKE ENTRY LEVEL TRUTH OR DARE<br />
1212 >FUCKING GOD DAMN IM GOING TO KILL YOU OFF AS SOON AS I GET A CHANCE<br />
1213 >I CAN'T EVEN HANDLE HOW BAD YOU ARE AT SEXY STO...<br />
1214 >"Without your shirt tucked in"<br />
1215 >ehh... i guess that's alright<br />
1216 >still pretty shit though<br />
1217 >Only really works on blondie and birthday, but i guess that's fine.</p>
1219 <br />
1220 <p>>I go first<br />
1221 >i can't stand on my head for shit<br />
1222 >I just fall over<br />
1223 >Can't hold 20 seconds at all<br />
1224 >Can't even hold 5<br />
1225 >Eventually homely takes pity on me and grabs my legs and holds me up<br />
1226 >which would be pity if she didn't take the chance to run her hands up and down my ankles.<br />
1227 >I just shut up and ignore her, since its not really something that's likely to make the other girls angry, and get my 20 seconds over.<br />
1228 >Glasses decides to go next<br />
1229 >She's perfect at standing on her head<br />
1230 >I don't understand how that works<br />
1231 >Probably breasts are counterbalances or something.<br />
1232 >Her breasts go from sagging a little bit downwards, to upwards toward her face as she does the flip over.<br />
1233 >She's still got her bra on, so there's not much movement really, but it's a lovely excuse to stare at her chest and delicious underboob for twenty seconds.<br />
1234 >She eventually rights herself and is finished<br />
1235 >The best part is i can still stare at her chest<br />
1236 </p>
1238 <p>>I'm broken out of my reverie by blondie offering up her turn next.<br />
1239 >She does a half somersault and ends up with her legs kicking in the air.<br />
1240 >Her shirt falls down and is pretty loose, so right over the front of her bra it goes.<br />
1241 >There's an absolutely glorious span of skin visible.<br />
1242 >From the waistband of her shorts (which seem to be a tad low on her hips), to the lovely triangle of flesh above her breasts but below her shirt.<br />
1243 >Even her bellybutton is tantalizingly visible<br />
1244 >Her chest is rather firm so there's no sag at all upside down.<br />
1245 >Just cute blue-bra encased breasts for twenty seconds.<br />
1246 >With adorable kicking legs in the air.<br />
1247 >except she tumbles down after fifteen<br />
1248 >Homely stomps her foot<br />
1249 >"You have to do all twenty!"<br />
1250 >Hahahaha, re-dos<br />
1251 >Blondie is forced to do another entire twenty seconds<br />
1252 >with enough skin that i'm inclined to become a vampire again.</p>
1254 <br />
1255 <p>>Last up is birthday<br />
1256 >She's blushing in the corner and standing behind where glasses is.<br />
1257 >I don't know why, because the only person she would be embarrassed about showing her tits to would be me<br />
1258 >And she probably knows i was looking at them all morning<br />
1259 >They're just tits, leme see em already<br />
1260 >She steps out<br />
1261 >OH<br />
1262 >RIGHT<br />
1263 >she's wearing a skirt<br />
1264 >Homely you evil genius</p>
1266 <br />
1267 <p>>She seems to just decide in her head she should get it over with.<br />
1268 >Birthday walks over to where everyone else was doing handstands and kinda kneels there facing away from us.</p>
1270 <p>>Then just leans forward with her arms on the ground and elevates one leg up in the air.<br />
1271 >Gravity does its job and her skirt just falls down around her torso<br />
1272 >She lifts up the other leg and keeps them both held towards the ceiling<br />
1273 >We can't see her chest with her skirt falling around her shoulders, but what we do see is much better.<br />
1274 >First we start at the ankles, her long smooth legs were completely revealed towards us, i could see knees, thighs and even the elusive upper thigh in one look.<br />
1275 >Her skin was a lovely shade of white, i guess she didn't tan much either.<br />
1276 >She was also shaved smooth the entire way, legs and all.<br />
1277 >This means one great thing<br />
1278 >Her underwear is firmly pressed into the crease of her crotch.<br />
1279 >This leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination<br />
1280 >As far as we were all concerned, we knew exactly where that vagina started and ended.</p>
1282 <br />
1283 <p>>She holds this position for 10 seconds<br />
1284 >12 seconds<br />
1285 >14 seconds she gives a little waggle<br />
1286 >She's on the ground at 16.<br />
1287 >I don't understand how, she had perfect form.<br />
1288 >Well you knew the rules, she had to go again<br />
1289 >Up in the air her legs went again<br />
1290 >Down around her shoulders the skirt went again<br />
1291 >Up in the air my boner went.<br />
1292 >this time she wiggles her legs a little bit the entire time<br />
1293 >This forces the panties back and forth through the crease<br />
1294 >We're really just standing like four feet away from this, even the girls were staring.<br />
1295 >16 seconds<br />
1296 >17 seconds<br />
1297 >She's on the floor again<br />
1298 >Homely is looking embarrassed, she tries to say that Birthday made it to 20 seconds that time.<br />
1299 >Birthday won't have any of it<br />
1300 >"No no no, i can do it i swear!"<br />
1301 >"Let me try again"<br />
1302 >She's sneaking peeks at all of us while giving this little piece of acting though<br />
1303 >We know.</p>
1305 <br />
1306 <p>>Birthday stands back up, backs up and puts her hands on her hips and pulls and wiggles a tiny bit<br />
1307 >Says she's "Readjusting"<br />
1308 >She gets back in position but she's facing us this time.<br />
1309 >She goes up, first one leg, than the other.<br />
1310 >Because she started facing us, it takes longer for the skirt to fall out of sight this time.<br />
1311 >When it does we get three audible gasps from our crowd<br />
1312 >Me twice<br />
1313 >and Glasses<br />
1314 >She had wedged the back part of her underwear perfectly between the crease of her buttcheeks.<br />
1315 >Both of them were perfectly visible, flapping in the wind even.<br />
1316 >Not to mention we got to see the entire smooth backs of her legs to go with it<br />
1317 >She holds this for fifteen seconds<br />
1318 >Then she spreads her legs and gives us a full view of her crotch<br />
1319 >Panties digging in the entire way<br />
1320 >Then she starts falling again</p>
1322 <br />
1323 <p>>Not this time<br />
1324 >Homely grabs her legs and forces her upright again for the last 5 seconds<br />
1325 >Awe<br />
1326 >Homely you were so close<br />
1327 >Birthday gets up and won't actually look any of us in the eyes though<br />
1328 >I guess it helped that her skirt completely hid us from view when she was doing it.<br />
1329 >Homely declares that rule a terrible failure and that we shouldn't use it again<br />
1330 >backfiredonyoudidn'tit<br />
1331 >She's complaining she's the only one who didn't get a turn<br />
1332 >That's alright in my book<br />
1333 >We ignore her<br />
1334 >I inform blondie she's in charge of coming up with the next rule and i walk off to check on raven</p>
1336 <br />
1337 <p>>I pop into the guest room<br />
1338 >She's curled up with her arms wrapped around one of the pillows that's propping her up<br />
1339 >She hasn't really moved much otherwise<br />
1340 >She's got a big clump of hair sticking into the side of her mouth though<br />
1341 >I wipe it away and try and tuck it behind her ear with my hand<br />
1342 >I don't really break contact and move closer to check her breathing and i move my hand over her forehead to check her temperature.<br />
1343 >[spoiler]at the time i wasn't really sure what i was supposed to be doing ok[/spoiler]<br />
1344 >[spoiler]i just associated it as being dangerously sick, so you know check everything[/spoiler]<br />
1345 >Confident she's safely in the arms of slumber and not eternal slumber, i return to the board games room</p>
1347 <br />
1348 <p>>Blondie hasn't really come up with a new rule<br />
1349 >she's just saying we should get to ask one person truth or dare<br />
1350 >*sigh* i hate this game i never win<br />
1351 >[spoiler] its not possible to win truth or dare with women[/spoiler]<br />
1352 >Come to think of it i don't seem to win anything with these women<br />
1353 >Jenga is determined as our next endeavour of time wastery.<br />
1354 >We set up the tower and throw down the rules<br />
1355 >Everyone gets a turn, if you make the tower fall you have to set it up again and wait until we start a completely new round.<br />
1356 >It starts 5 players, then 4, 3, 2<br />
1357 >Winner gets to truth or dare one person.</p>
1359 <br />
1360 <p>>We play blitzkrieg rules (after the first round of turns, you have to take 2 blocks, then 3)<br />
1361 >So rounds go pretty damn fast<br />
1362 >Homely out first<br />
1363 >Glasses<br />
1364 >Then Me<br />
1365 >Birthday Vs Blondie<br />
1366 >Insane tower balancing skills<br />
1367 >I don't understand how its not falling down but they're good.<br />
1368 >They get to the sixth set of turns<br />
1369 >Birthday manages to take three pieces and place them ontop, then get another two from the stack she's made<br />
1370 >But she's out of pieces and screws up the last one.<br />
1371 >Blondie wins<br />
1372 >Alright finally time for some serious lewd<br />
1373 >Come on blondie, lets do some justice<br />
1374 >Blondie turns to face Glasses<br />
1375 >"Truth or Dare?"<br />
1376 >Glasses picks Truth<br />
1377 >"Whats the Most perverted thing you've ever done?"<br />
1378 >FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU</p>
1380 <br />
1381 <p>>Don't fucking answer that glasses<br />
1382 >You know better<br />
1383 >God damn if any of them find out i'm so dead<br />
1384 >I decide the best choice of action is a tactical retreat the second she breaks the news<br />
1385 >A tactical retreat down the street<br />
1386 >Glasses doesn't even flinch though<br />
1387 >She just puts on her typical Evil Smile and begins<br />
1388 > ">Sure thing, that's easy!"</p>
1390 <p>>Oh no<br />
1391 > ">It Happened quite recently i guess"<br />
1392 >Every muscle tenses in my body i'm ready to fucking bolt<br />
1393 > ">Well, you guys know that trip i took on an airplane earlier this month?"<br />
1394 >I'm halfway out the door mentally<br />
1395 >Wait what<br />
1396 >I do actually flinch though, glasses definitely sees it.<br />
1397 >If anything she smirks wider<br />
1398 </p>
1400 <p>> ">Well, on the trip there i had a seat all by myself by a window"<br />
1401 > ">Next to this older guy, some family man, had two kids and a wife down the isle"<br />
1402 > ">I was really kind of worked up, i hadn't really been alone all vacation and the book i had was getting kinda intimate and wasn't helping"<br />
1403 > ">I ended up throwing my jacket over my lap and just.... well you know"<br />
1404 > ">Not just once too, i did it twice and i think the guy next to me noticed"<br />
1405 > ">Actually i'm sure he noticed..."</p>
1407 <p>> ">I... think it made it better...."<br />
1408 >She has somehow kept a straight face this entire time<br />
1409 >The girls break out into hoots and giggles when she finishes her story though.<br />
1410 >I've got a kind of stupefied face on, i'm still not sure if i should run or not.<br />
1411 >I'm worried, because she's either lying through her teeth and is an absolutely amazing liar, or that really happened.<br />
1412 >I don't know if thats hot or not<br />
1413 >Not to mention that might be more perverted than sex with me.<br />
1414 >But just the fact that might have been true, or she just came up with it on the spot.<br />
1415 >Glasses is scary<br />
1416 >My male ego was confused.<br />
1417 >I don't know... anons i need clarification is... that more perverted?</p>
1419 <br />
1420 <p>>Fucking glasses<br />
1421 >I did, but still<br />
1422 >Next round is set up<br />
1423 >Its Me vs Blondie vs Glasses in the finals<br />
1424 >Blondie makes it to 4 pulls before she screws one up.<br />
1425 >Next round<br />
1426 >I lose on pull #3<br />
1427 >Fuck, i'm no good at this game.<br />
1428 >Glasses is staring me down, i prepare for the question and mentally decide dare is my best bet.<br />
1429 >"Blondie, Truth or Dare?"<br />
1430 >Oh, payback, got it.<br />
1431 >"I guess i'll go with truth" - Blondie<br />
1432 >"What's the most perverted thing YOU'VE ever done?"<br />
1433 >GLASSES NO</p>
1435 <br />
1436 <p>>WHAT ARE YOU DOING<br />
1437 >I THOUGHT I WAS SAFE<br />
1438 >I'm ready to bolt out the door again<br />
1439 >Glasses is just giving me the most taunting eyes possible.<br />
1440 >Blondie just kind of stares straight forward for a second lost in thought</p>
1442 <p>>Then i realize she's blushing pretty deeply<br />
1443 >she blurts out<br />
1444 >"I meant dare!, dare!"<br />
1445 >Birthday whispers into my ear that she's a fucking cheater.<br />
1446 >I agree, but i'm ok with it.<br />
1447 >Glasses doesn't miss a beat<br />
1448 >"Well you're wearing a bit much, how about losing your shirt?"<br />
1449 >Blondie realizes she's been caught between undressing in-front of me<br />
1450 >Or admitting she was already undressed in front of me.</p>
1452 <br />
1453 <p>>She ends up giving a little "Hmph" and reaching down to her waist and pulling her grey tank top over her head</p>
1455 <p>>Delicious pert and gravity-defying breasts<br />
1456 >Encased in her lovely blue bra from earlier, but still.</p>
1458 <p>>Well like i said, most of blondie's upper body was really elegantly appealing.<br />
1459 >Even without her breasts being exposed there was plenty of delicious eye candy.<br />
1460 >I was formulating plans in my head to kidnap her again and remind myself of this.<br />
1461 >But i had already promised myself no more public shows of attention, so even though i really wanted to stare at her, i reeled it into courteous peeks just like i had been doing with glasses.<br />
1462 >Next round<br />
1463 >Me, Homely, Birthday</p>
1465 <br />
1466 <p>>Birthday loses<br />
1467 >Me vs Homely<br />
1468 >No, must not lose<br />
1469 >3 Blocks<br />
1470 >Nobody down yet<br />
1471 >Four blocks<br />
1472 >Oh no its getting hairy<br />
1473 >Five blocks, homely picks every brick you can possibly move and leaves absolutely nothing for me.<br />
1474 >Fuck<br />
1475 >I try for my first brick<br />
1476 >Tower on the ground in pieces<br />
1477 >Failed so hard the pile actually catches fire ):<br />
1478 >TIME FOR MY RECKONING<br />
1479 >She starts up innocently enough<br />
1480 >"Ohh... i don't know, who should i ask..."<br />
1481 >She's got one finger on her lips, i know she knows who she wants and she's just being suspenseful.</p>
1483 <br />
1484 <p><br />
1485 >She points at me<br />
1486 >"Truth or Dare"</p>
1488 <p>>Oh no<br />
1489 >I weigh the options<br />
1490 >Truth will probably fuck me over<br />
1491 >Dare homely will probably fuck me.<br />
1492 >I'm gonna go with truth, maybe ill do less damage and i can always lie out of all the bad ones.<br />
1493 >"Truth"<br />
1494 >"Alright, i've got a good one for you" -Homely<br />
1495 >"Which girl do you like the most in this room, in a romantic way?"<br />
1496 >FUCK<br />
1497 >All the girls in the room perk up<br />
1498 >NO NO NO NO NO<br />
1499 >THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT SHOULD NOT BE ASKED<br />
1500 >NO PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION OR I GET CASTRATED, I KNOW THE RULES.<br />
1501 >I CAN'T PLAY FAVORITES, I CAN'T<br />
1502 >wait i got this<br />
1503 >"No i'm sorry i said Dare"<br />
1504 </p>
1506 <p>>Phew, i'm saved, there's nothing she can think of thats worse than that.<br />
1507 >She's got no expression change on her face<br />
1508 >"Oh, i misheard you, I've got a perfect dare for you"<br />
1509 >I'm ready for it, give it to me straight boss<br />
1510 >"I dare you to...."<br />
1511 >"...Kiss the girl in this room you're most romantically attracted to"<br />
1512 >NO</p>
1514 <p>>TRUTH AND DARE WITH GIRLS<br />
1515 >NOT EVEN ONCE<br />
1516 >ABANDON ALL HOPE, MAN THE LIFEBOATS<br />
1517 >the captain's going down with this ship ):</p>
1519 <br />
1520 <p>>Im pretty sure that's got to be cheating<br />
1521 >There's a rule against that right?<br />
1522 >I'm looking around hopefully but all the girls are boring me with eye-drills<br />
1523 >Oh god i gotta think about this logically<br />
1524 >Glasses doesn't like me going after Blondie, but i don't know her opinion on Birthday<br />
1525 >Blondie would be crushed if i kiss anyone but her<br />
1526 >Birthday would be crushed if i kiss anyone but her.<br />
1527 >Fuck homely, i don't know what she was thinking but its definitely not her.<br />
1528 >But hurting her feelings is a bad idea too.<br />
1529 >I can't win<br />
1530 >there's no winning<br />
1531 >it's all gone so wrong<br />
1532 >Pls time traveling anons, send help</p>
1534 <br />
1535 <p>>I've got one plan<br />
1536 >DELAY<br />
1537 >"I... it's an important decision, i need time to think"<br />
1538 >I say this with a sincere thoughtful face on<br />
1539 >Atleast i hope its a sincere thoughtful face and not the fear and terror i had on the inside.<br />
1540 >The girls collapse into "Dawws" - Blondie</p>
1542 <p>>and "Of course!" - Birthday<br />
1543 >I figure it's worked</p>
1545 <p>>Of course i know who i would kiss, but they won't know that.<br />
1546 >I'm gonna go the route that doesn't involve suicide caused by multiple homicides on me.<br />
1547 >I stand up and just... walk away<br />
1548 >I think i end up in the kitchen<br />
1549 >I'm not alone though<br />
1550 >I have two followers<br />
1551 >Birthday and Blondie<br />
1552 >They're giving me these looks<br />
1553 >The eyes man, they're just staring at me<br />
1554 </p>
1556 <p>>"You like me more right"<br />
1557 >"You're going to kiss me right?"<br />
1558 >"I'm your irl Waifu aren't i?"<br />
1559 >This is what those eyes were saying<br />
1560 >pls send help<br />
1561 >I book it out of there<br />
1562 >I turn the corner<br />
1563 >turn like six more corners to make sure i've lost them<br />
1564 >i might be doing laps of the living room<br />
1565 >i don't care<br />
1566 >I open the door to the bathroom and step in<br />
1567 >I close and lock the door<br />
1568 >I turn around</p>
1570 <br />
1571 <p>>Homely is standing there with her knees bent<br />
1572 >She's halfway to removing her pants and sitting down to use the loo<br />
1573 >I meet her eyes<br />
1574 >she meets mine<br />
1575 >two seconds pass<br />
1576 >She continues pulling her pants down<br />
1577 >I FLIP A SHIT<br />
1578 >JUMP IN THE AIR, OPEN THE DOOR AND 360 NOSCOPE THE FUCK OUT OF THERE<br />
1579 >Just doing continual moonwalk spins and headshotting people as i exit the bathroom.<br />
1580 >I don't even know where i'm going<br />
1581 >I go around seven corners backwards and have over 15 confirmed kills.<br />
1582 >I just go through a door and lock it.<br />
1583 >I am so done</p>
1585 <br />
1586 <p>>I turn around<br />
1587 >Oh its the guest room<br />
1588 >Raven is still curled up<br />
1589 >I walk over and place my hand on her head again.<br />
1590 >She's got her face scrunched up and is breathing softly.<br />
1591 >Fuck i wish homely hadn't said "This room"<br />
1592 >This would have been easy, i would have led them in here and given raven a kiss on the cheek.<br />
1593 >Considering they know we were best friends and i had just pulled her out of a burning building in the eyes of the group<br />
1594 >it would have been met with a group "Daww" and the dare would have been over.<br />
1595 >Nobody would have been hurt, they wouldn't even be jealous because raven would never know.<br />
1596 >It would be a cute secret crush, instead of an open admittance of love over all the rest.<br />
1597 >BUT NO</p>
1599 <br />
1600 <p>>IF WAR IS WHAT HOMELY WANTS<br />
1601 >THAT'S WHAT SHE'S GOING TO GET<br />
1602 >I get off the bed and walk back to the door, going over the dare in my head.<br />
1603 >I take one look back at raven, walk out and lightly close the door as to not wake her.<br />
1604 >I put on my game face<br />
1605 >I return to the kitchen and find the two medusas staring me down with eyes of petrification.<br />
1606 >I tell them i've made my choice.<br />
1607 >They follow me back to the area we were playing games.<br />
1608 >All of the girls look solemn<br />
1609 >Moment of truth is upon us<br />
1610 >I have them all sit down in a row.<br />
1611 >Im still shirtless mind you, and so is blondie and glasses.<br />
1612 >Homely looks rather embarrassed, i couldn't give a shit.<br />
1613 >She should lock the goddamn door.</p>
1615 <br />
1616 <p>>I tell them that i thought long and hard about my decision</p>
1618 <p>>that the girl i'm going to pick is definitely the one that i would like to be romantically involved in.</p>
1620 <p>>I continue hyping it up like this</p>
1622 <p>>I say that it's the most attractive woman in the room</p>
1624 <p>>The most special</p>
1626 <p>>The most mentally stimulating.</p>
1628 <p>>These girls are in the palm of my hand</p>
1630 <p>>Each one is imagining i've said all these nice things about them</p>
1632 <p>>That i'm going to pick one of them up and romantically sweep them off their feet.</p>
1634 <p>>I've got them all riled into boiling and frothing pots of hormones.</p>
1636 <p>>Time to pick one.</p>
1638 <p>>I kneel down infront of...</p>
1640 <br />
1641 <br />
1642 <p>I think we need to have a vote on which girl i pick. The vote is irrelevant but i'm curious.</p>
1644 <p>Which pokemon should woody capture on his quest to catch them all?</p>
1646 <br />
1647 <p>Votes (From readers at the time, feel free to vote in comments afterwards)<br />
1648 Blondie : 7<br />
1649 Glasses : 8<br />
1650 Homely : 3<br />
1651 Birthday : 1<br />
1652 Raven (not even an option tho) : 5<br />
1653 Other things in the Room: 2 (Household Appliance/ My Hand)</p>
1655 <br />
1656 <br />
1657 <br />
1658 <br />
1659 <p>>Glasses<br />
1660 >I'm quick about it too<br />
1661 >She can't even react as i lean in and press my lips against hers.<br />
1662 >She's almost motionless at first<br />
1663 >She's probably absolutely terrified at what i've just done<br />
1664 >At the fact that i chose her over everyone else there<br />
1665 >I just keep kissing<br />
1666 >She opens up after ten seconds<br />
1667 >I can hear the sounds of every other girl in the room's heart breaking.<br />
1668 >It's gone from just lips, to full french<br />
1669 >She still tastes a bit like whiskey, but its sweet and almost lustful.<br />
1670 >I've got my tongue chasing hers across the valleys of teeth and gums<br />
1671 >We're playing the breath game again<br />
1672 >I breathe out<br />
1673 >She breathes in<br />
1674 >She breathes out<br />
1675 >I breathe in.<br />
1676 >I get lost in her mouth, but i know it's getting time to end it.<br />
1677 >I pull back<br />
1678 >Her eyes are glimmering<br />
1679 >I've never seen her so happy<br />
1680 >Time to break her heart.</p>
1682 <br />
1683 <p>>I pull back and just leap at the next girl down the line.<br />
1684 >Its blondie<br />
1685 >She gives a surprised squeak, but is interrupted by my lips on hers<br />
1686 >Electricity<br />
1687 >We still tumble backwards a bit<br />
1688 >She doesn't seem to know what to do, i just wrap one arm around her lower back and just force her up against my chest<br />
1689 >Her breasts are pressing against me<br />
1690 >Her stomach muscles are fluttering against mine<br />
1691 >She's taking quick and short breaths, she doesn't know how to play the breath game but it's alright.<br />
1692 >It's different.<br />
1693 >She tastes like whisky like glasses, but also somehow Maple syrup still.<br />
1694 >Maybe she just usually tastes like maple syrup.<br />
1695 >Could be secretly canadian<br />
1696 >I'm lapping her up like a thirsty kitten though<br />
1697 >Her tongue doesn't know what to do, but eventually we fall back into the rhythm we had earlier in the closet.<br />
1698 >Its close, less intimate than glasses and I ,but its different, her body is different, her taste is different.<br />
1699 >She's giving little gaspy breaths all of a sudden.<br />
1700 >I realize i'm running my hand over her stomach and tickling her.<br />
1701 >oops<br />
1702 >i keep doing it. <br />
1703 >about a minute and a half into the kiss i pull away.<br />
1704 </p>
1706 <p>>On to the next victim<br />
1707 >Homely happens to be next down the line<br />
1708 >WELL HERE WE GO<br />
1709 >SUBMARINE READY<br />
1710 >WE'RE DIVING CAPTAIN<br />
1711 >My lips contact hers<br />
1712 >She's just as surprised as blondie was<br />
1713 >I guess she really wasn't expecting to be chosen at all.<br />
1714 >She's just lips gums and teeth though<br />
1715 >I don't know why she doesn't realize it but opening your mouth is a thing you do when you're kissing<br />
1716 >She probably hasn't been kissed many times<br />
1717 >Poor homely<br />
1718 >Still though, the kiss is awful<br />
1719 >She tastes like coke and white bread<br />
1720 >Not the most appealing flavor<br />
1721 >I try my best to teach her to open up, but its no use<br />
1722 >After a minute and a half i just pull away<br />
1723 >I'm dead on the inside<br />
1724 >But she seems happy<br />
1725 >Whatever</p>
1727 <br />
1728 <p>>Last but not least<br />
1729 >She's sitting kinda far away<br />
1730 >I do a flying leap at Birthday<br />
1731 >I manage to tackle her to the ground in a way that doesn't injure either of us<br />
1732 >Lips connect<br />
1733 >She's hot, her skin is burning compared to mine<br />
1734 >She also doesn't know how to kiss, but she's far better than homely<br />
1735 >Salty, tad sour, her tongue seems to be the most flavorful part<br />
1736 >She's not very good with her mouth or her lungs, but she's all over me with her hands<br />
1737 >I get hands on my back, she squeezes my butt, she's pressing herself into me<br />
1738 >Without a doubt she's the most physical of the four<br />
1739 >She's even grinding against me and letting out soft moans<br />
1740 >I'm kind of embarrassed<br />
1741 >But i do my deed and cop a feel of her breasts anyway<br />
1742 >I make sure to use my left hand, so the group can't really see what i'm doing since she's at the end of the line.<br />
1743 >But i definitely get a nice hard grasp and a rub of her breast.<br />
1744 >Glorious<br />
1745 >Somehow she gets one of her legs around mine and pulls me upwards a little<br />
1746 >Ohmygod<br />
1747 >My hardened crotch brushes hers<br />
1748 >This is like the best shifting weight sensation ever<br />
1749 >Fucking amazing.<br />
1750 >She does it three more times as we continue kissing<br />
1751 >Eventually i have to pull back</p>
1753 <p>>My little friend tries to stay, but he's attached to the rest of me.<br />
1754 > ):</p>
1756 <br />
1757 <p>>I move backwards into a sitting position<br />
1758 >I'm completely out of breath, for very good reason</p>
1760 <p>>I lean back mulling over the various kisses and the ups and downs.<br />
1761 >All the girls are looking at me with various confused (homely), amazed(glasses), angry(blondie), or just turned on(birthday) faces.<br />
1762 >I'm categorizing the kisses in my head<br />
1763 >Glasses had the best kissing technique by far<br />
1764 >Blondie was the most exotic.<br />
1765 >Homely was the worst kiss.<br />
1766 >Birthday was the most physical.<br />
1767 >I'm kind of silently wishing raven were here so i could try hers too<br />
1768 >But i take that back pretty quick, i'd want no part of her if she was awake now.<br />
1769 >It's really no contest who was the most fun to kiss though.</p>
1771 <br />
1772 <p>>I stand up<br />
1773 >I put on my best shit-eating-grin<br />
1774 >My voice is full of nothing but true glee as i announce<br />
1775 >"I've fulfilled Homely's dare of kissing the one woman in the room i would most like to be romantically involved with"<br />
1776 >"The rest of you just let me kiss you, who would have thought it was that easy"<br />
1777 >This is the part where i start running<br />
1778 >I yell behind me "I'LL NEVER FORGET ANY OF THEM"<br />
1779 >I'm dodging pillows and half the jenga set flies by my face<br />
1780 >I'm writing this as i'm locked in the bathroom<br />
1781 >There's loud banging and i think they've got a battering ram.<br />
1782 >Time traveling anons pls send help.<br />
1783 </p>
1785 <p><br />
1786 That's where i stop tonight anons, i need to wait for the time travelers to send help anyway.<br />
1787 </p>
1789 <br />
1790 <h1 dir="ltr" >Update #8 : April 10th</h1>
1792 <p><a href="http://archive.heinessen.com/r9k/thread/11285082" >http://archive.heinessen.com/r9k/thread/11285082</a></p>
1794 <br />
1795 <br />
1796 <p>>When we left off i was locked in the bathroom with angry women possibly beating down the door<br />
1797 >No time traveling anons came to my rescue<br />
1798 >Jerks<br />
1799 >I had to solve this one on my own at the time.<br />
1800 >I was in a pretty great mood though, since i had just made out with every currently conscious girl in the house, in a span of 10 minutes.<br />
1801 >Of course the banging and yelling outside the bathroom wasn't helping my mood<br />
1802 >"Come out so we can castrate you" - Blondie<br />
1803 >This was accompanied by hurried agreements and more banging.<br />
1804 >There goes my thoughtful assassin thinking ahead as always.</p>
1806 <p>>Far as i saw it, they weren't actually too angry.<br />
1807 >[spoiler]Women especially, tend to pull this very often compared to men, where they'll get Angry, or overreact to a subject that they aren't actually as emotionally vested towards as they make out to be[/spoiler]<br />
1808 >[spoiler]This seems to be for partially entertainment reasons, and partially because faking strong emotions gives you control over the situation[/spoiler]<br />
1809 >[spoiler] Manipulation and Advantages in future situations really[/spoiler]<br />
1810 >[spoiler] This isn't rare among men either, but men are usually being complete faggots about it when they do.[/spoiler]<br />
1811 >[spoiler] Oh right, i guess the women are being complete faggots too[/spoiler]<br />
1812 >But they were angry enough that hiding in the bathroom was a valid option<br />
1813 >so i guess they were winning.</p>
1815 <br />
1816 <p>>As far as i was concerned though i had them right where i wanted them<br />
1817 >Each one was now playing the words i had sung to them earlier over and over in their own head.</p>
1819 <p>>About being the cutest, most intelligent, most beautiful, the most desirable in the room.<br />
1820 >Each girl had the vain hope that it was them i was talking about.<br />
1821 >Each girl was probably replaying the kisses over and over along with those words too.<br />
1822 >I'm no casanova, but i mean i tried to not make the kisses awful.<br />
1823 >I know i was playing my favorite in my head at least.<br />
1824 >[spoiler]I'll give you a hint, it wasn't homely[/spoiler]<br />
1825 >However i had other things to do than reminisce about my past<br />
1826 >Time to defuse this situation.</p>
1828 <br />
1829 <p>>I walked up to the bathroom door and pressed my head against it facing the door crack.<br />
1830 >I wanted them to be able to hear my clearly<br />
1831 >They were still shouting various angry things and banging on the door though<br />
1832 >"WhO WAS IT?" - Homely<br />
1833 >"You Tasted like all the other girls, i want a rematch!" - Birthday<br />
1834 >The vibrations of the banging resonated through the door and were giving me a cheek massage.<br />
1835 >I think i was enjoying this.<br />
1836 >"He's probably jacking off" - Glasses<br />
1837 >I spit my drink all over myself at this comment<br />
1838 >except i don't have any drinks and i'm up against the door, but i mean that's the reaction anyway.<br />
1839 >The girls on the other side of the door devolve into hooting, giggling and more banging.<br />
1840 >"Open up! Let us see!" Squeaks an exasperated Birthday.<br />
1841 >"He's embarrassed now, we should let him finish" - Blondie in a taunting singsong voice.<br />
1842 >Blondie's spirits are way higher than i would have thought, i thought i crushed her a bit too hard when i kissed glasses first.<br />
1843 >She probably couldn't be anything but happy when i went straight to her second.<br />
1844 >"He probably needs help" - Glasses<br />
1845 >Yes pls<br />
1846 >"I bet its small that's why" <br />
1847 >A chorus of giggling and snickering ensue from Blondie/Birthday/Homely instantly.<br />
1848 >I don't even need to tell you who said this<br />
1849 >BUT FUCK YOU TOO HOMELY<br />
1850 </p>
1852 <p>>Glasses has done wonderfully though<br />
1853 >She successfully changed the situation from "CASTRATE HIM" anger.<br />
1854 >To sexual humiliation and teasing</p>
1856 <p>>Glasses is such a bro<br />
1857 >You might not think so</p>
1859 <p>>But I can work with this<br />
1860 >It's almost safe to come out<br />
1861 >I speak as clearly through the door as i can<br />
1862 >"Stop" , i say it softly but loud enough that they can hear it.<br />
1863 >One word, but the banging stops and they listen for the rest.<br />
1864 >I put on a completely Somber tone, trying to interject the tiniest hint of emotional sorrow into what i say next.<br />
1865 >"You guys will wake Raven"<br />
1866 >Silence from the other side of the door<br />
1867 >I continue<br />
1868 >"One of you go check on her would you..."<br />
1869 >Complete silence on the other side of the door<br />
1870 >Eventually i hear footsteps leaving<br />
1871 >My plan has worked perfectly.</p>
1873 <br />
1874 <p>>Firstly i've interjected guilt into the mix, they realize they were being really loud and feel guilty about it.<br />
1875 >I honestly couldn't give a shit about waking raven, and i really doubt they would have woken her.<br />
1876 >But they don't know that.<br />
1877 >This throws them just a bit off balance<br />
1878 >Just enough for me to ask for one of them to leave<br />
1879 >I've changed the odds<br />
1880 >its 3v1 now, i can take this.<br />
1881 >I speak again through the door<br />
1882 >"I'm coming out"<br />
1883 >Still silence<br />
1884 >I unlock the door<br />
1885 >Its not instantly shoved down and i'm not on the floor<br />
1886 >I consider this a victory<br />
1887 >Gotta take em when i can get em.<br />
1888 >I know i gotta keep the victories coming though<br />
1889 >I crouch down and start charging<br />
1890 >FAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL<br />
1891 >I open the door when i'm half charged.<br />
1892 >First target is blondie, perfect.</p>
1894 <br />
1895 <p>>She gets hit hard in the stomach with the Force of a thousand screeching fal"CON"s that accompany my "PUNCH"<br />
1896 >Homely and Birthday are the only two left.<br />
1897 >It's still dawning on them that i'm out of the bathroom<br />
1898 >They don't understand yet<br />
1899 >I still have the advantage<br />
1900 >I give Homely an ol Sagat tiger knee to the stomach<br />
1901 >She doesn't even block<br />
1902 >Her feet even leave the ground for a moment<br />
1903 >She's down<br />
1904 >Birthday Vs Me now<br />
1905 >But she's onto my plan<br />
1906 >I try to catch her off guard with a generic Karate chop to the right shoulder.<br />
1907 >I know that if i can disable one arm i can win.<br />
1908 >She dodges to the left and i'm left open.<br />
1909 >She hits me with some god damn lightning legs like chun li<br />
1910 >I guess she doesn't need her arms<br />
1911 >Atleast 10 hits before i fall backwards.<br />
1912 >I'm on the ground clutching my stomach<br />
1913 >She moves over to gloat, hand on her hips<br />
1914 >I was just pretending<br />
1915 >DRAGON UPPERCUT<br />
1916 >She's in the air<br />
1917 >She's on the floor<br />
1918 >I win.</p>
1920 <br />
1921 <p>>I walk in victory to the living room<br />
1922 >The girls follow me<br />
1923 >Blondie has her hands on her hips in characteristic "You have some splainin to do mister" style<br />
1924 >Birthday and Homely mimic her in seconds.<br />
1925 >I try to avoid them and sit on the couch<br />
1926 >Homely stops me<br />
1927 >"Oh no you aint goin nowhere"<br />
1928 >She even matches this with her hand going in that "Z" motion and snapping her finger at every corner<br />
1929 >They surround me<br />
1930 >Birthday places her hand on my chest for a tantalizing second before shoving me down onto the armchair.<br />
1931 >They're all towering over me, hands on hips.<br />
1932 >I'm being glared at from all directions.<br />
1933 >This is when i realize all of the women were black.</p>
1935 <br />
1936 <p>>And Blue with jealousy<br />
1937 >[spoiler] Back in 2005, black culture was pretty cool-ish among white kids[/spoiler]</p>
1939 <p>>[spoiler]It was ever present in media, and of course you just kinda picked up silly things and did them sometimes[/spoiler]<br />
1940 >[spoiler] This isn't racist, fuck you, it was fun[/spoiler]<br />
1941 >[spoiler] white culture is never cool anyway ): [/spoiler]<br />
1942 >They were demanding answers though<br />
1943 >Glasses shows up as well, she just plops down on the right arm of the chair and accompanies the staring contest.<br />
1944 >I'm considering staring back, but picking one girl to look at might give away hints i can't afford to be giving.</p>
1946 <br />
1947 <br />
1948 <p>>I'm trying to think ways out of this, i already laid most of my webbing before i started kissing.<br />
1949 >I guess i have an escape route or two<br />
1950 >I test one of the webs<br />
1951 >"Well, I just thought that the girl would know is all."<br />
1952 >Expressions soften all around, i've now got four sets of cute puppy/kitty cat eyes glimmering at me.<br />
1953 >God damn adorable, i've got this<br />
1954 >They'll all shut up and think its themselves.<br />
1955 >I continue<br />
1956 >"I tried to make the kiss between us Special..."<br />
1957 >All the kisses were "Special"<br />
1958 >I had kissed all the girls differently, even if they compared they could argue about it for hours.<br />
1959 >This plan was flawless, i just had to walk away.</p>
1961 <p>>a soft voice breaks out over all the others.<br />
1962 >"I knew it was me"<br />
1963 >NO</p>
1965 <br />
1966 <p>>YOU IDIOT<br />
1967 >BLONDIE YOU FUCKING IDIOT<br />
1968 >ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS NOT SAY ANYTHING<br />
1969 >She's got a smirk on the size of kansas though<br />
1970 >She knows exactly what she's done<br />
1971 >She's killed me<br />
1972 >Her mission was complete<br />
1973 >This is it folks, my dismembered limbs are carried in a parade through the city.<br />
1974 >My head on a golden plate<br />
1975 >The girls break into TURBO BICKERING<br />
1976 >"He liked ME the most" - Homely<br />
1977 >I'm trying to sneak away<br />
1978 >"No of course he DIDN'T, i had Butterflies in my stomach when he kissed me!" - Blondie<br />
1979 >I've gotten on my hands and knees, i've started scaling the left arm of the chair<br />
1980 >"Well he groped my breasts, he didn't do that to you did he?" - Birthday<br />
1981 >I'm halfway to freedom when i feel a hand in the waistband of my pants<br />
1982 >"HE WHAT" -Blondie and Homely together<br />
1983 >I turn back and look<br />
1984 >Its glasses, she's got a brimming evil smile on again.</p>
1986 <p>>She does enjoy seeing me suffer<br />
1987 >"Yeah, i was grinding against him like the entireee time." - Birthday<br />
1988 >She's got her hand firmly down the back of my sweatpants though, i'm not escaping.<br />
1989 <br />
1990 >"Well i didn't have a shirt on, his chest was fully pressed against mine" -Blondie<br />
1991 >She's like squirming with glee at this statement<br />
1992 >I guess it was really good for her.<br />
1993 >"And his hands were all over my stomach, it was so hot!" - Blondie<br />
1994 >Her voice is like a flittering songbird singing out to a mate.<br />
1995 >I don't know how she does that, but her excited voice is something to behold.<br />
1996 >Well it was excited until Birthday points out that Glasses got the same treatment.<br />
1997 >"She's right, but i didn't tickle glasses"<br />
1998 >I don't say this though<br />
1999 >That would be really stupid.<br />
2000 >But i was really confused when everyone was looking at me<br />
2001 >OH NO THAT WAS IN QUOTATION MARKS WASN'T IT<br />
2002 >im so sorry past self ):</p>
2004 <br />
2005 <p>>Nobody is talking<br />
2006 >Everyone is looking at me<br />
2007 >Blondie's not looking at me though<br />
2008 >She's looking through me and saluting the american flag with her freedom face on.<br />
2009 >Head held high, right hand over her breast.<br />
2010 >She knows she's temporarily won the war.<br />
2011 >"I guess shirtless kisses really are better huh?"<br />
2012 >Birthday says this with a defeated sound in her voice<br />
2013 >I actually felt a little bad<br />
2014 >I did get quite a bit more actual skin contact with Blondie and Glasses than i did her.<br />
2015 >Although i would have probably exploded in my pants if she had been able to get any more physical with that kiss.<br />
2016 >Homely suggests Herself/Birthday get a Re-Do with shirts off.<br />
2017 >This sounds like a great plan at first<br />
2018 >I'm nodding on the inside.</p>
2020 <br />
2021 <p>>Wait a second<br />
2022 >My eyes narrow<br />
2023 >I realize its a clever homely trap<br />
2024 >She's the only girl that's not wearing a bra<br />
2025 >I would have to kiss her topless<br />
2026 >I contemplate asking glasses if i can borrow her bra<br />
2027 >[spoiler]To wear myself as protection.[/spoiler]<br />
2028 >then i realize there's just a better plan<br />
2029 >I relax back into my seat<br />
2030 >Glasses doesn't remove her hand though<br />
2031 >Its still down the back of my pants -.-<br />
2032 >I shift over and whisper into glasses' ear<br />
2033 >"Homely doesn't have a bra on, would be... unfair"<br />
2034 >Her hand is probably very visible down the back of my pants<br />
2035 >I don't want to look at all the women but i can feel the heat of eye lasers.<br />
2036 >Glasses doesn't say anything, she just gets up and removes her hand.<br />
2037 >She roams over around the group of people and scoops up homely's arm and leads her away</p>
2039 <br />
2040 <br />
2041 <p>YOU HAVE BEEN MUTED FOR 17 MINUTES 16 SECONDS BECAUSE YOUR COMMENT WAS NOT ORIGINAL<br />
2042 <br />
2043 -More posting at 10:56 I guess Ima go make a sammich<br />
2044 <br />
2045 >Phew<br />
2046 >Safety assured<br />
2047 >I inform birthday she's going to need to calm her tits<br />
2048 >I get the statement out just in time because she's trying to undress right there<br />
2049 >She's dying to kiss me with her shirt off<br />
2050 >Blondie has a sadder look on her face than she did earlier<br />
2051 >"But... it's not fair if they get to kiss again"<br />
2052 >Daww blondie wants another kiss too<br />
2053 >I'm sure glasses would feel left out if she didn't get a kiss too.<br />
2054 >I'm not actually sure how i want to handle this.<br />
2055 >On one hand i want all the girls shirtless<br />
2056 >y... yeah even homely a tiny bit<br />
2057 >[spoiler] don't hate me[/spoiler]<br />
2058 >On the other hand i know that kissing them isn't going to actually help at all<br />
2059 >It might seem fair on the outside but they will just harshly judge every single move i make<br />
2060 >I would have to kiss all of them the exact same.<br />
2061 >I don't know if i could even do that, or resist not making each one different.<br />
2062 >I would have to tie myself up or somethi...<br />
2063 >*sigh*<br />
2064 >Well it'll work i guess</p>
2066 <br />
2067 <p>>But fuck tying myself up<br />
2068 >I would be dead in mere seconds<br />
2069 >I inform Blondie and Birthday of my plan.<br />
2070 >Blondie hates it<br />
2071 >Birthday is grinning evilly<br />
2072 >I guess that means its a good plan<br />
2073 >we're waiting for Glasses and Homely to come back<br />
2074 >Blondie complains to me the entire time<br />
2075 >She really hates the plan<br />
2076 >This is really cute</p>
2078 <br />
2079 <p>>Glasses and Homely return<br />
2080 >The prodigal sons from another land<br />
2081 >Homely looks pretty proud of herself<br />
2082 >I would be worried but i'm still mulling over my plan in my head<br />
2083 >It pretty much backfires if even one girl disagrees<br />
2084 >Plus it would ruin the mood if that happens<br />
2085 >I'm trying to revise the rules in my head so that i wont end up hated by everyone.<br />
2086 >Birthday doesn't give me a chance<br />
2087 >"He's decided we're going to kiss him"<br />
2088 >t... thanks Birthday<br />
2089 >"We're going to hold his arms behind him too!"<br />
2090 >Wait a second birthday i was going to just hold my arms behi<br />
2091 >"Ooh, that means we can do whatever we want huh?" - Glasses<br />
2092 >It's like she knows just what to say to egg the group on every time.<br />
2093 >Everyone's swooning, even me<br />
2094 >I don't know if i want to deal with this</p>
2096 <br />
2097 <p>>I guess it's not THAT bad<br />
2098 >The girls establish a timing system and everything with me just sitting there pondering the glorious events that were about to unfold.<br />
2099 >Alright girls, lay it on me, how many minutes<br />
2100 >"Three minutes each"<br />
2101 >Eep that's double the time i spent with each of them before<br />
2102 >"No hands under clothes, anything else is fair game"<br />
2103 >Oh man this is a dream come true<br />
2104 >Picture perfect anime events unfolding<br />
2105 >I'm so ready for this<br />
2106 >Beyond so ready for this<br />
2107 >My mind is racing as i examine each of the women<br />
2108 >I know birthday is probably going to dry hump me to death, but Glasses and Blondie are complete Mysteries<br />
2109 >And homely... well i can close my eyes and pretend it's someone else i guess.</p>
2111 <br />
2112 <p>>Speaking of homely<br />
2113 >"Aren't we forgetting something?"<br />
2114 >She reminds us that the shirtless part of the kissing game was still a thing.<br />
2115 >Ohmanohman everyone's gonna be in bra's<br />
2116 >I'm sitting up in my chair<br />
2117 >Probably wagging my tail and i have my tongue hanging out like a dog.<br />
2118 >Birthday catches my eyes<br />
2119 >Gives me a little wink<br />
2120 >She starts first<br />
2121 >She doesn't just undress, she kneels down and is on her knees at the base of the chair<br />
2122 >This puts her more or less at the same height as me eye-wise<br />
2123 >Eye contact<br />
2124 >It doesn't break, i don't even look downwards as she lowers her arms and raises her shirt up<br />
2125 >The eye contact breaks as the shirt passes her head<br />
2126 >I look down<br />
2127 >Glorious golden-bra encased breasts.<br />
2128 >Always good<br />
2129 >She gives her upper torso a firm jiggle back and forth for my amusement before standing back up.<br />
2130 >Awesome.</p>
2132 <br />
2133 <p>>Homely up next<br />
2134 >Glasses gives me a wink this time<br />
2135 >what the fuck<br />
2136 >I don't understand, but homely steps infront of the chair<br />
2137 >All the girls are obviously curious as to what she's wearing<br />
2138 >Homely doesn't want to pull off her shirt directly though<br />
2139 >I guess she's embarrassed<br />
2140 >She turns her back to me<br />
2141 >I watch as she pulls up the front of her shirt, nothing is visible but she seems to pause when it's above her breasts<br />
2142 >I can see fabric encasing them, so i might be safe.<br />
2143 >The girls however are giving out Gasps and "Oohs"<br />
2144 >I'm a tad worried.<br />
2145 >She turns around<br />
2146 >She's wearing a lacy brassiere, something you would see in a pin up magazine<br />
2147 >It looks hilarious<br />
2148 >I haven't seen one of those ever in real life before<br />
2149 >It must have been Birthday's moms or something.<br />
2150 >I laugh</p>
2152 <br />
2153 <p>>I manage to hold most of it in though, i just get off a ha or two.<br />
2154 >WRONG MOVE<br />
2155 >Homely has the shirt down over her chest in a flash.<br />
2156 >She just yells out "JERK" and stomps away<br />
2157 >The other girls are just staring at me<br />
2158 >They're angry<br />
2159 >I've fucked up<br />
2160 >I've really fucked up</p>
2162 <p>>I've got to run<br />
2163 >I just had a girl take off her shirt to show me something she thought was "Sexy" and i laughed<br />
2164 >Oh god anons never ever ever laugh at things attached to females.<br />
2165 >Never ever ever</p>
2167 <br />
2168 <p>>I'm off the side of the armchair in a flash<br />
2169 >Glasses can't even grab at me this time<br />
2170 >I hit the ground flat and start trying to roll away.<br />
2171 >They can smell my fear<br />
2172 >What was once a disorganized group of females fighting between one another<br />
2173 >Is now an organized pack hunting machine<br />
2174 >They're flocking like a murderous murder of murdering crows.<br />
2175 >I'm tactically rolling away<br />
2176 >One of them gets my leg<br />
2177 >I'm clawing at the carpet<br />
2178 >the last thing i see is blondie coming at me with a pillow.<br />
2179 >I knew it would end this way...</p>
2181 <br />
2182 <p>>Well that's the last thing i see before i kick off whoever has my leg and bolt out of there.<br />
2183 >Back around the corner<br />
2184 >Through the Kitchen<br />
2185 >Bathroom again<br />
2186 >Lock the door<br />
2187 >They're banging on it again<br />
2188 >Probably two battering rams<br />
2189 >Time traveling anons pls send help<br />
2190 >Well actually don't<br />
2191 >I yell out past the door<br />
2192 >"QUIET DOWN, I'M TAKIN A PISS"<br />
2193 >They don't quiet down.<br />
2194 >Pls don't send help though, it'd be embarrassing</p>
2196 <br />
2197 <p>>I finish up, wash my hands, ect.<br />
2198 >unlock the door and walk out again<br />
2199 >I get battered with various pillows and punched in the arms a couple of times.<br />
2200 >Homely is back, with her shirt on and an obvious hurt look on her face.<br />
2201 >She doesn't seem to be emotionally traumatized though<br />
2202 >My experiences in dealing with raven seem to be non-indicative of what actual girls think.<br />
2203 >She's not giving me a chance to recover though, she personally punches me hard in the shoulder<br />
2204 >I take it like a man<br />
2205 >Which means i wince and grab it with my other arm because it actually hurt.<br />
2206 >I don't ever understand why we grab things that hurt, but i did.<br />
2207 >She's not too mad though, i should probably be worried<br />
2208 >Homely walks up to me<br />
2209 >I back up<br />
2210 >She follows<br />
2211 >She's got some look on her face i can't read at all<br />
2212 >It's probably because i spend absolutely no time reading her face<br />
2213 </p>
2215 <p>>She's actually forcing me against the wall again now<br />
2216 >Her clothed breasts are pressing against me and i realize she's back to not wearing any bra at all.<br />
2217 >They're lovely and soft though<br />
2218 >I can feel them change shape as she presses harder and harder against me.<br />
2219 >She makes like she's going to kiss me<br />
2220 >She brings her face actual inches in front of mine<br />
2221 >Her eyes are sultry, like she's been craving a delicious piece of cake all day and she's going to bite into it.<br />
2222 >Her lips are full, soft... round<br />
2223 >They're so tantalizing<br />
2224 >Would you blame me if i tried to lean forward right now and connect?</p>
2226 <br />
2227 <p>>Well i do try<br />
2228 >Except she's got her hands on my shoulders<br />
2229 >I can't move<br />
2230 >i've been tricked<br />
2231 >This movement on my end seems to be exaclty what she was waiting for<br />
2232 >She breaks off her advance<br />
2233 >Moves back<br />
2234 >Her eyes break contact when she gets a foot away from me<br />
2235 >She almost instantly turns around and squeals "You see!"<br />
2236 >"I told you it was me!"<br />
2237 >Hey wait a second that's not how it wor-<br />
2238 >"Plus he likes these better like this"<br />
2239 >She's got both her hands on her breasts and jiggling them up and down individually<br />
2240 >The other girls are looking on in shame</p>
2242 <br />
2243 <p>>Blondie looks like she's taking it the worst<br />
2244 >Glasses knows this is probably her fault.<br />
2245 >It is her fault so fuck her for the time being<br />
2246 >Stupid sexy homely<br />
2247 >Birthday is actually looking worried<br />
2248 >Homely infringing upon her territory<br />
2249 >Again<br />
2250 >I guess homely saw birthday as the main threat in competition.<br />
2251 >She was trying to do the birthday thing and go full aggressive.<br />
2252 >This makes sense why they've been directly competing this entire time<br />
2253 >Homely's not playing this straight though<br />
2254 >She backs up<br />
2255 >Wiggles her upper torso and exclaims<br />
2256 >"Well maybe you'd like them better like this!"<br />
2257 >In one sweeping motion she's got her shirt over her head.</p>
2259 <br />
2260 <p>>Oh lord<br />
2261 >They're definitely Ds<br />
2262 >Both of them aren't very firm, but not droopy either.<br />
2263 >Just well rounded with a little bit of hang<br />
2264 >My male brain has the instant desire to "support" them.<br />
2265 >The center of each has good half-dollar sized circles of red flesh, topped with a lovely nipple.<br />
2266 >I'm now in full automatic<br />
2267 >Male brain kicking in<br />
2268 >I'm not thinking straight at all, i mean...<br />
2269 >tits<br />
2270 >She's still got her plan in motion though<br />
2271 >She's close to me again<br />
2272 >She's actually up against me<br />
2273 >I can feel both of her breasts pressing against me<br />
2274 >[spoiler]Breasts when they press against you end up all over the place, it's really not symmetrical[/spoiler]<br />
2275 >Her nipples are just the tiniest bit hard<br />
2276 >It's really not hard to tell where they're pressing against me<br />
2277 >She's back at kissing distance<br />
2278 >One tantalizing second, i look up from her lips at her eyes.</p>
2280 <br />
2281 <p>>And she's off of me<br />
2282 >No kiss<br />
2283 > ):<br />
2284 >Wait a second did i actually want homely to kiss me<br />
2285 >I'm so confused<br />
2286 >my Boner is so confused<br />
2287 >Multiple other body parts are confused as well<br />
2288 >My hands are still hovering where i would be holding her<br />
2289 >My crotch is still leaning forward slightly anticipating the kiss<br />
2290 >I'm still making kissing lips<br />
2291 >She's not though<br />
2292 >She's facing me from across the hallway and has nothing but a look of contempt on her face<br />
2293 >"What, you wanted a kiss? Too bad. J-E-R-K"<br />
2294 >She enunciates every syllable with a scowl<br />
2295 >With that she turns away, taking her breasts with her and waltzes down the hallway whistling and swinging her top in one hand.<br />
2296 >Holyshitpaybacklikeasackofbrickstotheface<br />
2297 >Homely wins this round</p>
2299 <br />
2300 <p>>I'm still standing there<br />
2301 >Dumb as balls expression on my face<br />
2302 >Blondie is first to act, she walks up and Slaps me<br />
2303 >It's not really a slap though, she like takes her hand and brings it up against my right cheek, hits it rather softly.<br />
2304 >"Idiot", she whispers as she draws her hand across the front of my face and walks down the hallway<br />
2305 >Glasses is generally amused, i get a curt "You deserved it" as she walks off in the same direction as blondie.<br />
2306 >I resist the urge to yell "FUCK YOU TOO GLASSES" down the hallway.<br />
2307 >Birthday is still standing there with her eyes turned downcast<br />
2308 >I'm about to ask what's wrong right as she looks up at me<br />
2309 >There's a look of rabid determination in her eyes<br />
2310 >each muscle around her eyes are scrunched up<br />
2311 >her mouth is prim and an absolute straight line.</p>
2313 <br />
2314 <p>>I'm formulating apologies in my head<br />
2315 >I've hurt her badly, or she's got my murder planned<br />
2316 >Is she jealous<br />
2317 >Is she angry<br />
2318 >I can't tell<br />
2319 >I don't need to tell<br />
2320 >I see her bite her lip for just a second.<br />
2321 >She's suddenly in the air<br />
2322 >She tackles me against the wall<br />
2323 >I don't hit my head somehow<br />
2324 >I realize she's put her hand behind my head so it hits the wall and softens the blow to not hurt<br />
2325 >I'm going to have to remember that trick for later<br />
2326 >But my learning is interrupted by her hot lips upon mine<br />
2327 >No foreplay, all tongue<br />
2328 >Same flavor as before, but lighter<br />
2329 >I'm not complaining</p>
2331 <br />
2332 <p>>She's trying her hardest to press me against the wall as much as possible<br />
2333 >She has one arm behind my lower back, and another behind my head<br />
2334 >She's got both of her breasts pressed against me<br />
2335 >Actually so much pressure they're spilling upwards out of her bra.<br />
2336 >I realize my hands are still outstretched in the "Trying to kiss homely" Position.<br />
2337 >I rectify that and place them on her back<br />
2338 >The warm, bare flesh of her lower back.<br />
2339 >She seems to have other plans though<br />
2340 >She pulls back<br />
2341 >And shoves me through the bathroom door backwards<br />
2342 >I manage four surprised steps backwards before i stumble and land on my behind<br />
2343 >It's far enough though, she's in the bathroom with me<br />
2344 >the door is closed<br />
2345 >the door is locked<br />
2346 >She gives me a sultry smile<br />
2347 >"That's better"<br />
2348 >Those words are purred like a content lioness.</p>
2350 <br />
2351 <p>>Her hands reach behind her<br />
2352 >I can tell what she's doing<br />
2353 >It's obvious what she's doing<br />
2354 >But i'm still looking at her face<br />
2355 >something's wrong<br />
2356 >It's her eyes<br />
2357 >She's purring like a lioness, but her eyes<br />
2358 >They're saying nothing of the sort<br />
2359 >They're like a lost little kitten<br />
2360 >They're screaming "Accept me"<br />
2361 >Her hands finish, the Bra goes slack.<br />
2362 >I watch in slow-motion as she hunches her shoulders forwards and the entire thing just slides off.<br />
2363 >Her words and actions scream confidence.<br />
2364 >But she's still holding the Bra in both hands where it fell<br />
2365 >It's almost defensive<br />
2366 >Her body language screams embarrassment, with the tiniest bit of fear<br />
2367 >I think she's scared i'll reject her</p>
2369 <br />
2370 <p>>Valid fears for anyone in that situation i guess.<br />
2371 >I'm still on my butt on the ground looking up.<br />
2372 >There's tits<br />
2373 >I'm looking<br />
2374 >Smaller than homely's, Large Cs<br />
2375 >Her areola and nipples are smaller too, just enough to notice a difference.<br />
2376 >But instead of red, they're light pink.<br />
2377 >She's absolutely ravishing, i'm not sure where to look because the entire package is so enticing.<br />
2378 >She's standing with her arms still held forward and together by holding the bra, one leg slightly ahead of the other under her long skirt.<br />
2379 >To top it off the expression in her eyes has leaked slightly and her face is backing it up.<br />
2380 >The position itself is rival to some of the best modeling you'll ever see. The emotions passing it far beyond anything comparable.<br />
2381 >I don't get to stare very long though<br />
2382 >She takes a step forward, and blurts out<br />
2383 >"Tell me i'm better!"<br />
2384 >It's definitely not confident, its like a desperate plea</p>
2386 <br />
2387 <p>>I'm of course more than happy to blurt out<br />
2388 >"Yes you're be-"<br />
2389 >But i'm interrupted by being pounced again and kissed<br />
2390 >I'm not knocked backwards though<br />
2391 >She lightly forces more and more of her weight against me until i slowly reel backwards and lie down<br />
2392 >I've got her full chest against mine<br />
2393 >and her Nipples were VERY hard.<br />
2394 >Almost painful hard<br />
2395 >But psychologically the feel of nipples pressing against you is awesome.<br />
2396 >I didn't get any victory music though,<br />
2397 >I'm too busy being kissed<br />
2398 >She's got me pinned against the floor<br />
2399 >One of her legs is snaked around mine<br />
2400 >That feels god damn amazing by the way.<br />
2401 >I can't move<br />
2402 >I don't want to move<br />
2403 >Well i guess i can move my hands<br />
2404 >I take advantage of his and wrap one around and place it on her lower back<br />
2405 >But i have TWO hands<br />
2406 >I take the chance and place my other right on her right buttcheek<br />
2407 >She doesn't seem to notice, or if she does she doesn't care<br />
2408 >Hell yeah</p>
2410 <br />
2411 <p>>She's moving her entire body against me<br />
2412 >She's got one of her legs folded up underneath her<br />
2413 >This puts her knee right against my crotch.<br />
2414 >Not in a painful way though, it's like its there just to provide the right amount of pressure and friction<br />
2415 >Her breasts are rubbing up and down ever so slightly every time she applies pressure with her knee.<br />
2416 >Her kiss is involving our entire faces now<br />
2417 >We have our mouths wide open, chasing down one another like we're trying to eat the other participant<br />
2418 >Each time we catch the other, it just ends in a stalemate as we go back to tongue play.<br />
2419 >I'm not sure this is how kisses work, huge slobbery messes, but it's actually pretty fucking fun.</p>
2421 <br />
2422 <p>>I take a chance between kisses and slip my other hand under her skirt.<br />
2423 >It ends up on her left panty-clad butcheek<br />
2424 >Its much hotter under the skirt, and her panties are made out of some soft silky material<br />
2425 >This just kind of slides around in my hands and i don't have a firm purchase, but it's amazing nonetheless.<br />
2426 >[spoiler]I don't know if you've ever touched women's underwear, but somehow its like seventy times nicer than men's in terms of fabric quality[/spoiler]<br />
2427 >[spoiler] It's got to be something to do with how thin the material usually is[/spoiler]<br />
2428 >I've got my other hand slowly working under her skirt as well, but its slow progress because i have to stop it wherever it is and hold her tightly every time we play the chasing game.<br />
2429 >The hand starts on her bare lower back.<br />
2430 >Pauses temporarily on the mountains of her upper tushie.<br />
2431 >Enjoys an afternoon stroll across her clothed upper thigh.<br />
2432 >Uses the skirt as a shade from the hot summer sun on her lower thigh.</p>
2434 <br />
2435 <p>>Eventually Monsieur hand makes his way to the bare upper thigh<br />
2436 >He's on tiptoes now, sneaking ever closer to his goal.<br />
2437 >He's on edge, he knows he might be caught any moment.<br />
2438 >With relish he reaches ze goal he's been traveling for.<br />
2439 >With one movement i clasp my hand softly over the entire crevice of her pantied crotch.<br />
2440 >From her butt, to where my fingers are pressing lightly right below her lower navel.<br />
2441 >She freezes<br />
2442 >an odd look on her face as she sits up slightly.<br />
2443 >She doesn't remove my hand though<br />
2444 >Her legs squish together as she changes position and i find myself happily stuck here, one hand on her behind, one right between her hinds.<br />
2445 >The only real sensation i can feel is heat emanating off of where Mr. righty is visiting.</p>
2447 <br />
2448 <p><br />
2449 >Birthday finally speaks<br />
2450 >"So...?"<br />
2451 >So what i'm thinking in my head<br />
2452 >i'm not sure this is what i should be saying right then though<br />
2453 >My brain wasn't exactly working at full steam<br />
2454 >Or half steam<br />
2455 >Or any steam<br />
2456 >It might have been empty<br />
2457 >It must have been empty because i simply repeat "So..." and look at her questioningly.<br />
2458 >Her confidence is back, she doesn't look as fragile anymore, but i know it's probably all there if i poked the wrong spot.<br />
2459 >"So... am i better?"<br />
2460 >Holy shit that's what this was about wasn't it<br />
2461 >I completely forgot<br />
2462 >Of course you're fucking better woman, i would have just told you if you asked me<br />
2463 >Not that i mind how you asked of course<br />
2464 >In retrospect this would have probably been the proper response<br />
2465 >Instead i try to be suave and "cool"<br />
2466 >yeah, im cringing too.</p>
2468 <br />
2469 <p>>"You had to ask?" Was my ill thought out response.<br />
2470 >To make it worse i punctuated it with a wiggle of my fingers right where she could feel them.<br />
2471 >this seemed like a good idea at the time<br />
2472 >Her funny look doesn't stop<br />
2473 >It doesn't change to hurt, or sadness, or happiness<br />
2474 >It's just kind of confused.<br />
2475 >I can almost see her changing slowly from "Loved" to "Unwanted" in her eyes<br />
2476 >My brain isn't working correctly because she's still got her knee pressing firmly against my hardness<br />
2477 >But i can tell she's not liking the answer<br />
2478 >I dimly realize i probably just made it about sex and not her<br />
2479 >I had given the equivalent to the after-romp question of "Was it as good for you as it was me?"<br />
2480 >Don't ever do that anons.<br />
2481 >I rack my mind and just blurt out an answer i think will smooth it over.</p>
2483 <br />
2484 <p>>"Yes"<br />
2485 >That does it, her entire posture softens<br />
2486 >Her upper body relaxes, her chest sinks an entire inch and brings her beautiful breasts along with it.<br />
2487 >Her eyes are back to smiling<br />
2488 >i retreat to my older thoughts of "I would have just fucking told you woman"<br />
2489 >I say some of these words<br />
2490 >Looks like i'm not fucked<br />
2491 >I'm just looking at her expectantly<br />
2492 >I'm pretty sure i had a pleading look all over my face.<br />
2493 >Please insert another coin to continue<br />
2494 >pls</p>
2496 <br />
2497 <p>>She repositions her knee, it's no longer pressing firmly against me, instead its on the other side of my leg<br />
2498 >This opens up her crotch, and lets my hand breathe again.<br />
2499 >She's just kneeling above me topless.<br />
2500 >Both of her legs straddling me<br />
2501 >Both of my hands under her skirt, one on her left buttcheek, one placed flatly across her panty-covered most private place.<br />
2502 >She's not moving<br />
2503 >She's got a kind of quizzical smiling face on, like she's deciding if she wants to do something or not.<br />
2504 >I take the chance, might as well<br />
2505 >I take the hand i have on her crotch and place a firm amount of pressure with my middle finger right into her pubic bone.</p>
2507 <br />
2508 <p>>I just watch her face, as i slide it down, inch by inch across her panties.<br />
2509 >Where her slit starts...<br />
2510 >She's got a look of focus on her face as if she's concentrating on something.<br />
2511 >Halfway down<br />
2512 >She strains a tiny amount and bites her lower lip.<br />
2513 >Bottom of the curve<br />
2514 >No movement in her face<br />
2515 >still the same focused concentration.<br />
2516 >I round out the last bit with the lightest caress of what i could only assume was her rear, before i moved my hand to the back of her thigh.</p>
2518 <br />
2519 <p>>Her look softens, then hardens again.<br />
2520 >She seems to have made a decision.<br />
2521 >"Thanks for picking me"<br />
2522 >She leans over and picks up the bra where she left it and begins putting it back on.</p>
2524 <p>>Million things going through my head<br />
2525 >She definitely thinks that she is for-sure the one i picked during the kissing game.<br />
2526 >I mean the whole point was to give everyone enough clues to think it was them<br />
2527 >But now she REALLY thinks it was her.<br />
2528 >I'm not sure where my opinions lie on this</p>
2530 <br />
2531 <p>>She's got her bra back on though, hidden the precious things from sight while i was thinking about what she just said.<br />
2532 >Still have my hands on her glorious ass though<br />
2533 >Aint taking this away from me<br />
2534 >She stands up<br />
2535 >She's taken this away from me<br />
2536 >I see a hand hovering in my vision<br />
2537 >Oh i guess i should take this<br />
2538 >I'm hauled to my feet<br />
2539 >Still have a boner of a million armies<br />
2540 >I'm not stopping here<br />
2541 >Fuck that</p>
2543 <br />
2544 <p>>I wrap my arms around her, pinning one of her arms to her side and the other between me and her.<br />
2545 >I lean in for a kiss<br />
2546 >I close my eyes<br />
2547 >I meet her finger<br />
2548 >I open my eyes</p>
2550 <p>>A single finger separating my lips from meeting hers.<br />
2551 >She's giving me another quizzical look, but its softer and it's almost saying "I'm sorry"<br />
2552 >I have absolutely no clue what she's thinking but i was just kiss-blocked by her finger<br />
2553 >She lets loose a whisper<br />
2554 >"Not now..."<br />
2555 >Her breath is hot and cascades across the features of my face<br />
2556 >It feels lovely<br />
2557 >But<br />
2558 > ):</p>
2560 <br />
2561 <p>>I let go<br />
2562 >She backs up and straightens up<br />
2563 >She points at the sink<br />
2564 >We're both kinda covered with slobber i guess<br />
2565 >It's not a very cheery time, we both kind of just solemnly clean ourselves up and wipe away any traces of what happened here.<br />
2566 >Its much easier since we don't have shirts on<br />
2567 >We finish cleaning up and i get another sad apologetic look from her<br />
2568 >I don't know what i could have possibly done to deserve that look<br />
2569 >It must be something she doesn't want to tell me<br />
2570 >Maybe she's afraid of being caught by everyone else, or something else simpler.<br />
2571 >Caught<br />
2572 >Oh right we should probably not exit the bathroom together<br />
2573 >I offer to go first and just duck into the guest room and wait out her reintroducing herself to the crowd for a while.</p>
2575 <br />
2576 <p>>I do just that<br />
2577 >I close the door behind me<br />
2578 >The room is a darker and much quieter stark contrast to the rest of the house<br />
2579 >I guess the girls were back in the living room playing video games from what it sounded like.<br />
2580 >I turn away from the door and glance over at raven<br />
2581 >she's somehow shoved all the pillows all over the place and is lying on her back.<br />
2582 >I remember this is a bad thing<br />
2583 >I walk over and sit on the bed<br />
2584 >half of her torso is sticking out and it looks like she's half tangled in the blankets<br />
2585 >I think one of her feet is even hanging off the edge under the covers<br />
2586 >She seems to be sleeping happily unaware of this though<br />
2587 >Silly girl<br />
2588 >I slightly chuckle to myself comparing her chest to the two i had just had shoved in my face.<br />
2589 >Still, small has its merits, and i shove this thought from my mind as i roll her over.<br />
2590 >little bit of repositioning later, i've got her back on her side and wrapped up properly.<br />
2591 >Even got her arms around that hugging pillow, her chin resting on the corner of it softly.<br />
2592 >She has no clue, but she's winning major cuteness points in her sleep</p>
2594 <p>>fokin adorabul</p>
2596 <br />
2597 <p>>I hear the door click though and i'm brought quickly out of my dawwing<br />
2598 >I turn around to find glasses closing the door behind her<br />
2599 >She turns around and seems completely surprised to see me.<br />
2600 >I mumble something like "she was just sprawled, i put her back on her side"<br />
2601 >She doesn't seem to say anything, she just gives a kind of half-nod.<br />
2602 >I guess that was a good enough excuse to have been gone for all this time and found in the room with an unconscious half-naked girl in it.<br />
2603 >I hoped glasses trusted me at that point, i sure felt like she did.<br />
2604 >She turns towards the door and starts to leave<br />
2605 >I stop her<br />
2606 >"Glasses" This is just her full name<br />
2607 >"Are you mad at me?... from earlier?"<br />
2608 >She doesn't turn around<br />
2609 >We're both just standing there silently for a bit<br />
2610 >longer than a bit, it's maybe 20 seconds, neither of us saying anything.<br />
2611 >Eventually she turns around<br />
2612 </p>
2614 <p>>She turns with one leg, the other just remains stationary<br />
2615 >It's more of a pivot<br />
2616 >She's smiling though<br />
2617 >The light is kinda bad, but from the distance i think i see a wet spot between her nose and her cheek.<br />
2618 >I wonder if she was crying, but i'm interrupted by her chosen statement.<br />
2619 >"No"<br />
2620 >This is just a harsh flat word in my ears<br />
2621 >I'm crestfallen<br />
2622 >I know that she means way more than she's saying<br />
2623 >I'm mulling this over, what her real opinions are on the subject for about a third of a second before she continues<br />
2624 >"Because you chose to kiss me first".<br />
2625 </p>
2627 <br />
2628 <br />
2629 <h1 dir="ltr" >Update #9 : April 11-12th</h1>
2631 <p><a href="http://archive.heinessen.com/r9k/thread/11296271" >http://archive.heinessen.com/r9k/thread/11296271</a></p>
2633 <br />
2634 <p>>She's out the door less than 2 seconds after she says that.<br />
2635 >Oh manholyshitglassesthankyou<br />
2636 >Those words were like angels singing<br />
2637 >Things not fucked up with glasses, things not fucked up with Birthday, fuck homely, the only person left to smooth things out with is blondie.<br />
2638 >3/4 Girls somehow weren't angry at me over what i had done over the last 30 minutes.<br />
2639 >All i had to do was smooth it out with Blondie and we would all be on better-than-good terms.<br />
2640 >Better than good because i've treated them all specially individually or in thier own mind compared to the others.</p>
2642 <p>>I'm praising the miracles sent down from the benevolent sleepover god, i've somehow been able to navigate this raging river with minefield rapids of a situation with ease.<br />
2643 >Somewhere up above the sleepover god smiles.<br />
2644 >[spoiler] For he sees the waterfall up ahead[/spoiler]</p>
2646 <br />
2647 <p>>I had half a mind to just walk right into the living room, sweep blondie off her feet and carry her away like a damsel.<br />
2648 >In my mind that sounded like a great idea<br />
2649 >But in my mind that also sounded like the worst fucking idea possible<br />
2650 >Issues and problems that could arise start flooding my brain.<br />
2651 >The other girls would see<br />
2652 >she might not want to come</p>
2654 <p>>I really didn't know how angry Blondie was either, she could just be unwilling to come completely.<br />
2655 >if she resists its just a huge mess<br />
2656 >Plus what if i can't pick her up properly<br />
2657 >or i drop her or something<br />
2658 >Oh no i've unleashed the stream of doubts, here they come<br />
2659 >What if i slip and fall<br />
2660 >What if someone else stops me<br />
2661 >What if she's actually heavier than she looks and im not strong enough.<br />
2662 >What if it takes too long and i look awkward trying to do it.<br />
2663 >What if i pussy out last second<br />
2664 >What if she just doesn't like me at all anymore<br />
2665 </p>
2667 <p>>I'm now standing motionless in the hallway slowly being crushed by self-pity and doubt<br />
2668 >I'm just shrinking smaller and smaller with every what-if.<br />
2669 >I just stop, all my best-laid alpha plans crushed before they even begin.<br />
2670 >I end up half-trudging and half-scuffling my feet into the living room.</p>
2672 <p>>I'm pretty self-depreciated</p>
2674 <p>>I've somehow made myself doubt everything without even any reasons behind it.<br />
2675 >Fuck you brain<br />
2676 >I just kinda sadly shuffle in<br />
2677 >Birthday sees and gets a frown for about half of a second<br />
2678 >At first i think she must think i'm in a shit mood because of what we did or something, which would make no sense<br />
2679 >But i figure it could be on her mind<br />
2680 >Her eyes aren't sad though, so she must be thinking something else<br />
2681 >Maybe that i'm just pretending to be sad so nobody catches on to what we did<br />
2682 >Yeah i guess we can pretend that's what i'm doing.</p>
2684 <br />
2685 <p>>So me and my brilliant plan to walk in and seem in a bad mood to throw all the girls off the trail is going great.<br />
2686 >Well except Glasses has no clue why i'm acting sad<br />
2687 >But she's got the same kind of look as Birthday<br />
2688 >Maybe she thinks i'm sad about raven, or something.<br />
2689 >It's odd that seems to be such a good excuse for so many things, even though i'm not thinking it myself.<br />
2690 >I can't pretend to know what's going on in glasses' head really.<br />
2691 >but i seem to be alright in her eyes<br />
2692 >So i end up plopping right down next to her.</p>
2694 <p>>The video game of choice seems to be symphonia again<br />
2695 >4 player, everyone has a controller but me.<br />
2696 >I'm alright with this, i was jrpg-ed out for the day.<br />
2697 </p>
2699 <p>>Blondie is waaay on the other side of the couch and leaning all over the armrest, with Birthday and Glasses between me and her.<br />
2700 >Everyone is still shirtless, except homely who's chillin in the armchair to the side.<br />
2701 >She's got her t-shirt back on<br />
2702 >It's not like its hiding too much though, her chest still moves anytime she does anything.<br />
2703 >When she catches me looking at her she pokes her tongue out a little bit and makes a teasey kind of "Nya nyaa nya nyaa nyaaa" face.<br />
2704 >I haven't seen anyone make that kind of face since i had to rescue all the dragon eggs, but i mean that's what it was.<br />
2705 >[spoiler] if i start chasing her, charging around headfirst, someone stop me[/spoiler]</p>
2707 <br />
2708 <p>>I figure there's no way i'm getting close to Blondie's feet again so that path is closed off.<br />
2709 >Maybe if i could figure out how to send smoke signals to birthday i could get her to swap places with me, but i'm on thin-ice making sure she thinks she's special so i better not.<br />
2710 >The armchair of the couch is out of the question since Blondie is all over it somehow<br />
2711 >I don't even understand how it was comfy but she was relaxing on it sideways and chest first like some kind of big cat.<br />
2712 >Hands held out in-front of her away from the couch entirely as she concentrated on the screen.<br />
2713 >I can't even do justice to how awkward it looked, but she seemed to be having a good time so who was i to judge.<br />
2714 >I sadly don't have any avenue of getting to and assessing her current mood towards me though, so i just have to sit silently where i am and watch the game.</p>
2716 <br />
2717 <p>>My thoughts don't linger on Blondie for very long, i can't really do anything about her at the moment and i don't even know if she's angry at me or not.<br />
2718 >I am however sitting next to the prime culprit of most of my video-game related suffering of the last two days.<br />
2719 >Glasses<br />
2720 >Time for some fucking payback<br />
2721 >I drop my "It'll all fuck up if i try" mood and just put my left arm halfway around her waist.<br />
2722 >EVERYTHING GOES WRONG<br />
2723 >But it doesn't, she doesn't say a word, my arm is properly hidden from view by everyone and my palm is just lightly resting on her bare skin.<br />
2724 >The only way anyone would notice where my hand is would be if birthday turns completely around<br />
2725 >From my seat i have complete reign over the entire right half of glasses body.<br />
2726 >As long as i don't do anything too obvious of course.</p>
2728 <br />
2729 <p>>What does any male do when he's got free reign of a woman's body?<br />
2730 >There's only one answer<br />
2731 >Tickling<br />
2732 >But not just any tickling<br />
2733 >I pull my hand back and take a single finger and place it softly along her spine.<br />
2734 >Without lifting it, i just slowly traced it in small circles<br />
2735 >I did this while gently moving it across the entire expanse of skin presented to me.<br />
2736 >I wasn't trying to tickle her yet, i had to find out where she was ticklish<br />
2737 >I intentionally scooted closer to her and watched her facial expressions, listened to her breathing.<br />
2738 >I was moving my finger just slowly enough that when i reached something ticklish i could notice all the changes in her body language.</p>
2740 <br />
2741 <p>>Her look of concentration at playing vidya would soften into a tiny tiny smile<br />
2742 >She would take a short breath, one that didn't match the rhythm of her normal breathing pattern.<br />
2743 >Depending on where i was touching on her lower back, she might tense up, or relax<br />
2744 >Human bodies are like instruments<br />
2745 >I could sit there for years eliciting little sighs, gasps, muscle contractions and other reactions from a girl.<br />
2746 >The sounds they make are like music<br />
2747 >The movements are like the vibrations of a string instrument.<br />
2748 >It's beyond entertaining.<br />
2749 >I roamed those expanses of flesh for what could only have been hours, but was maybe just a couple minutes.<br />
2750 >I think i was doing an awful job of tickling her and just got distracted.<br />
2751 >I think i might be really bad at this tormenting thing.</p>
2753 <br />
2754 <p>>Whatever i was doing, after a couple of minutes of it i had most of her ticklish areas worked out<br />
2755 >She was extremely ticklish along her lower spine, right where the skin almost vanished into the un-attainable reaches of her pants.<br />
2756 >She wasn't very ticklish anywhere else besides her sides (Which are ticklish on like everyone anyway.<br />
2757 >I had even roamed my hands along her upper back to where her bra strap was<br />
2758 >...Yes the idea to unhook it had crossed my mind multiple times<br />
2759 >But we knew better.<br />
2760 >I still hadn't actually "Tickled" her yet</p>
2762 <p>>But that was the point wasn't it<br />
2763 >For the most part of her body language,</p>
2765 <p>>She wasn't shying away from my touches<br />
2766 >She wasn't having trouble surviving on the game<br />
2767 >She wasn't giving me any looks of any sort.<br />
2768 >I would say she was enjoying it so far.<br />
2769 >But i had plans to fix that.</p>
2771 <br />
2772 <p>>Now let me tell you anons about tickling<br />
2773 >Tickling is a science, an absolute masterful talent to have<br />
2774 >It takes two things<br />
2775 >#1 Your hands<br />
2776 >#2 Someone else<br />
2777 >Face it, we all know how to tickle people<br />
2778 >Throw hands at other person, laughing ensues<br />
2779 >But i didn't want her laughing<br />
2780 >I wanted her ALMOST laughing<br />
2781 >That painful feeling where you're trying to suppress giggles and every single one threatens to come out.<br />
2782 >Not many people know how to play this tickling game</p>
2784 <br />
2785 <p>>I knew Glasses was enjoying my hands<br />
2786 >I knew she didn't want them to stop<br />
2787 >and i knew she didn't want the girls to know i was playing with her on the couch.<br />
2788 >I knew far too much for her own good.<br />
2789 >I placed my hand right back on her spine.<br />
2790 >One finger touching<br />
2791 >[spoiler]Now there's a secret to tickling, and that's really something you learn from experience.[/spoiler]</p>
2793 <p>>[spoiler]The more points of contact you have, the more likely they'll laugh.[/spoiler]<br />
2794 >Even if you're a bumbling fool, five fingers will get any human giggling (as long as they're ticklish)<br />
2795 >But thats the brute method, i was going to start easy on her<br />
2796 >I was starting with two.</p>
2798 <br />
2799 <p>>I placed my ring finger slightly higher up on her back<br />
2800 >And i traced a circle<br />
2801 >[spoiler]That's the other secret[/spoiler]<br />
2802 >[spoiler]Flitting contact will make them laugh easy, but soft solid contact almost never will[/spoiler]<br />
2803 >Then i lightly lifted them both off her skin<br />
2804 >Placed them lower<br />
2805 >and did it again.<br />
2806 >Every time i did this my fingers would end up upside down<br />
2807 >So to move them, i would my fingernails softly across her back<br />
2808 >This was the part that was getting her<br />
2809 >The hard surfaces of my fingernails were making her inhale off-rhythm each time<br />
2810 >and that muscle tensing/relaxing i was talking about earlier?<br />
2811 >She stopped that "relaxing" bit.</p>
2813 <br />
2814 <p>>As i repeated this lower.... and lower.<br />
2815 >Her face took on a grin, the side facing me even showing the tiniest bit of teeth<br />
2816 >It didn't take me long at all to reach the waistband of her pants.<br />
2817 >A disgusting artificial barrier to my fun<br />
2818 >Such is life<br />
2819 >With an internal sigh i simply took my two fingers and formed a bit of a claw<br />
2820 >Reached as far around her waist as i felt was safe from prying eyes<br />
2821 >Placed them back, one after another right where her skin met clothing again<br />
2822 >And scratched her, slowly, smoothly, the entire way back to me again<br />
2823 >Not too hard, not too soft, enough to leave the faintest of red markings where my fingernails had passed.<br />
2824 >Her reaction to this was instantaneous<br />
2825 <br />
2826 >She straightened up, her posture went from slouching to straight up and down.<br />
2827 >This had the side effect of thrusting her chest outwards quite a bit<br />
2828 >Assets that i was not morally against observing during this process.<br />
2829 >Her breath slowed entirely, even stopping compared to what it had been before.<br />
2830 >Her stomach pulled in taught.</p>
2832 <p>>Her eyes widened, her smile dropped to a straight line<br />
2833 >She even uncrossed her legs<br />
2834 >Let's just say that i was glad nobody else was watching her when i did this<br />
2835 >I was enjoying myself immensely though<br />
2836 >I hadn't realized that simple finger caresses could have this much of an effect on a girl<br />
2837 >i was kinda jealous</p>
2839 <br />
2840 <p>>But it was time to make her suffer</p>
2842 <p>>Her performance in the game wasn't doing too hot, but she was still functioning more or less enough to not matter.<br />
2843 >She hadn't let me play video games though<br />
2844 >That was reprehensible<br />
2845 >She would atone for those sins.<br />
2846 >I would make sure of it.<br />
2847 >This time i moved my hand back up her spine, starting higher this time.<br />
2848 >I couldn't help but notice that her skin felt hotter, warmer to the touch than it did earlier.<br />
2849 >Maybe it was my fault, maybe not, i pushed the idea out of my head.<br />
2850 >It was time for three fingers.</p>
2852 <br />
2853 <p>>Because the pointer/index/ring on my hand were not all close to the same length, touching all three of them and drawing circles was impossible.<br />
2854 >I figured this out after two or three awkward attempts<br />
2855 >I was not as smooth as i'm making myself sound, trust me.</p>
2857 <p>>Anatomy failing me in my time of need.<br />
2858 >[spoiler] But remember anons, you don't have to be a casanova with your fingers, even if you're fingers are literally tripping over one another, it feels nice[/spoiler]<br />
2859 >[spoiler]Physical skin to skin contact just feels nice[/spoiler]<br />
2860 >No issue, i could improvise</p>
2862 <p>>I placed my middle and pointer fingers side by side a decent distance apart, and my ring finger lightly resting a tad bit further away.<br />
2863 >Then i twisted my entire hand slowly.<br />
2864 >The index and pointer swapped position<br />
2865 >The ring traced an extremely light semi-circle around the outside of this smaller circle.<br />
2866 >It wasn't very firm, so the ring finger lightly brushed her only every couple of centimeters<br />
2867 >She tensed again</p>
2869 <br />
2870 <p>>Her grin was back<br />
2871 >I moved lower and do it again<br />
2872 >Wider grin, small exhale halfway through<br />
2873 >I was getting to her<br />
2874 >I slide my hand lower, and lightly trickle my fingers across the spine as i go.<br />
2875 >She's giving tiny-little amounts of air out the side of her mouth every time one of my fingers touch<br />
2876 >I place my fingers in position again<br />
2877 >I rotate my hand<br />
2878 >She gives what can only be described as half a giggle<br />
2879 >Quite loud too, a couple of the other girls look at her surprised<br />
2880 >Glasses plays it off like it was a cough<br />
2881 >She's got one of her hands off the controller and up to her mouth<br />
2882 >How suave<br />
2883 >I guess i went the tiniest bit too far<br />
2884 >But i know her edge now<br />
2885 </p>
2887 <p>>I'm relentless<br />
2888 >for ten full minutes i barely-tickle her.<br />
2889 >the lightest finger caresses, the smallest smoothest circles<br />
2890 >She's stifling gasps the entire time<br />
2891 >Her grin is just there to disguise the copious amounts of air she's exhaling every time i hit the right spot.<br />
2892 >Even her upper chest is fluttering , expanding and contracting with each microscopic giggle<br />
2893 >Her performance in the game can only be described as awful<br />
2894 >She's dying left and right, she's not getting the right hits off, she's in absolute vidya hell.<br />
2895 >Just where she had me earlier<br />
2896 >Luckily for her, she wasn't too essential to the fights, and the rest of the girls were rolling through and reviving her when she died.<br />
2897 >But she's sending little pleading looks at me now<br />
2898 >She knows what's coming up, a boss.</p>
2900 <br />
2901 <p>>I stop, just hold my hand lower on her spine than i had done circles with three fingers yet.<br />
2902 >I wait for her to be important, i know she's got a job to do this fight.<br />
2903 >seconds before she has to engage one of the enemies alone.<br />
2904 >i twist my hand<br />
2905 >she lets out a breathy squeak and completely loses concentration.<br />
2906 >I don't end there though, with my other hand i flip the waistband of her pants down exposing another half inch of unexplored skin.<br />
2907 >I make a claw again and run three nails in a very firm scratch along this newly exposed line<br />
2908 >She's dead<br />
2909 >No amount of concentration was going to save her from the tensing and suppressed giggling i was causing.<br />
2910 >She falls back against my hand and drops her controller<br />
2911 >She's lying with her back against the couch pillow, first time she's really been able to relax since i've started touching her.<br />
2912 >She's breathing softly and smoothly and staring right at me.<br />
2913 >Her eyes might be saying "Ravish me" or "Take me now"<br />
2914 >But i'm pretty sure they aren't<br />
2915 >to my careful-eye-observations it looks like "That was mean"<br />
2916 >Yeah i know, those looks can be confusing. </p>
2918 <br />
2919 <p>>Ill show ya mean<br />
2920 >she's lying back so her entire chest and stomach are exposed<br />
2921 >You know what this means<br />
2922 >RASPBERRY<br />
2923 >Any excuse to get your lips on exposed skin i guess<br />
2924 >I bend down and place my lips right on the skin above her bellybutton<br />
2925 >And i blow like a god damn blue whale coming up for air.<br />
2926 >The sound of my lips slapping against her stomach<br />
2927 >The typical PFPFPTPFPTPFPT<br />
2928 >those were the only two sounds in the room<br />
2929 >Until she started laughing<br />
2930 >The longer she did it, the more she squirmed<br />
2931 >She was trying to turn left and right, but i had her held right where i wanted her and wouldn't let her go.<br />
2932 >Her stomach was flexing back and forth, her arms were flailing trying to get me off as she giggled and laughed for a full fifteen seconds.<br />
2933 >She didn't even stop laughing after i ran out of air<br />
2934 >Job well done men.<br />
2935 </p>
2937 <p>>I return to my upright seated position<br />
2938 >Her face is an absolute look of mirth<br />
2939 >every muscle on her face is really smiling or giggling, or trying to stop giggling.<br />
2940 >her chest is heaving, taking her twin beauties up and down with it.<br />
2941 >She's still even squirming a little bit, her legs rubbing together slightly<br />
2942 >10/10 perfect laughing angel<br />
2943 >I'm pretty content with my revenge<br />
2944 >I look away from her<br />
2945 >Nobody else is content with my revenge<br />
2946 >Everyone's dead to the boss, the "Game over" screen is just sitting there<br />
2947 >Blondie, Homely and Birthday are just staring at me like i just showed up and did something horrible.<br />
2948 >[spoiler]kinda that look you have on your face when the girl you like is hanging out with you and your friends, and she just pounces another guy and starts having a tickle fight with him[/spoiler]</p>
2950 <br />
2951 <p>>NO, im not doing this again, fuck you mouth we're using words this time.<br />
2952 >"Don't look at me like that, she deserved it and she KNEW it."<br />
2953 >I put emphasis on "Knew it" i wanted to make sure glasses knew why she was just brutally tortured.<br />
2954 >The girls didn't seem to be convinced<br />
2955 >Alright plan B<br />
2956 >"Who wants to be next?"<br />
2957 >I put on my patented serial-killer-evil grin<br />
2958 >But i put out both my hands and start waggling my fingers like some murderous tickle monster.<br />
2959 >That did it<br />
2960 >Birthday who's the next closest shrieks (the only appropriate response) and i crawl over glasses at her.<br />
2961 >I end up chasing her laughing face halfway across the couch before i pin her down and proceed to tickle her.<br />
2962 >She's face up so i manage to pin her down and straddle her<br />
2963 >This means i get to tickle everything in reach</p>
2965 <br />
2966 <p>>My hands roam the mountains of her ribs<br />
2967 >Explore the cave of her bellybutton<br />
2968 >Tastefully tease the lower reaches of her navel<br />
2969 >Even climb the lowest foothills of her breasts.<br />
2970 >She's a laughing mess, which is exactly the point<br />
2971 >She's shifting from side to side, moving quickly up and down beneath me.<br />
2972 >I've got her laughing just as hard, if not harder than glasses was.<br />
2973 >But i know how the best-laid tickle fights end, so i stop after a good twenty seconds.<br />
2974 >Birthday is all smiles though</p>
2976 <p>>I'm just clapping myself on the back for successfully turning this into a tickle fight.<br />
2977 >Tickle fights are the best<br />
2978 >Now who's next?<br />
2979 >I look up at the armchair of the couch and see blondie watching with a mixture of curiosity and something else in her eyes.<br />
2980 >Perfect</p>
2982 <br />
2983 <p>>I telegraph my actions perfectly, i rear up with my hands back into tickling formation<br />
2984 >I lunge at Blondie's delicious stomach hands outstretched<br />
2985 >"Don't"</p>
2987 <br />
2988 <p>>She hadn't just made a playful statement</p>
2990 <p>>It was absolutely stone cold serious.<br />
2991 >The icy emphasis on these words was devoid of all emotions beside that little amount of timber that lets you know you REALLY should listen.<br />
2992 >Birthday had been giggling and shouting various things like "No" and "stop" when i was chasing her.<br />
2993 >But the tone of those was different, they were empty meant to convey the fun of chasing one another<br />
2994 >This single word seemed to leech all the warmth and fun out of the room.<br />
2995 >Even some basic aspects of physics ceased to function as conservation of momentum was no longer a thing and I fell flat on my face back to the couch<br />
2996 >[spoiler]Really since leaping and pouncing never actually works like it does in anime[/spoiler]<br />
2997 >[spoiler]i wasn't even in the air, had a knee on the couch and was just frozen in place.[/spoiler]</p>
2999 <br />
3000 <p>>I get back up and look at her with a healthy helping of confusion, maybe some beans on the side.<br />
3001 >she wasn't even looking at me, still staring straight forward draped over the side of the couch's arm<br />
3002 >she had her full attention on the television screen<br />
3003 >she was the only girl still holding her controller<br />
3004 >Even homely was halfway to getting up and trying to join in when the room froze.<br />
3005 >It was like even the lighting had changed, from the warm afternoon glow of the sun.</p>
3007 <p>>To a shallower cold white, like a cloud had passed overhead.<br />
3008 >I suddenly realized how cold the room was without my shirt on.</p>
3010 <br />
3011 <p>>I guess tickling was over<br />
3012 >I guess fun was over<br />
3013 >fuck why is it so cold in here<br />
3014 >I'm now sitting up and staring at blondie's back as she's trying not to meet my eyes<br />
3015 >I try to wrym my way forwards and meet her eyes and ask what's wrong<br />
3016 >She just stops moving for a second<br />
3017 >And her head pivots around slowly<br />
3018 >It's like some kind of terrifying child's doll<br />
3019 >I don't even wait to see what her face is going to look like<br />
3020 >Im fucking off that couch<br />
3021 >Halfway across the room<br />
3022 >"I'll go... go get some snacks or something"<br />
3023 >fucking gone man<br />
3024 </p>
3026 <p>>I arrive in the kitchen<br />
3027 >Its much warmer in here</p>
3029 <p>>that terrifies me that this is the first thing i notice<br />
3030 >I rummage around in the cabinets and find a bag of something crunchy and i start going for one of the lower cabinets to find a bowl.<br />
3031 >I figure maybe food is what we need to settle that mood in there, since i really don't know what just happened.<br />
3032 >While i'm kneeling, i find there's actually quite a bit of mayo that spilled down here, along with part of a tomato<br />
3033 >I consider cleaning it up myself, but i'm contemplating pulling one of the girls in here for company while i prepare drinks too.<br />
3034 >Birthday would be welcome company, she knows where everything is anyway.<br />
3035 >I yell out across the house "There's some mayo and tomato spilled in here, someone missed a spot"</p>
3037 <br />
3038 <p>>I finally find a bowl, and stand up to place it on the counter along with the chips<br />
3039 >I freeze halfway<br />
3040 >The room is icy<br />
3041 >The light is cold<br />
3042 >It's absolutely astounding how one person can change the perceived atmosphere of a place<br />
3043 >Humans are such perceptive creatures that even subtle body language can make you feel physical sensations, or draw you from one mood to the next.<br />
3044 >Blondie was standing in the door<br />
3045 >She wasn't smiling, she wasn't frowning.<br />
3046 >Her eyes were scowling, maybe burning at me<br />
3047 >Her eyebrows were furrowed<br />
3048 >But her mouth was straight, serious<br />
3049 >"Where"<br />
3050 >That one word sent chills through me<br />
3051 >What in Odin's name had i done to her.</p>
3053 <br />
3054 <p>>I just kind of place the bowl on the counter and point towards the corner where the mess was<br />
3055 >She glides over like a ghost, i could swear if i didn't see her hips swaying slightly i wouldn't know she was moving behind the island in the middle of the kitchen.<br />
3056 >I try to avoid eye contact<br />
3057 >If i catch her gaze, i know i'm going to have to start making will saving throws.<br />
3058 >I just busy myself with arranging cups on the island and getting out another 2L of soda that's in the fridge<br />
3059 >It's been like three or four minutes of me getting food ready, and i turn around to find blondie still wiping at the same spot in the corner with a paper towel.<br />
3060 >I'm really worried about her but i don't say anything<br />
3061 >I just continue fixing the drinks<br />
3062 >She's still back there though, i'm getting chills up and down my spine<br />
3063 >not just my spine, the hair on the back of my legs is standing up every time i turn away from her.</p>
3065 <br />
3066 <p>>I finish up moving and arranging everything i could possibly use my time for<br />
3067 >I'm dreading this moment<br />
3068 >I turn around<br />
3069 >she's still rubbing the area in small circles<br />
3070 >She's crouched, facing away from me<br />
3071 >I step behind her and kneel down and place my hand on her shoulder<br />
3072 >"Blondi-"</p>
3074 <br />
3075 <p>>She's standing up<br />
3076 >She's turning around<br />
3077 >NOPE.webm<br />
3078 >WHY DIDN'T I REMEMBER LAST TIME I DID THIS<br />
3079 >Its too late<br />
3080 >She's turned around<br />
3081 >You know that face that women make in anime where they have this shadow over the entire thing and you can't see it<br />
3082 >This was what i saw<br />
3083 >She had her head tilted downwards and the lights in the room just didn't hit where i was trying to look because her hair was in the way.<br />
3084 >I would be terrified<br />
3085 >But i can't be<br />
3086 >Because she shoves me<br />
3087 >The accompanying shout could rouse entire nations<br />
3088 >I don't doubt everyone in the other room could hear it as clear as if they were right beside her.<br />
3089 >"GET YOUR HAND OFF ME"</p>
3091 <br />
3092 <p>>Now getting shoved is no big deal<br />
3093 >She obviously didn't like the hand on her shoulder, and i had fucked up in even attempting to be a caring worrying human about her wiping up a mayo spill for six minutes straight.<br />
3094 >The issue was not that i was shoved<br />
3095 >Or that she had yelled and everyone had heard it.<br />
3096 >The issue was what i was shoved towards.<br />
3097 >Remember how i said there was an island in the middle of the kitchen<br />
3098 >Well that island was square<br />
3099 >It had lovely wooden corners, just like the rest of the kitchen finishings<br />
3100 >One of those corners was right at the height of the small of my back</p>
3102 <br />
3103 <p>>Now as many anons might know<br />
3104 >[spoiler]There's some things in your back that are really important[/spoiler]<br />
3105 >[spoiler]One of these things is a bundle of nerves called the Celiac Plexus[/spoiler]<br />
3106 >[spoiler]Now what happens when you hit this bundle of nerves is a bunch of really fun things[/spoiler]<br />
3107 >[spoiler]Depending on how hard you hit it, various things can happen[/spoiler]<br />
3108 >[spoiler]Temporary Paralysis of the Diaphragm[/spoiler]<br />
3109 >[spoiler]Minor loss of limb function[/spoiler]<br />
3110 >[spoiler]Excruciating pain[/spoiler]<br />
3111 >[spoiler]Cascading serious effects through the majority of your nervous system[/spoiler]<br />
3112 >[spoiler]Disruption of organ function[/spoiler]<br />
3113 >[spoiler]In rare cases, death[/spoiler]<br />
3114 </p>
3116 <p>>Now i got the fun mixture of these<br />
3117 >I hit my back on this corner.<br />
3118 >It wedged itself right into the crevice beside my spine<br />
3119 >and a couple things happened.<br />
3120 >Firstly i could see blondie's face again<br />
3121 >She was angry<br />
3122 >When i say fire was in her eyes, i mean her eyebrows were getting singed<br />
3123 >Her face was contorted into a mixture of pure rage, and what i can only assume is true heartbreak<br />
3124 >I was impressed i was able to read all these emotions and feelings though<br />
3125 >Because colors changed</p>
3127 <br />
3128 <p>>Everything in the room got brighter<br />
3129 >Way way brighter, we're talking luminosity settings in photoshop bright<br />
3130 >She was still yelling, but everything around her was glowing<br />
3131 >I couldn't hear a word either, nothing was coming out of her mouth<br />
3132 >I tried to focus and hear what she was saying, but that was when i realized why everything was blindingly bright<br />
3133 >the Pain<br />
3134 >For whatever reason i'm now feeling the equivalent of being kicked in the balls earlier<br />
3135 >Multiplied by 10<br />
3136 >Across my ENTIRE spinal column and every radiant nerve cluster i can imagine was close<br />
3137 >There is no proper way to describe pain like this<br />
3138 >if you could imagine burning hot coals across every inch of skin on your back.<br />
3139 >With a pool of molten lead burning through your liver<br />
3140 >That's as close as i can ever imagine.<br />
3141 >Just know that when i felt it, i didn't just freeze up, i fucking collapsed<br />
3142 >I was on the floor, hands and knees in the most agony i've ever experienced in my life<br />
3143 >BUT IT GETS BETTER</p>
3145 <br />
3146 <p>>I'm on my hands and knees in this kitchen<br />
3147 >I'm suffering a fucking twenty on the 1-10 pain scale.<br />
3148 >I can hear blondie yelling<br />
3149 >words are getting through<br />
3150 >"Birthday" (The name)</p>
3152 <p>>"Bathroom"<br />
3153 >"Better"<br />
3154 >But you know what<br />
3155 >I don't care right now<br />
3156 >I really don't care<br />
3157 >i'm going to cry<br />
3158 >I try to cry<br />
3159 >i can't</p>
3161 <br />
3162 <p>>Great, just great<br />
3163 >What's fucking wrong now<br />
3164 >Tears are streaming down my face<br />
3165 >I can see them dripping off my nose<br />
3166 >But i can't make a sound<br />
3167 >I want to be bawwling like a fucking newborn child<br />
3168 >My mouth is open<br />
3169 >But no sounds come out<br />
3170 >It's like i'm in a nightmare<br />
3171 >Some horrible nightmare where you try to scream and you can't<br />
3172 >I'm in some nightmare where i'm watching the most terrible destructive monster just slowly inch towards my friend and i can't warn them.</p>
3174 <p>>But this is real<br />
3175 >Blondie is still screaming profanities at me from my right<br />
3176 >I still can't make a single sound though<br />
3177 >I'm just hanging my head, mouth wide open and staring through the floor like i want to scream.<br />
3178 >Everything burns, the pain in my back is still pulsing and throbbing like it's a wound being constantly re-opened by razor blades.<br />
3179 >My chest is burning just as badly, i don't understand<br />
3180 >I didn't hit my chest<br />
3181 >But it's still burning, more and more every second.</p>
3183 <br />
3184 <p>>I try to take a breath<br />
3185 >I can't<br />
3186 >WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T<br />
3187 >[spoiler]Have you ever had the wind knocked out of you anons?[/spoiler]<br />
3188 >[spoiler]Its a blow to the same bundle of nerves, although many times far less direct, and far less intense[/spoiler]</p>
3190 <p>>[spoiler]for those of you who haven't[/spoiler]<br />
3191 >[spoiler]Take a breath, in... out[/spoiler]<br />
3192 >[spoiler]Notice how you can control how your chest does that in-out thing?[/spoiler]<br />
3193 >[spoiler]Now imagine if you tried to take a breath and nothing happened[/spoiler]<br />
3194 >[spoiler]Nothing you can do to make your chest move works[/spoiler]<br />
3195 >[spoiler]Imagine suffocating on dry land[/spoiler]<br />
3196 >[spoiler]Welcome to the moment anons, if you want you can hold your breath and see how long you make it.[/spoiler]</p>
3198 <br />
3199 <p>>Now i'd just taken a serious, hard, direct hit to this bundle of nerves<br />
3200 >My Diaphragm was paralyzed<br />
3201 >It had been a minute, maybe two<br />
3202 >I hadn't had a single breath<br />
3203 >I couldn't scream<br />
3204 >I couldn't cry<br />
3205 >I couldn't breathe<br />
3206 >I couldn't beg blondie for help<br />
3207 >Everything was burning<br />
3208 >My chest was the worst part<br />
3209 >My heart was beating a thousand miles a minute<br />
3210 >Which means i was using up oxygen far far too quickly to be holding my breath this long</p>
3212 <br />
3213 <p>>Have you ever experienced suffocation anons?<br />
3214 >[spoiler]This is not a sensation that i assume is very common, or even relatable on any kind of real level because of how extreme it is. But i'll try to explain it anyway.[/spoiler]<br />
3215 >[spoiler] Hold your breath as long as you can[/spoiler]<br />
3216 >[spoiler] First you'll feel a pressure in your lungs, a slight burning in your throat and upper mouth, then the burning moves lower, a heat spreads throughout your torso[/spoiler]<br />
3217 >[spoiler] Eventually the burning and pressure get so hot that your eyes start to water[/spoiler]<br />
3218 >[spoiler] Its at this point that every single one of you will take a breath, its instinct[/spoiler]<br />
3219 >[spoiler] This will happen even if you're underwater, filling your lungs and burning your insides with the liquid[/spoiler]<br />
3220 >[spoiler] Now if you're not underwater, that pressure just gets bigger, and bigger, until you're screaming on the inside to breathe[/spoiler]</p>
3222 <p>>[spoiler]Your vision begins swimming, your eyes lose focus, the pressure is like a fourty pound wieght upon your chest[/spoiler]</p>
3224 <p>>[spoiler]and it hurts, it hurts like nothing you would ever believe. Suffocation is known to be one of the most painful ways to die.[/spoiler]</p>
3226 <br />
3227 <p>>There is a level of helplessness there that is absolutely mystifying and terrifying at the same time.<br />
3228 >I was so close to everything<br />
3229 >Air was right in front of me, if only i could make my lungs work<br />
3230 >If i could say "I can't breathe" blondie would have stopped yelling to help me no matter how angry she was<br />
3231 >anyone would have, any fucking one of you would have helped if you had known<br />
3232 >It's the most crushing helplessness i've ever felt.<br />
3233 >If i could have even thought of what to do in that situation it would helped<br />
3234 >But i couldn't think<br />
3235 >Too much pain, everything hurt, i couldn't see straight<br />
3236 >White spots were popping up in my vision<br />
3237 >[spoiler]That's indicative of cells in your eyes not getting enough oxygen[/spoiler]<br />
3238 >I had to do something<br />
3239 >every muscle in my body was burning, the pain from my back was like a single coal in an ocean of suns.<br />
3240 >I could still use my arms though, i did the only thing i could think of.</p>
3242 <br />
3243 <p>>I dropped my left arm<br />
3244 >I fell, hit my shoulder hard, full weight of my body and gravity<br />
3245 >i didn't feel a thing<br />
3246 >i gave the best shove i could with my right arm<br />
3247 >this was maybe a second of movement, its all i had in me<br />
3248 >My back hits the tiles hard</p>
3250 <p>>I don't feel a thing</p>
3252 <p>>I see three blurry figures standing by the fridge<br />
3253 >i can't tell who they are<br />
3254 >i ended up more or less on my back with my lower torso twisted<br />
3255 >it's enough</p>
3257 <p>>I throw my arms up and onto my chest<br />
3258 >I really can't feel anything anymore</p>
3260 <br />
3261 <p>>It's just burning<br />
3262 >I try to press down as hard as i can and force my lungs to contract<br />
3263 >I can't do it</p>
3265 <p>>I'm not strong enough<br />
3266 >[spoiler]Try it anons, you just can't[/spoiler]<br />
3267 >I give three attempts before i can't feel my arms anymore<br />
3268 >as in i can't move them<br />
3269 >It was like that sensation you get when you've fallen asleep on your arm, and you wake up and its stiff and tingly until it wakes up<br />
3270 >But in reverse<br />
3271 >My arms and hands were stiff<br />
3272 >I couldn't move them, they were tingling just like sleeping on your arms<br />
3273 >That was really all i could feel was the tingling<br />
3274 >It was spreading across my body slowly<br />
3275 >I guess it was a relief after the pain<br />
3276 >I'm not really seeing anything anymore<br />
3277 >its not like everything faded to black<br />
3278 >or faded to white<br />
3279 >No, the color was grey<br />
3280 >But it wasn't grey, it was Grey with that color of a soap bubble reflecting the light, or an oil mark on a driveway shining in the sunlight.<br />
3281 >It was grey, and then every other color at the same time.</p>
3283 <br />
3284 <br />
3285 <p>You have been muted for 17 minutes 4 seconds, because your comment was too low in content (0.00% content)<br />
3286 <br />
3287 What a perfect time to get muted, 10/10 effort r9kbot</p>
3289 <br />
3290 <br />
3291 <p>>I don't really wake up<br />
3292 >I mean its not like wake up in the normal sense<br />
3293 >first thing i recognize is that i can see the grey again<br />
3294 >i guess it went away for a while<br />
3295 >It's lovely, its shimmering back and forth between everything<br />
3296 >second thing i recognize is that the pressure on my chest is different<br />
3297 >It's not like a weight anymore<br />
3298 >It's very precise though, and i feel it pressing very, very firmly into me.<br />
3299 >I'm trying to figure out if my hands are working again and trying to move them, but i can't tell.<br />
3300 >when i realize with my half-addled brain that it might be someone else<br />
3301 >I still don't feel much of anything<br />
3302 >I try to take a breath again<br />
3303 >its extremely hot, but i manage to inhale just a little bit, as if you can only take one 100th of a breath.</p>
3305 <br />
3306 <p>>I keep trying<br />
3307 >2/100ths of a breath<br />
3308 >out<br />
3309 >4/100ths of a breath<br />
3310 >The sensation was painstaking<br />
3311 >everything hurt again, the burning was back<br />
3312 >I still can't see anything<br />
3313 >still feel like i'm drowning<br />
3314 >But every breath i take is slightly bigger and helps just a bit more<br />
3315 >That's all i'm focused on is breathing<br />
3316 >In<br />
3317 >Out<br />
3318 >in<br />
3319 >Out</p>
3321 <br />
3322 <p>>Eventually i can realize that i'm not actually the only one breathing<br />
3323 >The pressure on my chest is definitely someone else<br />
3324 >Hands maybe<br />
3325 >It's forcing my chest downwards and really not helping though<br />
3326 >I'm kind of breathing on my own, even if it's only with a fourth of my diaphragm<br />
3327 >Every couple other breaths i keep taking are hot, like the air is different.<br />
3328 >Mouth maybe<br />
3329 >I'm dimly aware someone is trying to give me CPR<br />
3330 >[spoiler]thank you time traveling anons[/spoiler]</p>
3332 <br />
3333 <p>>I've started to regain my basic motor functions<br />
3334 >vision is back, but its just an absolute blur of colors<br />
3335 >Imagine all the colors in a room<br />
3336 >Now take the most common ones and just make those cover everything<br />
3337 >That was all i saw<br />
3338 >Wait a bit<br />
3339 >There we go, there's some basic shapes<br />
3340 >Three girls<br />
3341 >fuck if i can tell who they were<br />
3342 >All of them looked to be kneeling above me<br />
3343 >Every couple seconds one of them got real close and i could almost see the face and eyes<br />
3344 >I guess that's whoever was giving me CPR<br />
3345 >after she pulls back , i manage to let out a cough<br />
3346 >I don't know if anything was in my lungs, but it sure felt like they were still not working correctly<br />
3347 >the cough was weak, empty, and just ended in a breath<br />
3348 >i was conscious enough to know that i sounded terrible</p>
3350 <br />
3351 <p>>It's eventually to the point where half my lungs seem to be working</p>
3353 <p>>and the tingling is doing the same thing, but in reverse.<br />
3354 >It feels exactly like i just slept on my entire body, and it was returning to being awake.<br />
3355 >I can take breaths deep enough to satiate the fire burning inside me<br />
3356 >All it does is takes away one pain and reminds me there's still another<br />
3357 >Those searing hot coals all over my back are back<br />
3358 >Its far more focused though, and centralized<br />
3359 >it's excruciating though<br />
3360 >I think i want to cry again<br />
3361 >that's almost the first sound i make<br />
3362 >but it comes out as sort of an "auugghh" before i realize i need more air again</p>
3364 <br />
3365 <p>>Everyone's in focus, my eyes must be moving and it must be obvious i'm breathing.<br />
3366 >Because the CPR has stopped and i can recognize the girl hovering over me<br />
3367 >Well i can't actually recognize her, her face is a blur but i can see one detail<br />
3368 >She's wearing glasses<br />
3369 >I guess its time to try to move<br />
3370 >Nope that's not gonna work<br />
3371 >The second i twitch a finger, EVERY MUSCLE the entire way up my arm burns<br />
3372 >It's like i've run a marathon and my blood forgot to take the lactic acid away.<br />
3373 >[spoiler]if you don't know what that is, its what makes your muscles hurt, go watch the magic schoolbus or something[/spoiler]</p>
3375 <br />
3376 <p>>whatever was going on, i could move a tiny bit, but it hurt like hell<br />
3377 >it was like all my limbs hadn't finished that waking up process and i was just forcing them into action<br />
3378 >my legs do REALLY hurt though<br />
3379 >I try to lift my head and can't really, i get it like an inch or two before my neck just doesn't work anymore<br />
3380 >It's enough to see that i'm all twisted around<br />
3381 >I don't think i should try moving yet, but this pain is killing me<br />
3382 >It's throbbing like some raging fire in my lower back, i can't get away from it<br />
3383 >I try talking<br />
3384 >gibberish comes out<br />
3385 >oh no, that's not how you talk, let's try this again.</p>
3387 <br />
3388 <p>>"I thought"<br />
3389 >there we go, i got two words out<br />
3390 >I have no clue what i was trying to say though<br />
3391 >let's try this again<br />
3392 >I move my tongue around my mouth, trying to get its bearings, like it needed to be in a specific place for whatever i was going to say next.<br />
3393 >I really can't feel my tongue very well though<br />
3394 >try number #3 at talking<br />
3395 >"Died"<br />
3396 >Yep, that's about right<br />
3397 >I thought i died<br />
3398 >Really i guess i technically was dead for a while there<br />
3399 >I didn't ever ask the girls how long i was really out<br />
3400 >I didn't want to know<br />
3401 >But what you've read is the description of exactly, word to word, feeling to feeling. Of dying.<br />
3402 >[spoiler]The more you know i guess[/spoiler]</p>
3404 <br />
3405 <p>>Those words didn't do much to help any of the girls in the room<br />
3406 >Birthday and homely were scanning my face, as if they could find some kind of solution to fix this, both of them nearly falling apart with looks of despair.<br />
3407 >Glasses was leaning over me staring at my face.<br />
3408 >She was crying<br />
3409 >Her mouth open, and openly sobbing, just the first few teeth showing.<br />
3410 >I couldn't see her eyes, the lenses were covered in tears.</p>
3412 <br />
3413 <p>>i felt the need to do like i always did<br />
3414 >try to brighten the mood with a joke, or something<br />
3415 >i start</p>
3417 <p>>"New Rule"</p>
3419 <p>>Oh man it's hard to talk like this.<br />
3420 >I can't feel my tongue enough to make the words come out correctly<br />
3421 >I can't be sure i didn't sound like i had a lisp, or if i was even saying the words correctly, but i tried<br />
3422 >"No more Dying"<br />
3423 >It felt really sappy<br />
3424 >I feel like i'd seen it in a movie somewhere<br />
3425 >But it worked<br />
3426 >The girls looked like a load dropped off each of their shoulders, and homely/birthday were doing some kind of hugging-cheering thing<br />
3427 >I would describe it in detail but it kinda hurt to look.<br />
3428 >just imagine something generic</p>
3430 <br />
3431 <p>>Someone's going to need to give the Memo to blondie though<br />
3432 >with the Addendum "No more Killing either"<br />
3433 >Oh yeah, wait where is blondie<br />
3434 >That's my new question<br />
3435 >I manage to get her name out for the girl's to hear<br />
3436 >Birthday gets up and vanishes around the side of the kitchen island<br />
3437 >I guess she went to go get her<br />
3438 >there were still a million questions about why she was gone though<br />
3439 >did she leave when she realized i was hurt<br />
3440 >did she not even understand i couldn't breathe?<br />
3441 >i don't even think the girls knew until i turned over and i don't think she was there.<br />
3442 >I guess my questioning face was obvious, because glasses mumbles a quiet "She didn't know"<br />
3443 >I don't know if that's worth forgiving her though</p>
3445 <br />
3446 <p>>The pain in my legs is still there<br />
3447 >Getting worse, i wonder if i broke something or maybe my legs are just never going to work again<br />
3448 >I still can't move my lower torso, or anything without it really hurting<br />
3449 >least i think i can't<br />
3450 >I try<br />
3451 >yep, still REALLY hurts.<br />
3452 >just checking<br />
3453 >I enlist the girls for help<br />
3454 >"My legs"<br />
3455 >Just saying this felt like an awful cliche<br />
3456 >i didn't even say "I can't move my" or "Can't feel my"<br />
3457 >Because really i could move and feel them<br />
3458 >Boy could i feel them.</p>
3460 <br />
3461 <p>>They helped though, i get rolled right way up, and glasses kinda picks me up and props me against one of the lower cabinets so i'm sitting.<br />
3462 >This makes breathing lots harder, but i've almost fully regained use of my lungs so it's alright<br />
3463 >In my mind, how cliche the "My legs" comment came out made me imagine they thought i was disabled or something<br />
3464 >I grit my teeth through the pain and lifted my right knee up and closer to me before setting my foot down.<br />
3465 >There we go, now we all knew my legs worked<br />
3466 >[spoiler]I'll be honest i wasn't really sure myself. glad they did though[/spoiler]<br />
3467 >Next on the list are arms<br />
3468 >These seem to work ok, not as much pain as the legs<br />
3469 >I guess legs were a ton closer to the nerve cluster<br />
3470 >I'm flexing my fingers like they're some kind of new robotic toy when i realize i've been hearing yelling for the past minute<br />
3471 </p>
3473 <p>>Birthday is screaming something in the distance<br />
3474 >Blondie is screaming back<br />
3475 >It doesn't take very long for the screaming to get closer<br />
3476 >It doesn't even seem to be an argument anymore, i just hear shouts from blondie<br />
3477 >I see them both come around into my view in the kitchen<br />
3478 >Well i see the feet and legs<br />
3479 >Blondie doesn't seem to be walking though, birthday is dragging her<br />
3480 >It doesn't even seem to be a fight, Blondie just gets tossed to the floor near me like she was some hunk of meat from a recent hunter's kill<br />
3481 >Even if she's a hunk of meat, she hits the ground like a sack of potatoes, really looks like it hurt<br />
3482 >[spoiler]I don't know if you realized, but Birthday has a way more violent side than all the other women[/spoiler]<br />
3483 >[spoiler] It's not so much as she enjoys hurting people, but when her friends are hurt, she just goes into a mother bear protecting cubs kind of mode[/spoiler]</p>
3485 <p>>[spoiler]It's not something you really want to be on the wrong side of[/spoiler]</p>
3487 <br />
3488 <p>>Before blondie can get up, birthday is more or less on-top of her<br />
3489 >Blondie's trying to get her off, but birthday is the bigger girl, eventually she's just pinned underneath flat on her back.<br />
3490 >There's a lot of screaming during this.<br />
3491 >"LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO HIM" - Birthday<br />
3492 >"WHEN YOU YELLED AT HIM HE HAD A HEART ATTACK AND ALMOST DIED" - Birthday<br />
3493 >w... well i guess it looked like a heart attack</p>
3495 <p>>To them i just kinda flopped over and grabbed my chest<br />
3496 >"I didn't do ANYTHING, he put his hand on me and i SHOVED HIM OFF" - Blondie<br />
3497 >"YOU probably did SOMETHING earlier to him in the BATHROOM ...SLUT" - Blondie<br />
3498 >Oh blondie, no don't start the name calling</p>
3500 <p>>"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SLUT MISS PRISSYPANTS, YOU HAD A SHOWER WITH HIM" - Birthday<br />
3501 >Too late<br />
3502 >"THAT's because he LIKES me BETTER, stop being such a BITCH" - Blondie<br />
3503 >"I BET you SLEEP with all the BOYS you invite over don't you SLUT" - Blondie</p>
3505 <br />
3506 <p>>Now blondie suddenly stopped screaming profanities at Birthday.<br />
3507 >This was only at the point at which Birthday's hands were firmly enclosed around blondie's throat<br />
3508 >And Blondie was getting throttled</p>
3510 <p>>This wasn't nice throttling either<br />
3511 >I'm in horrible agony, so i assume glasses or homely will step in and fix this<br />
3512 >you know... any time now<br />
3513 >any time at all<br />
3514 >Nope, they're just staring<br />
3515 >Blondie at this point was now making the entire orchestral arrangement of sounds that you make when someone's choking you.<br />
3516 >Birthday is screaming all kinds of things like "HE COULD HAVE DIED" and "I'M NOT A SLUT" and "FUCK YOU, YOU'RE A BITCH"<br />
3517 >Normal girl things, you know</p>
3519 <br />
3520 <p>>Blondie is still getting choked though<br />
3521 >I guess i don't have a fucking choice do i<br />
3522 >I put my right arm out onto the tile floor<br />
3523 >Kinda lift my entire body up and swing around it like a pivot<br />
3524 >and i punch Birthday in the jaw<br />
3525 >she's not really as close as i'd like her to be<br />
3526 >I don't really connect properly, i doubt it even really hurt<br />
3527 >But she's surprised enough to be off blondie<br />
3528 >Goal completed, now i'm teetering out here on one arm<br />
3529 >Not going to end well<br />
3530 >I manage to get my punching hand down onto the tile before i crash into it<br />
3531 >It's a rough landing but i end up with my head somewhere warm and soft<br />
3532 >I'm pretty sure i'm lying sideways with my head on Blondie's stomach<br />
3533 >could be worse<br />
3534 >I absolutely can't move anymore, my back is killing me.</p>
3536 <br />
3537 <p>>Birthday screams a "WHAT THE FUCK" off in the corner<br />
3538 >I manage to irk out a "AGAINST THE RULES" really loudly<br />
3539 >I don't know what it sounded like, but i'm sure blondie was confused as fuck and birthday/glasses/homely understood.<br />
3540 >wasn't on my list to make blondie understand</p>
3542 <p>>it's literally only been like 2 minutes since i made that rule<br />
3543 >but already someone tried to break it, for fuck's sake.<br />
3544 >i punctuate it with a<br />
3545 >"If anyone's strangling blondie..."<br />
3546 >I gotta catch a breath, i'm dying<br />
3547 >my back is searing white hot, just moving made it hurt a hell of a lot worse<br />
3548 >"It's going to be me"<br />
3549 >I chuckle to myself<br />
3550 >i'll strangle her later<br />
3551 >The other girls don't seem to be agreeing, there's a hell of a lot of gasping at my comment.<br />
3552 >oh come on, it was funny.</p>
3554 <br />
3555 <p>>They're making really worried sounds and homely keeps repeating "No" and "Ouch"<br />
3556 >It was a joke, i'm sorry.<br />
3557 >I try to make this clear to them in as few words as i can<br />
3558 >i'm interrupted by birthday, who isn't shouting at me anymore<br />
3559 >"No, your back"<br />
3560 >Oh, great, what now<br />
3561 >Probably have a tattoo or something, someone probably did it while i was sleeping.<br />
3562 >i fucking hate sleepovers.<br />
3563 >I'm brought back by imagining what the tattoo is of, by Homely describing a giant red swollen welt, with what looks to be the beginning of a black and blue bruise in the middle.<br />
3564 >Oh, right i'm just gonna lie here for a bit longer<br />
3565 >Blondie's stomach is perfect for relaxing my head on anyway</p>
3567 <br />
3568 <p>>I can hear the girls in the background doing something<br />
3569 >Birthday seems to have decided we need to apply ice and stop it from swelling/getting worse<br />
3570 >The other girls agree<br />
3571 >I figure ice might feel better than this pain<br />
3572 >But i'm distracted by the realization i've got my head firmly on blondie's stomach, and facing what looks to be the waistband of her pants<br />
3573 >and that my weight has pulled the skin away from the waistband just enough for me to almost see inside.<br />
3574 >This mission has my utmost concentration, and through it i manage to stave off the pain<br />
3575 >Being a pervert has its benefits i guess<br />
3576 >Also she fucking owed me</p>
3578 <br />
3579 <p>>Eventually ice is applied<br />
3580 >It felt like [spoiler]You know what ice feels like anon[/spoiler]<br />
3581 >Hint: it was really cold if you forgot.<br />
3582 >and after a substantial amount of lying there in the kitchen<br />
3583 >Half on the floor, half on Blondie's stomach, with other girls fretting around us both and making sure we're ok<br />
3584 >It hurts quite a ton less<br />
3585 >You know back within pain ranges i can manage to describe to fellow anons<br />
3586 >[spoiler]Thousands of Bamboo shoots plunged through your skin at once, or the sensation accompanied by grabbing a pair of pliers and ripping a fingernail straight upwards[/spoiler]<br />
3587 >I hope you flinched<br />
3588 >Serves you right for reading my spoilers<br />
3589 >Point was it hurt really bad, but i could finally take it like a man.<br />
3590 >Sad part was i still never got a peek into her pants, i guess some things weren't meant to be.</p>
3592 <br />
3593 <p>>Eventually i get up<br />
3594 >seems my legs, arms, functioning decently<br />
3595 >I manage to prop myself up on a nearby cabinet and sit against it<br />
3596 >This really hurts, but i have enough motor coordination to hold the ice pack against my back while i do it.<br />
3597 >The ice seems to be really helping, i thank birthday for the wisdom.<br />
3598 >Blondie is still lying there like she's broken or something<br />
3599 >Guess she's just thinking and didn't want to move though,<br />
3600 >Eventually she gets up and sits directly across from me, her legs right beside mine and her toes halfway up my left thigh</p>
3602 <p>>i'm feeling much less dead than i was before, that's a good thing i felt at the time.<br />
3603 >I point out to the group "I... made snacks"<br />
3604 >There's still something crunchy in a bowl, and various cups and what used to be a cold-bottle of soda on the counter.<br />
3605 >The three un-injured girls busy themselves pouring drinks.<br />
3606 >I guess its a welcome thing to busy themselves with</p>
3608 <br />
3609 <p>>Eventually drinks are properly poured and handed out to everyone<br />
3610 >Homely hands me a cup<br />
3611 >I try to hold it<br />
3612 >I can't stop my hands from shaking.<br />
3613 >I'm spilling soda everywhere<br />
3614 >I don't know why.<br />
3615 >Is it finally setting in that i was actually almost dead just a short while ago?<br />
3616 >Is it the pain?<br />
3617 >Did i really fuck something up back there?<br />
3618 >I'm feeling completely ashamed as homely stops my hands and holds them still<br />
3619 >She takes the cup and i feel hopeless again as she helps me drink some of it.<br />
3620 >[spoiler]That's a feel i haven't been over[/spoiler]<br />
3621 >[spoiler]But being an american specially, its ingrained into us to feel like shit when we need to ask for help.[/spoiler]</p>
3623 <p>>[spoiler]No lie, its a part of our culture.[/spoiler]</p>
3625 <br />
3626 <p>>Homely helps me drink another third of the cup, complete with crooning and mama-birding.<br />
3627 >I've had enough of that real quick<br />
3628 >i tell them i'm going to try to stand up<br />
3629 >I do it all in one shot<br />
3630 >One leg, two legs, I'm on my feet<br />
3631 >They still seem to work and i'm not too shaky<br />
3632 >I would talk about how much it hurts, but you know already<br />
3633 >Plus i had to smooth this entire mess out<br />
3634 >Again<br />
3635 >Even though it's really not my fault<br />
3636 >And i should be the last person doing it.<br />
3637 >First step is blondie, i shout her name.</p>
3639 <br />
3640 <p>>She jumps, full body muscle tense, must have been lost in thought.<br />
3641 >She's now looking up at me, i'm sure from where she's sitting she can see how hard i'm white knuckling the counter to stay standing.<br />
3642 >"Apologize!"<br />
3643 >She starts stammering "I... i'm sorry i shoved you i di-<br />
3644 >Awe that's cute, but if she's going to apologize to me it better be on her knees.<br />
3645 >ideally with my pants off.<br />
3646 >"Not me, Birthday" , my tone of voice is flat, i've got no emotions but ow this hurts.<br />
3647 >She looks surprised.<br />
3648 >Not just surprised, that angry sort of "well fuck you too" surprised.<br />
3649 >"Why"<br />
3650 >I'm not dealing with this, we're not arguing<br />
3651 >I just use the oldest trick in the book to fix things<br />
3652 >"Because you owe me." , i've slanted my eyes downward at her angrily when saying this.<br />
3653 >Guilt</p>
3655 <br />
3656 <p>>Perfect acting.<br />
3657 >She's stuck between being angry at birthday, or feeling even worse about hurting me.<br />
3658 >She mumbles some sort of apology<br />
3659 >It's really quiet<br />
3660 >I'm glaring at her and i begin moving my mouth to say "louder"<br />
3661 >she seems to get the idea and repeat it again so that birthday can hear without me saying a word though.<br />
3662 >Birthday knows her part, she gives a curt "Apology accepted" and returns with her own apology about attacking her<br />
3663 >I say "Twice", and birthday looks at me confused for a second before adding an apology for the time she tied up blondie too.<br />
3664 >Blondie doesn't seem willing to accept these until i give her another glare.<br />
3665 >"I accept"<br />
3666 >she doesn't seem very happy about it.</p>
3668 <br />
3669 <p>>This is just the beginning, i spend the next five minutes forcing the girls to recount and apologize<br />
3670 >about every single conceivable little problem they've had with one another,</p>
3672 <p>>or fight they've started this entire time.<br />
3673 >Its very cathartic<br />
3674 >I'm sure everyone feels slightly better than the actual anger less than 30 minutes before.<br />
3675 >Now i have the problem of sorting out everyone's feelings towards me<br />
3676 >Oh man this is gonna be great.<br />
3677 >Well that's what i'm thinking, but my hands are cramping and i just can't force myself to stand anymore.<br />
3678 >I guess my legs are shaking too, and from what i hear i had a grimace the entire time.<br />
3679 >Whatever it was, Blondie seems to realize i'm teetering upon collapse, and i find myself being supported with my arm over her shoulder and hers under mine.</p>
3681 <br />
3682 <p>>Its a welcome change and i can let go of the counter and lean on her instead.<br />
3683 >Because of the amount of clothing we were wearing, my arm was experiencing near full skin contact along her shoulder blades, and hers felt smooth and warm upon mine.<br />
3684 >It was comforting to say the least, but i still had to smooth things over with her myself<br />
3685 >Hell, all the girls had heard the screaming match<br />
3686 >They knew what i had done in the bathroom with birthday, and they probably thought it was a hell lot more than kissing.<br />
3687 >Alright i wasn't going to pussyfoot around this topic<br />
3688 >"I made out with Birthday in the bathroom."<br />
3689 >I say it loudly and clearly like i was some kind of confident stud<br />
3690 >I wasn't, this could backfire in so many ways it wasn't funny<br />
3691 >not to mention i'm pretty sure i couldn't even hope to curl into a ball and tactical roll out of here.</p>
3693 <br />
3694 <p>>I continue<br />
3695 >"She was topless, we had maybe 10 minutes together..."<br />
3696 >My voice is wavering, its a mixture of pain and my confidence slowly draining away as i'm watching the faces of the other girls<br />
3697 >Homely looks hurt, glasses looks sad, blondie just has a grim face on through the entire speech.<br />
3698 >I'm hurting inside and outside, but i've got to finish what i've started<br />
3699 >"It wasn't meant to hurt anyone, but blondie overheard us and it did..."<br />
3700 >On the words 'Blondie' and 'did', the girl in question pulled me closer with the arm she had under my shoulder.<br />
3701 >This stretched my back and really hurt<br />
3702 >i'd like to imagine she didn't know this though.</p>
3704 <br />
3705 <p>>I keep up with the speech.<br />
3706 >I'm dying little by little with each word though, my voice has lost its confidence entirely.<br />
3707 >I know this is going to kill me<br />
3708 >"I didn't mean to lead all of you on like that, it was unfair, and selfish of me"<br />
3709 >I couldn't read their faces anymore<br />
3710 >they were shimmering blurry wet blobs<br />
3711 >i think i was crying<br />
3712 >my back really hurt alright?<br />
3713 >[spoiler] i wasn't feeling guilty ok, don't judge me[/spoiler]<br />
3714 >"I don't blame any of you for being hurt, or angry..."<br />
3715 >on the word "angry" i'm pretty sure one of the girls gives off a snort like a raging bull.<br />
3716 >and i'm wearing hot-pink sweatpants.</p>
3718 <br />
3719 <p>>"But you didn't get your fair chance, and i want to make it up to you"<br />
3720 >I think my voice even cracked a little bit there, from the back pain of course.<br />
3721 >I'm done with my speech though, i sink a little on my knees and lean on blondie more.<br />
3722 >i figure if she's going to drop me, i might as well be ready for it<br />
3723 >I calculate atleast two full rolls before i'm overcome with pain and can't get away.<br />
3724 >I'm trying to decide in which position i want to take my deadly beating (i've decided i want to make some sort of heroic pose wherever i stop rolling on the floor)<br />
3725 >I'm interrupted by a voice from across the kitchen, it sounds like homely but i'm not looking up in that direction so i'm not sure.<br />
3726 >"Ten minutes, Each."<br />
3727 >N... not what i was expe-<br />
3728 >"Fifteen, Alone." That was blondie's voice right next to me<br />
3729 >It was cold and angry<br />
3730 >I might not get to choose which pose i die in after all.</p>
3732 <br />
3733 <p>>I'm not even able to interrupt before the girls are haggling amongst one another<br />
3734 >Fifteen minutes alone, Same amount of clothing as Birthday had or more.<br />
3735 >Then the kicker<br />
3736 >Birthday had to sit outside the door and listen, she could only stop it when 15 minutes were up.<br />
3737 >Because she had cheated and tried to hide it.<br />
3738 >Ouch<br />
3739 >Women man, i mean this sounds awesome and all but ouch<br />
3740 >Imagine if a group of guys got 15 minutes of "free time" each in a bathroom with a girl you were crushing hard on, and you were forced to listen.<br />
3741 >Yeah, thats fucking harsh.</p>
3743 <br />
3744 <p>>Women are truly all cutthroat conniving masters of emotional torture<br />
3745 >Poor birthday<br />
3746 >I'm actually speaking up to contest this kicker when birthday pops up with her opinion<br />
3747 >"That's fine by me" - Its dull, emotionless, no expression on her face.<br />
3748 >My lord, this woman is tougher than me<br />
3749 >May her heart rest in pieces at the bottom of her chest cavity. Rip.</p>
3751 <p>>Maybe she just hates me, it would just be better that way.<br />
3752 >Either way, i wasn't much better off<br />
3753 >As long as this back hurt like this, i was definitely a broken man.<br />
3754 >The mind was willing, but the body was actually weak and bruised.</p>
3756 <br />
3757 <p>>I try to explain the amount of agony i'm in simply being held up by blondie in the kitchen<br />
3758 >They want none of it<br />
3759 >It's happening<br />
3760 >Thisisthegraveyoudugnowlieinit.psd<br />
3761 >I have the feeling that they're just angry at me and one another, and using this as a way to get even.<br />
3762 >I have the sneaking and very strong suspicion that the entire time they'll try to flaunt everything to the other women to get back at them.<br />
3763 >Even though they fucking apologized and accepted it and everything<br />
3764 >Why aren't they bros yet<br />
3765 >What ever happened to no hard feelings<br />
3766 >God they're truly evil creatures.<br />
3767 >They decide to play rock-paper-scissors for who gets first turn.<br />
3768 >Evil i tell you</p>
3770 <br />
3771 <p>>First round and Blondie gets rock with her free hand,<br />
3772 >Glasses does rock and homely does scissors.<br />
3773 >Last place thucka, take that.<br />
3774 >Second round<br />
3775 >They both pick Scissors<br />
3776 >Third round<br />
3777 >Scissors<br />
3778 >Fourth Round<br />
3779 >Scissors<br />
3780 >Really, come on now, two girls just Scissoring one another, who does that.<br />
3781 >There's probably children reading this story, keep it PG girls.<br />
3782 >[spoiler]If there are children reading this story i promise i won't tell your parents[/spoiler]<br />
3783 >[spoiler]if there are parents reading this story i promise i won't tell your children[/spoiler]</p>
3785 <br />
3786 <p>>You don't really care what the final results were, but Glasses won with her masterful ability to win every game she plays.<br />
3787 >It might be just one of those lesser-known superpowers.<br />
3788 >Whatever it was, i found her arm under my other shoulder and her taking weight off blondie.<br />
3789 >I'm then corralled and dragged off towards the master bedroom, with the others in tow.<br />
3790 >I glance at the clock as we go by<br />
3791 >4:15<br />
3792 >I sure hope i can survive the next 45 minutes<br />
3793 >That hope is instantly crushed as i realize exactly how painful it is to walk.<br />
3794 >I'm actually atleast 5-10% more dead by the time i get to the bedroom.<br />
3795 >I've got pain written all over my face, and i know glasses can see it.<br />
3796 >But she's got a straight face the entire time.</p>
3798 <br />
3799 <p>>We make it into the master bedroom and homely/blondie are locked outside.<br />
3800 >No eavesdropping for them<br />
3801 >I don't make it more than halfway into the room before flopping onto the bed<br />
3802 >I don't want to move anymore<br />
3803 >I ask if we can just do it here on the bed because its soft and i won't have to move, but i get a hard "No" from glasses.<br />
3804 >):<br />
3805 >I guess it's meaner if we don't let birthday watch, man that poor girl<br />
3806 >I get picked up again and dragged towards the bathroom<br />
3807 >I try to think up ways i can make it better for birthday<br />
3808 >I'm really hurting though, so i can't really think as well as i want to.<br />
3809 >I just come up with the plan of whispering something in her ear as i go into the bathroom<br />
3810 >Birthday is just standing there with a sad look on her face holding the door for us and looking at the clock.<br />
3811 >I get dragged nearby her, and i squeeze glasses for a second to get her to stop<br />
3812 >I lean over and whisper in birthday's ear<br />
3813 >"I fucked your mother"<br />
3814 >The last thing she sees is glasses' shit-eating-grin.<br />
3815 >The door slams behind us<br />
3816 >I hear various loud bangs in the other room</p>
3818 <br />
3819 <p>>I realize when we're inside that i did not put the words out that i wanted to put out<br />
3820 >Frankly i don't think i could have said any sentence in the world that would have possibly been worse.<br />
3821 >not a single one, not anything<br />
3822 >Glasses is almost giggling to herself, she definitely heard<br />
3823 >She's lowering me to the ground softly with the biggest smile on her face.<br />
3824 >She probably thinks my plan is great<br />
3825 >I don't have a plan<br />
3826 >She's probably going to painfully rape me<br />
3827 >Someone please tell me what my plan is<br />
3828 >and then i'm going to be killed as soon as i step outside.</p>
3830 <p>>Anyone</p>
3832 <br />
3833 <p>>Glasses tries to lower me to the floor back-first<br />
3834 >I touch the tile and it stings HORRIBLY<br />
3835 >It's two seconds before i'm on my front pressing my cheek against the cool tiles.<br />
3836 >I'm really hurting all over, not as bad as earlier but i do not want to partake in sexytime.<br />
3837 >I try to make this clear "Could... we just not do anything?"<br />
3838 >This is a plea, a real, plea<br />
3839 >There's hope in my voice<br />
3840 >i'm internally screaming "come on glasses ill make it up to you later i promise".<br />
3841 >She's direct as always<br />
3842 >"Nope"<br />
3843 >Its loud, i know she's said it intentionally like that with glee in her voice<br />
3844 >There's more angry sounds outside the door<br />
3845 >Im so sorry birthday<br />
3846 >I'm preparing for whatever large phallic objects are going to be inserted into my body<br />
3847 >My mind isn't willing nor is my body ready, but i'm doomed<br />
3848 >I can't see what she's doing, but i know its coming.<br />
3849 >It's at that moment that i feel something cold, and very slimy squirt all over my back</p>
3851 <br />
3852 <p>>Now i'm just confused<br />
3853 >Atleast the Rape train is bringing lube, even if it doesn't have any brakes.<br />
3854 >I just brace for impact<br />
3855 >I feel a hand<br />
3856 >another hand<br />
3857 >She's got both her hands on my back<br />
3858 >It actually feels really nice, even if it's a tad tender<br />
3859 >She starts rubbing my back<br />
3860 >I get a whiff of whatever the cold liquid was<br />
3861 >It was lotion, she's giving me a backrub.<br />
3862 >Well it was a backrub until she rubs a little closer to the tender spot<br />
3863 >I let out an "auughh", its loud because it does really hurt.<br />
3864 >But her hands feel wonderful<br />
3865 >She responds with "How do you like that , big-boy?" and a soft (but very audible) moan of her own.<br />
3866 >Oh no glasses this is dirty</p>
3868 <br />
3869 <br />
3870 <p>http://boards.4chan.org/r9k/res/11303026</p>
3872 <p><a href="http://archive.heinessen.com/r9k/thread/11303026" >http://archive.heinessen.com/r9k/thread/11303026</a></p>
3874 <br />
3875 <p>>She continually alternates between firmly massaging my tense muscles, to lightly prodding the tender portion of my back.<br />
3876 >Each time she hits something that hurts, i can't help but let out a sound<br />
3877 >*Groan*<br />
3878 >"Ooohhh"<br />
3879 >"Hyummg"<br />
3880 >"Hooough"<br />
3881 >Every time she makes me make one of these sounds, she responds with a sexy moan of her own.<br />
3882 >Sometimes its throaty and guttural<br />
3883 >Sometimes its shrill and more of a squeak<br />
3884 >Sometimes it was just a long exasperated gasp of contentment<br />
3885 >But it's always loud<br />
3886 >I feel terrible for doing this, but the massage feels absolutely amazing<br />
3887 >And it's definitely helping my back,<br />
3888 >Well until she runs out of lotion and her hands stop sliding so well across it.<br />
3889 >I take the bait</p>
3891 <br />
3892 <p>>I loudly state "It needs to be wetter", intentionally changing the pitch of my voice halfway through.<br />
3893 >I can almost hear her smiling<br />
3894 >Her voice echoes through the bathroom "I'm SoRrY i can't HeLp IT" , every letter with a singsong pitch.<br />
3895 >Oh man, i'm dying of guilty laughter on the inside.<br />
3896 >She does get more lotion though, and the awesome backrub continues.<br />
3897 >I'm really in backrub paradise and i'm fully into it<br />
3898 >i even start giving out tiny moans of my own when she's not even near anything sore<br />
3899 >It takes her a tiny bit more rubbing before she hands me a question on a silver platter.<br />
3900 >"Are you close?"<br />
3901 >I don't even respond in words, she gets a "mmmhhmmmmm" as loud as i can manage.<br />
3902 >Her pace intensifies, she's focusing more on my tender areas and working out the constricted knot of muscles from all the pain.<br />
3903 >I can't help it, i'm making every sound in the book, very close together.<br />
3904 >She's breathing loudly, she's letting out little tiny carefully planned sounds, squeaks, squeals, giggles.<br />
3905 >She's got a mental timer it seems, because eventually she just takes both hands and firmly presses into the tender spot i hit the counter.<br />
3906 >I let out a long, exasperated "Auuuuuuughhuhhuhhhghhh" and she matches it with the loudest most content sigh you'll ever hear.<br />
3907 >This woman is an evil mastermind.<br />
3908 >I love it.<br />
3909 </p>
3911 <p>>She seems to be counting in her head, so she helps me up and then moves me back to the toilet<br />
3912 >I then get draped one arm over it, the other hanging loose, and she makes a goofy smile at me.<br />
3913 >I get the hint<br />
3914 >I put on the dumbest most satisfied face i can<br />
3915 >She starts washing her hands, and is drying up as there's a knock at the door<br />
3916 >Birthday's voice is shrill as she announces time's up<br />
3917 >It's obvious she's trying to hide her emotions.<br />
3918 >The door opens and she sees Glasses just finishing washing her hands, and me in the corner with a goofy smile.<br />
3919 >I feel bad, i really do, but i enjoyed that far far too much.<br />
3920 >But its time for me to get up<br />
3921 >Miraculously i can stand and i don't fall down anymore, fucking miracles.<br />
3922 >I walk out of the bathroom on only my own two feet, and i lean over to birthday as we leave.<br />
3923 >Poor girl has a sad look on her face.<br />
3924 >ill fix that.<br />
3925 >"At Least with your mother, i was thinking of you the entire time"</p>
3927 <br />
3928 <p><br />
3929 >Well its not sad anymore<br />
3930 >That wasn't a compliment if any anons are confused.<br />
3931 >It's a mixture of quizzical and angry.<br />
3932 >I laugh, i force it to be a belly laugh and vibrate the air around me softly.<br />
3933 >This really hurts my back, but its worth it.<br />
3934 >The steam coming out of Birthday's ears is priceless, i can hear it hissing like a teapot in the background as i walk away and follow Glasses to the bedroom door.<br />
3935 >Next up is Blondie<br />
3936 >I remember i should ask Glasses to remove all sharp objects from the bathroom, but i can't get to her in time before the changing of the guards occurs.<br />
3937 >Blondie doesn't come in happily though<br />
3938 >The second she's inside she's got her hands on her hips<br />
3939 >I'm getting daggered via eyes again<br />
3940 >I need to come up with a cute name for that, Eyedags? Dageyes? The women use it so often i should just have it ready.</p>
3942 <p>>She's firing the damn things at me, just know that.</p>
3944 <br />
3945 <p>>She's not one for talking this round, she just grabs my waist and drags me along with her<br />
3946 >Her hands go right where i really don't want them, and she even digs in a little<br />
3947 >It's all i can do from screaming as she shoves me towards the bathroom.<br />
3948 >Really just you had to grab me there you dick<br />
3949 >Blondie just struts into the bathroom ahead of me and stands there one hand on hip and a prim glare on her face.<br />
3950 >I'm wincing in pain as i limp over towards birthday at the bathroom door again<br />
3951 >She's furious, i get close to her again<br />
3952 >"Atleast she's got cute boobs, unlike yours"<br />
3953 >Before she can even realize what i've said, i've slipped out of her grasp as she grabs after me.<br />
3954 >I close the door behind me and lock it<br />
3955 >then i yell "LUMPY" right through it.<br />
3956 >The banging means its working</p>
3958 <br />
3959 <p>>I turn to face blondie<br />
3960 >I catch the corner of her mouth in a smile, she doesn't know what i'm doing but she enjoyed the compliment.<br />
3961 >I guess hearing your boobs are nicer than another girl's is pretty good<br />
3962 >I'm smiling, hopefully this won't turn out as bad as i hope it doesn't.<br />
3963 >Who am i kidding, i'm doomed.<br />
3964 >Alright blondie do your worst<br />
3965 >She's still just standing there<br />
3966 >One hand on her hip , the other leaning on the counter<br />
3967 >She's kind of scary<br />
3968 >She's just got this half smile on and glaring daggers at me.<br />
3969 >Yep, i'm doomed.</p>
3971 <br />
3972 <p>>It's a good many minutes later now</p>
3974 <p>>i think we're having a staring contest.<br />
3975 >I think i've blinked multiple times<br />
3976 >She's definitely winning, i'm not sure what we're doing but i might as well try to start something<br />
3977 >I take a step towards her<br />
3978 >She takes a step back<br />
3979 >I take another step towards her<br />
3980 >She takes another step back<br />
3981 >She's still got the same expression on her face, i can't read her at all.<br />
3982 >Hmm, i sure hope this isn't one of those parts where i have to fight my evil female mirror clone.<br />
3983 >I continue the one step forward one step back routine with her until she's backed her way into the large shower stall and against the far wall.<br />
3984 >I take another step, she can't move, she doesn't move.<br />
3985 >Two more steps and i'm in the shower area with her<br />
3986 >She's not smiling anymore, well... she is but it's not a real smile.<br />
3987 >It's a shallow sad smile, the kind of one you put on when you realize something cool can't ever happen because the laws of physics just don't want to cooperate.</p>
3989 <br />
3990 <p>>It's not a happy smile, i'm really not even sure why i got closer to her if she's going to just look at me like that.<br />
3991 >I do take a couple steps closer though<br />
3992 >I'm within arms reach<br />
3993 >But i know better, i'm not going to initiate contact<br />
3994 >Instead i just put on a warmer smile than the one i was holding<br />
3995 >I guess i was giving a hurt smile, it made sense because her reaction hurt, and my back hurt, and i was doing a bad job of hiding both.<br />
3996 >We continue the staring contest from this position<br />
3997 >Eventually i get restless<br />
3998 >I take the safer route of building bridges and extend my hand, beckoning for hers.<br />
3999 >She shakes her head, a prompt and swift back and forth.<br />
4000 >Her smile is gone, she holds the slightest pout after this movement.<br />
4001 >I don't know what she wants from me.</p>
4003 <br />
4004 <p>>I ask the question, one word<br />
4005 >"Why?"<br />
4006 >I try to enforce as much intent and curiosity into it as possible<br />
4007 >I try to make it seem as non threatening as i can<br />
4008 >It's another full minute, i just hold my hand outstretched<br />
4009 >I know this sounds cliche, like i'm asking the girl to join me on a dance and i'll just stand there waiting for her to take my hand.<br />
4010 >But let me break the bad news<br />
4011 >[spoiler]Your arms aren't really meant to be held stretched out in front of you[/spoiler]<br />
4012 >[spoiler]When you see a character stretch out like that and hold it for more than 30 seconds[/spoiler]<br />
4013 >[spoiler]His muscles are fucking BURNING[/spoiler]<br />
4014 >[spoiler]He's dying, he's hiding it on his face but his arm feels like it's going to fall off.[/spoiler]</p>
4016 <br />
4017 <p>>After about a minute or two, i dropped my arm<br />
4018 >To her this probably looked like the invitation was over<br />
4019 >But to me, it felt like my arm was going to drop off<br />
4020 >Instead i switched to the other arm<br />
4021 >I can't even imagine how awkward this looked<br />
4022 >like on a list of giant fuckups that make you look like a massive loser, one of them is not being able to hold your arm out for serious extended periods of time to woo the ladies.<br />
4023 >[spoiler]i felt like an awkward fucking child extending that other arm[/spoiler]<br />
4024 >[spoiler]But my first arm really burned, and my back hurt, and the music was too loud, and i just wanted to go home.[/spoiler]</p>
4026 <br />
4027 <p>>Extending the other arm got another shake of her head though, i guess it was a reaction.<br />
4028 >I cautiously considered dropping the second arm and putting up the first again, maybe i could get another shake?<br />
4029 >I'm weighing the odds involved with that idea when she finally speaks.<br />
4030 >"It's alright, go sit down"<br />
4031 >w... what<br />
4032 >that mental thought must have broadcast across all female radio waves, because she gets the question and doubles down.<br />
4033 >"I know your back hurts, go sit down."<br />
4034 >There's nothing but soft compassion in her voice, i'm completely taken aback<br />
4035 >This was not the Blondie experience i had mentally prepared for<br />
4036 >Nor was it the one she wanted<br />
4037 >She was pulling one of those attention-seeking moments wasn't she, i knew it.<br />
4038 >I wasn't going to let this go unchallenged, i wasn't going to fall for it.<br />
4039 >"You were the one who asked for 15 minutes weren't you?"<br />
4040 >It's again genuinely curious and soft, i'm trying to keep from threatening her in any way.<br />
4041 >The answer is fast, almost too fast, like it was on her mind the entire time and she was just waiting for me to ask.<br />
4042 >"I don't deserve it"</p>
4044 <br />
4045 <p>>Well shit there's like a thousand things that could mean<br />
4046 >I know what it sounds like it means, but she's a girl remember, it doesn't mean whatever you think it means.<br />
4047 >The first and most likely is that she's digging for compliments, she's trying to trick me into feeding her a "No, of course you deserve it"<br />
4048 >Of course this could be exactly what she doesn't want to hear<br />
4049 > She could genuinely think that she doesn't deserve to spend 15 minutes alone with me because she's guilty for hurting me.<br />
4050 >Or both of those could be completely wrong and she wants another "Why", so that she can explain why she didn't deserve it and talk about herself more.<br />
4051 >Which in itself could just be another plea for attention<br />
4052 >Even more likely still, she could just be feeling bad for me and my back, and be lying and saying "She doesn't deserve it" to convince me to sit down and stop hurting.<br />
4053 >whereas in reality she wants my company for 15 minutes just as badly as the other girls did.<br />
4054 >That or she could just have not wanted to come in here in the first place, is only doing it to screw with birthday for choking her, and she doesn't want anything to do with me so she's making sure i don't do anything.<br />
4055 >It comes to mind that my girl translator is in the shop and i could really use it right now.<br />
4056 </p>
4058 <p>>I'm pretty sure all of those answers are a trap<br />
4059 >So i go with the safe option<br />
4060 >"Yes"<br />
4061 >There's one word for her facial expression<br />
4062 >Livid<br />
4063 >I knew i had made the right choice, all the others were traps but not this one.<br />
4064 >I had simply agreed with her, no harm in that.<br />
4065 >That's how it works right? Always agree with women and they'll love ya.<br />
4066 >Her teeth were slowly clenching<br />
4067 >Her eyes were boiling, i could see bubbles welling up<br />
4068 >I told you guys this was the perfect answer.</p>
4070 <br />
4071 <br />
4072 <p>>I just let her stew a moment, i keep a calm peaceful smile on the entire time.<br />
4073 >I've got to try really hard to keep the expression on my face though, it's obvious she's going to try to murder me in mere moments.<br />
4074 >As she prepares the final step of her assassination attempt, bringing the scissors to the rope starting the rube-goldberg machine of Storybro-doom.<br />
4075 >I stammer "I... i mean of course i don't deserve it!"<br />
4076 >Target hit, the fire in her eyes is dead on "I don't deserve it"<br />
4077 >I keep the ball rolling though, i've got to if i want to get out of this alive<br />
4078 >"I mean it was incredibly kind of you to make it 15 minutes just for the other girls"<br />
4079 >She was lost now, i hadn't just misheard her and agreed<br />
4080 >I had misheard, agreed and complimented her kindness, while clearly stating she was being generous and superior to myself.<br />
4081 >I've got her stunned and confused, its time to throw the pokeball<br />
4082 >"Thank you, i'll go sit down"<br />
4083 >I'm spamming the B button as i turn away slowly<br />
4084 >I feel her hand grab mine.<br />
4085 >You've captured, Blondie.<br />
4086 >[spoiler]Do you want to nickname your pokemon? Y/N[/spoiler]</p>
4088 <br />
4089 <p><br />
4090 >I turn back to face her<br />
4091 >She's got a cute little smile on now, mischievous, much better than what she was wearing before.<br />
4092 >She's not looking me in the eyes though, she's just holding onto my hand with both of hers<br />
4093 >My little blondie can't possibly be this cute<br />
4094 >[spoiler]For those of you who don't understand what happened, the entire game is played with words, she wants you to play down her path and she'll judge you as you go[/spoiler]<br />
4095 >[spoiler] the only way to win is follow her path perfectly the way she wants you to (which is impossible) or make another path that you can't lose.[/spoiler]<br />
4096 >[spoiler]So i insulted her, redirected the insult at myself to set her off guard, and then i complimented her in various ways, and tried to take her advice and treat it as kindness[/spoiler]<br />
4097 >[spoiler] Because her goal was never to actually have me sit down, she stopped me[/spoiler]<br />
4098 >[spoiler]Welcome to surviving women 101, enjoy your stay lonely anons[/spoiler]<br />
4099 >"I'm sorry"<br />
4100 >"I didn't mean it"<br />
4101 >Man i sure hope she said those and not me.<br />
4102 </p>
4104 <p>>Don't worry, she said it.<br />
4105 >With those words, she's established she was still interested and wasn't just doing it to spite the other women<br />
4106 >That in my book was no small victory, i was really out on a line there.<br />
4107 >I take my victory and advance bravely forward, placing one hand on her waist and pulling her two hands up along with my other.<br />
4108 >I drop one off on my right<br />
4109 >I drop one off on my left<br />
4110 >Why look at that miss, you've got your hands on the shoulders of a strapping young lad.<br />
4111 >I place my other hand upon her waist and we start dancing to a silent tune<br />
4112 >[spoiler]when i say dancing i mean we trip over one another's feet and fall out of the shower the second i try to make us dance[/spoiler]<br />
4113 >[spoiler]We were both white, i don't know what i was expecting[/spoiler]</p>
4115 <br />
4116 <p>>Either way, we're outside the shower on the ground and it's all giggles.<br />
4117 >[spoiler]Dancing isn't a thing you just know how to do, it takes actual effort and serious practice to get it at all.[/spoiler]<br />
4118 >[spoiler]Specially dancing with a partner.[/spoiler]<br />
4119 >I proceed to tickle her, citing her lack of tickling earlier as a negative that must be solved<br />
4120 >I've got my hands roaming where i want them, i even cop in a couple of feels of her breasts through her blue bra<br />
4121 >Soft and squishy if you must ask<br />
4122 >I keep this up for a minute before she asks me to stop, and i do.<br />
4123 >Because the one time stop always means stop is when you're tickling someone.<br />
4124 >I mean you can keep going, but don't expect to like the results anons.<br />
4125 </p>
4127 <p>>I take this as a hint to actually kiss her<br />
4128 >I take aim and fire<br />
4129 >I miss<br />
4130 >what<br />
4131 >how do you even miss kissing someone<br />
4132 >i try again<br />
4133 >She's dodging.<br />
4134 >I knew i wasn't that bad at kissing.<br />
4135 >Every time i come back up she's got her tongue out and is taunting me<br />
4136 >Whatever, i'll go for a more stationary target<br />
4137 >I get her bellybutton<br />
4138 >RASPBERRY<br />
4139 >I get about three seconds into it and she's giggling and squirming<br />
4140 >zeus i love making girls giggle, it's one of the best feelings in the world<br />
4141 >Unless its blondie<br />
4142 >Then she just knees you in the chest</p>
4144 <br />
4145 <p>>It's not hard, but it's enough to hurt<br />
4146 >"Oww, i swear Blondie"<br />
4147 >I'm playfully growling now<br />
4148 >I mean everything hurts, anyway, a little more chest pain ain't gonna make my back hurt any more or less<br />
4149 >Plus i expected it, i had my crotch not anywhere close to her legs.<br />
4150 >I swear i'm learning<br />
4151 >She's giggling up a storm though, but manages to squeak out an "I'm sorry!"<br />
4152 >I swear to god girl, next time i try to have my way with you, i'm tying you up first.<br />
4153 >i tell her this, it's too good a thought to waste<br />
4154 >She turns the same color crimson as the bath towel on the rack behind her<br />
4155 >Not just her cheeks, upper chest and all.</p>
4157 <p>>Come to think of it, there's a pesky piece of clothing between me and her that i'd love to remove.<br />
4158 >I pull her forward off the ground a bit, and reach behind her.<br />
4159 >Her eyes tell me she knows what i'm going to do, her smile tells me it's ok.<br />
4160 >But her mouth itself, it tells me "No, Against the Rules"<br />
4161 >Well fuck the rules</p>
4163 <br />
4164 <p>>I place my fingers one above and to the left, one below and to the right.<br />
4165 >I twist, just like i did earlier with Birthday<br />
4166 >I remove my hand thinking the deed was done<br />
4167 >Wait a second, it's still on her shoulders, there's no slack in the line.<br />
4168 >"One second" I interrupt our intimate moment by flipping blondie over and looking at her back.<br />
4169 >I need to know why i failed, why my troops returned empty handed.<br />
4170 >Velcro, my mortal nemesis<br />
4171 >It's alright, i can see what i'm doing, i've got this<br />
4172 >I start fumbling with the clasp<br />
4173 >I'm holding her up with the other hand, velcro with one hand isn't possible anons.<br />
4174 >There's a knock on the door<br />
4175 >Time's up.<br />
4176 >FUCK<br />
4177 >It's been 15 minutes already<br />
4178 >We wasted far too much time just doing nothing ):</p>
4180 <br />
4181 <p>>I get up and lift blondie to her feet<br />
4182 >She's a little tussled<br />
4183 > i sort out her hair so it's not a mess and toss her a comb to fix the rest,<br />
4184 >I'm obviously taking too long because the banging at the door is telling me birthday thinks we're cheating<br />
4185 >We open it<br />
4186 >Birthday is mad<br />
4187 >She's mad at me, she's mad we locked the door, she's mad at everything<br />
4188 >I just take my fingers and draw perfectly round circles in the air while looking at her.<br />
4189 >I then crabtunnel my way out of her reach and across the room<br />
4190 >It's the changing of the guard again Blondie for homely.<br />
4191 >However unlike glasses, blondie gives me a public kiss of affection on the cheek as she leaves, plain for everyone to see.<br />
4192 >Territory marked i guess<br />
4193 >Homely doesn't seem phased, she's cool and collected, a smile on her face.<br />
4194 >I really don't like her smile</p>
4196 <br />
4197 <p>>I couldn't help it though, i needed to use her as a wall between me and birthday to get into the bathroom.<br />
4198 >I hugged Homely the entire way across, making sure she was always between me and birthday<br />
4199 >i really hoped homely was willing to cooperate with my dangerous plan<br />
4200 >only one way to find out<br />
4201 >when we get past the Birthday demon guarding the gate to the forbidden realm...<br />
4202 >I shout<br />
4203 >"Bigger is always better!"<br />
4204 >and i grab a fistful of Homely's breasts through her shirt and wink at birthday.<br />
4205 >It takes both of us to slam the door closed and get it locked<br />
4206 >Thank god homely was on board, that poor girl outside was ready to explode.<br />
4207 >She was having the best birthday ever.</p>
4209 <br />
4210 <p>>On second thought, i've just locked myself inside this bathroom with homely<br />
4211 >For 15 minutes<br />
4212 >It can't be that bad<br />
4213 >I'm atleast SL130<br />
4214 >i got this<br />
4215 >I retreat backwards to the middle of the room<br />
4216 >I take a bow<br />
4217 >I step forward slightly with arms outstretched and ask "Well! what is it?"<br />
4218 >She seems unfazed, i'm worried she knows something i don't.<br />
4219 >"Take off your pants"<br />
4220 >...<br />
4221 >....<br />
4222 >[spoiler]Its a hacker, i've already lost[/spoiler]</p>
4224 <br />
4225 <p>>"R... rules?"<br />
4226 >This comes out as an awful high pitched voice-cracking question<br />
4227 >"They only apply to me, not you."<br />
4228 >The level of confidence in her tone of voice is astounding, she's completely serious<br />
4229 >She's had 30+ minutes to think about this<br />
4230 >Why didn't i think this was a threat<br />
4231 >I don't know how to escape this<br />
4232 >In terms of actual thought processes they all shut down<br />
4233 >I just kind of shut up and take off my pants<br />
4234 >I've got those girl's light blue boxers underneath<br />
4235 >My brain turns back on in time to realize this is the last female i want to be undressing in a bathroom with.<br />
4236 >I retort with the best i can think of at the time, which is trying to embarrass her into inaction.<br />
4237 >"Alright, your turn"<br />
4238 >I keep a straight face the entire time<br />
4239 >She just shakes her head and says "Nope"<br />
4240 >Haha, i win!<br />
4241 >"You get to do it."</p>
4243 <br />
4244 <p>>...<br />
4245 >I'm not getting out of this alive.<br />
4246 >This is what i get for trying to help birthday and using homely as a prop<br />
4247 >I asked for this<br />
4248 >*shrug*<br />
4249 >Plan C?<br />
4250 >I pretend that i'm alright with her plan and walk forward a couple steps before doubling over in pain.<br />
4251 >My back doesn't hurt that much anymore, but she doesn't know that<br />
4252 >I take a knee, and feign excruciating pain<br />
4253 >"She's not having any of that either, before i even realize what's going on she's calling me a "Poor baby" and shoving one of her bare breasts in my face.<br />
4254 >"Suck this, mommy will make this all better"<br />
4255 >Hold the fuck on<br />
4256 >This isn't even hot<br />
4257 >This is like some shitty dialogue from an awful hentai<br />
4258 >I'm pretty sure that's where she's learned this, i can't comprehend the thought processes she's having.<br />
4259 >Who does something like this<br />
4260 >I fall back onto my hands and butt and i'm physically trying to lean as far away from her as possible<br />
4261 >I have one question on my mind<br />
4262 >"Why are you doing this?"<br />
4263 >I am worried, not just for myself, but for whatever Apollo forsaken reason she's coming onto me like this.<br />
4264 >She has one answer<br />
4265 >"Because the other girls won't"</p>
4267 <br />
4268 <p>>Hold the fuck on homely<br />
4269 >That's not how it works<br />
4270 >I know exactly what she's doing and i would be an absolutely horrible person if i let it go through<br />
4271 >[spoiler]As i've said before, homely has an absolutely awful personality, and although she's moderately attractive, i can't stand her, nor do i like her body type.[/spoiler]<br />
4272 >[spoiler]She backstabs others constantly, belittles insignificant flaws in friends and is just generally a horrible spoilsport.[/spoiler]<br />
4273 >[spoiler]She's not the best looking and she has an awful personality, so she's a very ugly person overall[/spoiler]<br />
4274 >[spoiler]As a result, she gets very little attention from males, to the extent at which she's found very few ways to express herself properly to attract the attention of them[/spoiler]<br />
4275 >[spoiler]Earlier in the sleepover she was aggressive, but rather tame, i showed her no affections and her attempts to earn them failed[/spoiler]<br />
4276 >[spoiler] But she begins acting lewd and she gets my attention, notice the pattern[/spoiler]<br />
4277 </p>
4279 <p>>Through me entirely, she's learned that the way to stand out from the group and get attention is to act more or less a total slut.<br />
4280 >She's got no redeeming qualities otherwise<br />
4281 >She's trying to compete with all the other girls strictly on the field of sex<br />
4282 >While ignoring the fact that every single one offers me something more.<br />
4283 >She's acting this way entirely from things she's watched, she has no clue what she's actually doing besides seeking attention.<br />
4284 >I might hate homely, but i would be an absolutely shit person if i threw her to the ground and fucked her brains out right here.<br />
4285 >Was the penis willing? Of course, but the guilt would kill me afterwards.<br />
4286 >That's shamelessly reinforcing a whore's mentality for a lifetime, just to get my dick wet once.<br />
4287 >[spoiler]The sad part is that many anons would just do it, i guess it's your choice, but i couldn't[/spoiler]<br />
4288 >[spoiler]This is every camwhore thread on /b/, most male/female threads on soc, and various other examples in every other place you can imagine[/spoiler]<br />
4289 >[spoiler]Why do you think they show tits? cock? Because they feel they have nothing going for them but sex appeal[/spoiler]</p>
4291 <br />
4292 <p>>Mind you this was not a light decision<br />
4293 >If you could quantify the force my penis was exacting upon my mental capabilities it would be counteracting huge swaths of logic.<br />
4294 >My crotch was actually creating anti-gravity fields, lifting me off my feet and dragging me across the room towards her.<br />
4295 >The mere fact this happens in males is my one biggest hatred of us as a species, but its something i can't fix.</p>
4297 <p>>Somehow i managed to come to the above conclusion while hovering across the room<br />
4298 >When i looked up, Homely was untying the knot in her pants</p>
4300 <br />
4301 <p>>"Storybro" - This was her saying my full name<br />
4302 >She had a searching look in her eyes, i knew she wanted me to look at her.<br />
4303 >She waited until my eyes were drawn to where her hands were, slipped lightly into the waistband of both sides of her pants.<br />
4304 >She started sliding them down<br />
4305 >I saw her lower navel, the V crease that all women had just started to appear<br />
4306 >"Stop"<br />
4307 >I don't know how i said it, my heart was beating a thousand miles a minute<br />
4308 >I was so ready to just let go of logic and go for it, but that little voice on the inside was screaming otherwise.<br />
4309 >He's the guy who reminds you that you have standards for a reason, that you'll fuck anything but standards let you live with yourself in the morning.<br />
4310 >I would regret this, long before it was morning again.<br />
4311 >So i just blurted it out<br />
4312 >"Give me a reason, and i will"</p>
4314 <br />
4315 <p>>She pauses everything, all motion<br />
4316 >I can see her thoughts flowing back and forth<br />
4317 >"Don't you want to?"<br />
4318 >She said it in the most teasing way possible.<br />
4319 >Its the question i dreaded<br />
4320 >Gods yes woman i want to<br />
4321 >But it would be empty, meaningless<br />
4322 >"It needs to be special"<br />
4323 >Those were the words i picked, the ones that mixed everything i could into a package as easy to understand as i could<br />
4324 >I knew i was being a hypocritical fuck, if this was any of the other girls i would take them without even asking that question.<br />
4325 >But i could safely say each one of them was different, and had more to offer me than sex.<br />
4326 >That was the difference.</p>
4328 <br />
4329 <p>>"Aren't i special?"<br />
4330 >That's not what i mean woman and you know it<br />
4331 >My penis and you are making this far more difficult than it needs to be.<br />
4332 >"If we have sex, what else will we give to one another besides sex?"<br />
4333 >I'm pretty sure it came as some sort of heckling, trying to demand more out of the deal<br />
4334 >I felt really bad, but i tried to pretend it was easy enough to understand.<br />
4335 >"We could do it as much as you want~"<br />
4336 >hnnnnnnggggg<br />
4337 >Lord Ares, grant me strength to overcome<br />
4338 >"It needs to MEAN something, ANYTHING"<br />
4339 >In my mind i'm trying to rationalize and agree with everything i'm saying<br />
4340 >It's like the very fibers of my mind are losing tautness</p>
4342 <p>>"I don't want to just have empty sex with you"<br />
4343 >I'm actually struggling to get these words out now<br />
4344 >I'm making exceptions, i just gave her a reason to come back later whenever she figured out what empty means.<br />
4345 >I'm losing faith in my ability to resist, i'm not going to last any longer in here.<br />
4346 >I've got one backup<br />
4347 >Plan F<br />
4348 >I force myself to look away from homely and i step into the shower<br />
4349 >Turn the tap all the way to cold and stand under the showerhead</p>
4351 <br />
4352 <p>>Its freezing, but i stand there for atleast a full minute and endure the cold<br />
4353 >I finally turn it off and step out, homely is still standing where i left her, but she seems to have her clothes back in order.<br />
4354 >Her breasts are no longer showing and her pants are pulled up and properly tied.<br />
4355 >I'm freezing<br />
4356 >I've got goosebumps all over and i'm shivering endlessly<br />
4357 >I grab a towel, wrap it around myself and sit down on the toilet to try to regain some senses in my skin<br />
4358 >I stare over at homely again, she seems to be back to her sassy attitude<br />
4359 >I can tell because her hands are on her hips again<br />
4360 >"Just tell me what you want me to do and i'll do it"<br />
4361 >This isn't a pleasing seductive tone, she's being bossy.<br />
4362 >I can even sense a large helping of angry in her voice<br />
4363 >I guess that's what i get when i turn down sex and tell her she's not making it special.</p>
4365 <br />
4366 <p>>"Listen there's probably a reason i could like you, i just haven't found it yet"<br />
4367 >I'm being brutally honest<br />
4368 >This isn't going to end well<br />
4369 >"I need to find it first, alright?"<br />
4370 >She seems actually to accept this response<br />
4371 >I'm not going to pretend to know what was going on in her head<br />
4372 >I've probably escaped with my life, somehow navigated the minefield.<br />
4373 >[spoiler]I'm sorry anons, the conversation you're reading here about the bathroom is just an approximation of what i kinda remember[/spoiler]<br />
4374 >[spoiler]i can't remember anything but the intentions and eventual conclusions of this event, just zero recall.[/spoiler]<br />
4375 >[spoiler]so if the dialogue sounds like a shitty fanfic, that's because i can't fucking remember what anyone said, and i think it's because i had a raging boner the entire time[/spoiler]<br />
4376 >[spoiler]The moral and premise are there though, i don't fuck homely because there's no point besides sex, and i don't want that[/spoiler]</p>
4378 <br />
4379 <p>>I just end up sitting there shivering for another 3-4 minutes.<br />
4380 >Homely doesn't do anything, really we've passed the point of anything and just joined the awkward wait for it to end.<br />
4381 >Eventually there's a knock and we unlock the door and leave<br />
4382 >Well homely leaves<br />
4383 >I'm hiding in the shower, i know i'm going to get attacked by birthday<br />
4384 >But i can't see her, so i don't know where she is<br />
4385 >I do see as all the way across the room homely has left the master bedroom<br />
4386 >I make a run for it<br />
4387 >I exit the bathroom ready to dodge to the left<br />
4388 >Birthday is on my left<br />
4389 >I don't have a plan for this, i duck and roll<br />
4390 >this hurts like hell<br />
4391 >i'm up, i jump, land on the master bed and do atleast four frontflips<br />
4392 >I then land in front of the door to the amazement of Blondie and glasses standing there<br />
4393 >Haha! i've succeeded<br />
4394 >I slam the door in their faces and lock it</p>
4396 <br />
4397 <p>>Time to wrestle the bull<br />
4398 >I must have looked hilarious to Birthday from across the room or the girls in the hall.<br />
4399 >Ran out of the bathroom wet and wearing only a freezing pair of soaking underwear.<br />
4400 >Flew across the room and closed the door, locking myself inside with her.<br />
4401 >But she wasn't down for hilarity<br />
4402 >She was about as angry as i could have got her<br />
4403 >I've got the bed between me and her, so i move around the room until its just me and the birthday girl.<br />
4404 >She's got fire in her eyes, every time she breathes she gives off steam, even her shoulders are hunched.<br />
4405 >All her body language screams her being furious at me.<br />
4406 >She runs at me head first<br />
4407 >Hits me right in the stomach<br />
4408 >This kinda hurts<br />
4409 >I go down<br />
4410 >she goes down on top of me.<br />
4411 >this really hurts<br />
4412 >Next come her fists.</p>
4414 <br />
4415 <p>>She tries to reign in a flurry of blows on my face<br />
4416 >But punches aren't hard when they're coming from people who don't know how to fight and are much lighter than you.<br />
4417 >i fought before, I knew how to win.<br />
4418 >I just grab her forearms and hold them outstretched<br />
4419 >This means she's got nothing holding her up above me, and she falls flat to my chest, her head beside mine.<br />
4420 >Now for the plan<br />
4421 >Well... it wasn't much of a plan<br />
4422 >i'm pretty sure it would either work, or i wouldn't be able to work anymore.<br />
4423 >I whisper in her ear</p>
4425 <p>>"Ello Love"<br />
4426 >I put on my smoothest british accent for this, gotta play the part.<br />
4427 >Her response was a gruff and angry "Let go of me"<br />
4428 >Not what i wanted, but i could improvise.</p>
4430 <p>>"What-cha thinkin bout?"<br />
4431 >I make sure i put emphasis on every syllable<br />
4432 >Her response was quick and to the point, with the same gruff voice as earlier<br />
4433 >"Hurting you."</p>
4435 <br />
4436 <p>>Perfect<br />
4437 >"What about when i was in the bathroom with Glasses?" - Me<br />
4438 >"That you were a jerk, i hated what you said"<br />
4439 >"Blondie" <br />
4440 >"they're not LUMPY you asshole!"<br />
4441 >"Homely?"<br />
4442 >"I was just imagining how i could punch your smug little face to make it collapse just right"<br />
4443 >There was an interesting amount of glee in the last comment<br />
4444 >I take the chance to roll her over, we end up me on top holding her forearms down still and staring her down.<br />
4445 >She struggles a bit but can't move<br />
4446 >Her eyes are still radiating cold heat like a viper just waiting to strike</p>
4448 <br />
4449 <p><br />
4450 >She's staring at me silently, knows i'm thinking something but she can't see what yet<br />
4451 >I had her fuming at me for nearly 50 minutes straight, edging and fanning the flames every chance i could get.<br />
4452 >She was absolutely furious, to the point at which every thought had to do with punching me in the face or on how much of an asshole i was being<br />
4453 >This was a bad mistake initially, but halfway through the back massage i had realized how useful it could be.<br />
4454 >You see the girls had done the mean thing, they had set Birthday up in a situation where all she could do was listen to neotare bullshit and get jealous.<br />
4455 >But she wasn't jealous<br />
4456 >She was angry at me<br />
4457 >Instead of tearing her heart into pieces every time she heard a giggle or moan from the bathroom, she wasn't listening, she just wanted to punch me more.<br />
4458 >This girl's heart was boiling, not broken three times over.<br />
4459 </p>
4461 <p>>Atleast i hoped that's what was going on<br />
4462 >It made more sense in my head, but in my head was where i was at the time trying to make it all fit together like a puzzle.<br />
4463 >I figured cooling her off was easier than putting her back together again<br />
4464 >So i asked her a question i knew would throw her off my trail<br />
4465 >Give her a chance to drop a little of the anger.<br />
4466 >I asked if she wanted to take her turn now, or later.<br />
4467 >She gave me multiple looks, Hatred, a smile, and then she openly questioned if i was fucking with her.<br />
4468 >The door was locked<br />
4469 >She had fifteen minutes if she wanted it.<br />
4470 >"Now"</p>
4472 <br />
4473 <p>>It started off great, i had her pinned so i stole a kiss<br />
4474 >or two<br />
4475 >or three<br />
4476 >I'm not sure at exactly how long one kiss becomes multiple kisses, but let me assure you it was plenty of them.<br />
4477 >Her eyes were burning, the flames were still there from earlier<br />
4478 >But she was kissing me back<br />
4479 >Hot<br />
4480 >It didn't take long for one of my hands to start roaming<br />
4481 >Upper shoulder<br />
4482 >The smooth shape of her collarbone<br />
4483 >The foothills of her upper chest<br />
4484 >IT didn't take long for her to realize her arm was free and hook me in the right shoulder with a hard jab either</p>
4486 <br />
4487 <p>>I rolled off of her clutching it<br />
4488 >Her advantage<br />
4489 >She was on top now<br />
4490 >She straightens herself up and straddles me properly, skirt flowing off to the sides<br />
4491 >Between my boxers and her panties, there were very thin layers of cloth separating us<br />
4492 >She reminds me of this with a long firm grind, once top to bottom<br />
4493 >She repositions again and bounces... once... twice... three times<br />
4494 >My hardness against her softness<br />
4495 >It's a lovely sensation, it's hot, my underwear is soaking wet, and it's the perfect amount of pressure to make my penis feel loved.</p>
4497 <p>>But she was still wearing a tad too many articles of clothing for my taste.</p>
4499 <br />
4500 <p>>I make this clear to her in a whisper<br />
4501 >The response<br />
4502 >"Pick Two"<br />
4503 >I thrust against her softly at this revelation and move up to meet her in another kiss<br />
4504 >Of course the kiss has a secret motive<br />
4505 >Good ol righty sneaks around the back and lowers the drawbridge<br />
4506 >Two fingers, good as a snap and the bra is unhooked<br />
4507 >Not-velcro, that's the best kind.<br />
4508 >In moments the bra's off, i've unleashed the beasts.<br />
4509 >I move one hand to her right breast<br />
4510 >It's warm, soft like a bag of pudding and absolutely impossible not to play with.<br />
4511 >[spoiler]I think i've made this comparison already[/spoiler]</p>
4513 <br />
4514 <p>>I end up tweaking her nipple softly as i return to kissing her<br />
4515 >We're playing tug of war with our tongues, there's no friction, no line in the sand, but the grappling and pulling is all there.<br />
4516 >she's moved on to tasting like an apple tart without sugar, bitter but slightly sweet<br />
4517 >I continue the kiss until i decide it's my turn to be on top again<br />
4518 >I pull back, and push forward again and get a grip on her shoulder with my teeth<br />
4519 >I bite<br />
4520 >she falls back<br />
4521 >I'm on-top, she's got her legs open and i'm between them<br />
4522 >I'm still nestling myself against her, it's heavenly<br />
4523 >I let her know how much i'm enjoying it with a thrust<br />
4524 >Even though its just cloth on cloth, she gasps<br />
4525 >I give her another<br />
4526 >and another<br />
4527 >Her mouth stopped closing<br />
4528 >Her breath is always ragged.</p>
4530 <p><br />
4531 >I force her fully onto her back, grab both her legs and squeeze them together infront of me.<br />
4532 >This puts her bum in tantalizing view, but i've got other plans.<br />
4533 >I grab the hem of her underwear and slowly slide it off<br />
4534 >She can keep the skirt<br />
4535 >I roll it up and off her upright legs and toss it to the side<br />
4536 >I don't even look down, i know she's mine for as many minutes as the lock holds.<br />
4537 >I spread her legs and lean back in for another kiss<br />
4538 >She locks ankles behind me and squeezes her thighs<br />
4539 >I'm forced roughly against her, boxers barely containing the sensation.<br />
4540 >It feels absolutely astounding, a warmth is seeping through the underwear that wasn't present before<br />
4541 >i'm in heaven, really<br />
4542 <br />
4543 >I lean backwards and start to take off my boxers and i'm looking around for where the parents probably keep the condoms.<br />
4544 >I find her hand on mine<br />
4545 >She's stopping me<br />
4546 >I'm confused<br />
4547 >I look up at her<br />
4548 >There's a strange sadness in her eyes, i don't understand one bit<br />
4549 >"We can't"<br />
4550 >w... what wait a second hold on , "let me go get a condom it'll be fine"<br />
4551 >She shakes her head<br />
4552 >I THOUGHT THE COLD WAR WAS OVER<br />
4553 <br />
4554 <br />
4555 </p>
4557 <h1 dir="ltr" >Update #10 : April 13th</h1>
4559 <p><br />
4560 <href="#p11321581" >http://archive.heinessen.com/r9k/thread/11321229#p11321581</a></p>
4562 <br />
4563 <br />
4564 <p>>I'm staring blindly at Birthday's face, not really seeing anything.<br />
4565 >I can't read her own emotions, mine are overpowering them.</p>
4567 <p>>Now i know i must have just misheard the catastrophic miscommunication that just went down<br />
4568 >There's absolutely no way the words "We can't" just came out of a wet and willing female<br />
4569 >In my entire lifetime of anime, television and movie experiences this shouldn't happen.<br />
4570 >When you excite a girl she's putty in your arms, that's how it works right?<br />
4571 >There's no media i'd ever seen where she was into it and completely unwilling.<br />
4572 >But sadly... as is the case in most of this story.<br />
4573 >Life is not like anime.<br />
4574 >[spoiler] or in many cases anons ): [/spoiler]<br />
4575 >[spoiler] There's a thousand and one reasons women will let themselves get close but won't go farther.[/spoiler]<br />
4576 >[spoiler] Regret, more self control than you, or just plain catholicism[/spoiler]</p>
4578 <br />
4579 <p>>Whatever the reason, i was a self centered male.</p>
4581 <p>>my ego was shattered<br />
4582 >There was no reason we should stop, i saw no logical idea in my head that would even remotely make sense as to why i'd failed.<br />
4583 >For some unknown reason i was not copulation material, and that hurt.<br />
4584 >Physically as i had what can only be considered an unstoppable force in my boxers, and they were trying to stop it.<br />
4585 >And mentally i was picking up the shattered pieces and cutting myself on the edges.<br />
4586 >This is where the questions start<br />
4587 >"Why?"</p>
4589 <br />
4590 <p>>Anger in my voice maybe, hurt, confusion<br />
4591 >In the bathroom i had chalked it to not enough time, or too public an area of the house.<br />
4592 >Here i couldn't see any excuses, but it could still be a myriad of things she wasn't telling me.</p>
4594 <p>>I don't get a response<br />
4595 >just those sad eyes and a shake of the head<br />
4596 >I always wondered if in some futuristic reality this kind of moment would ever change.<br />
4597 >where if you could hook up and feel every emotion and sensation your partner was feeling at the time, one of you would cave.<br />
4598 >Maybe you'll get to experience that someday anons, but today was not that day<br />
4599 >I had to change her mind myself<br />
4600 >I asked the worst question possible, saying instead of doing.<br />
4601 >"Can i change your mind?"<br />
4602 >I'm full of intent, staring her deeply in the eyes and moving my left hand down her side<br />
4603 >and towards the expanse below her skirt.<br />
4604 >She softly grabs my wrist and stops me, dragging it and placing it back at her waist.</p>
4606 <br />
4607 <p>>There's not many ways you can respond to that<br />
4608 >Maybe she's not warmed up yet or something<br />
4609 >i'm still latched to the idea that it's my fault.<br />
4610 >I mean it was wasn't it?<br />
4611 >Not enough foreplay, not enough tender attention on my part.<br />
4612 >I lean into her again, connect my lips with her neck and suck on it softly<br />
4613 >She gasps<br />
4614 >I press my hips forward and grind just the tiniest bit<br />
4615 >She softly releases air, the tiniest hint of vocal emanations from it.</p>
4617 <p>>These are good sounds, i know these are good sounds</p>
4619 <p>>I know that if i'm straining hard to resist, she must be straining just as hard.<br />
4620 >I know she's struggling internally, i just have to get her to give in.<br />
4621 >This plan's going to work i know it.</p>
4623 <br />
4624 <p>>I try to take a dive, i grab her waist and begin lowering my head downwards.<br />
4625 >I figure i can try eating her out, i haven't been unlucky with that yet and maybe she'll enjoy it enough to...<br />
4626 >I don't make it far before she realizes what i'm doing<br />
4627 >She grabs my hair<br />
4628 >I'm forcibly yanked upwards<br />
4629 >This isn't a soft tug of my hair, i'm pretty sure she actually rips a couple strands out<br />
4630 >She's holding my face stationary above hers, maybe an inch, maybe two.<br />
4631 >All i can see are her eyes, they're actually twinkling in the light<br />
4632 >I'm worried she's crying, but as far as i can tell her cheeks are dry<br />
4633 >She yanks me sideways, i'm sure tears are in my eyes.<br />
4634 >Having your hair pulled is just one of those things that really hurts<br />
4635 >I get a kiss on my cheek, then quickly pulled back to my earlier position.<br />
4636 >"No."</p>
4638 <br />
4639 <p>>She lets go of me and gets off her back<br />
4640 >I know what that word means, i know what her tone means.<br />
4641 >It means there's nothing i can do to change her mind.<br />
4642 >She's sitting now, legs folded cleanly under her, knees facing me.<br />
4643 >My eyes are drawn to her skirt, her two hands smoothing out the creases as it billows out around her.<br />
4644 >It comes to my mind that i didn't even look<br />
4645 >How fucking stupid could i be, i thought she was mine, in the urgency it didn't even cross my mind.<br />
4646 >Her breasts are still uncovered though, i get back to staring at them while plotting my next move.<br />
4647 >This is where the pleading starts.<br />
4648 >I start the process in my head, maybe if i beg, maybe if i grovel she'll let me<br />
4649 >I realize that this was pathetic<br />
4650 >an appeal to an emotional side of her that probably wasn't receptive at the moment.<br />
4651 >Not to mention pathetic.<br />
4652 >Maybe she was just that angry with me, this was revenge.<br />
4653 >Really fucking pathetic.<br />
4654 >I had no way of knowing, i couldn't read her over the thoughts in my head, so i just gave up.</p>
4656 <br />
4657 <p>>I just fell to my back and went back to my favorite passtime, staring at the ceiling.<br />
4658 >I didn't want to just burn all bridges and go completely autistic though, so i threw a question out after a moment or two.<br />
4659 >"What do you want me to do?"<br />
4660 >I wasn't being soft, sincere, angry, or questioning. I was all business, a demand even.<br />
4661 >I had even crossed my arms above my head and was using them as a support as i stared angrily at what seems to be my favorite ceiling in the house.<br />
4662 >I wasn't looking down, but i knew that the tent in my boxers was a monument that she and i both knew existed.<br />
4663 >Not that she seemed to care.<br />
4664 >"Nothing"<br />
4665 >Ouch, that word hurt<br />
4666 >I knew whatever was going on here was over for some reason i didn't understand.<br />
4667 >The worst part? The spiderbros were gone, off making webs somewhere for the night.<br />
4668 >I had no allies in my time of need.</p>
4670 <br />
4671 <p>>I'm back to not giving a shit i guess, there's an army of men screaming inside me.<br />
4672 >I'm falling quickly into angry.<br />
4673 >Not really true anger, but that mood where you lash out at others to hurt them because you feel hurt.<br />
4674 >Who is she to lead me on and end it here?<br />
4675 >I'm thinking intrusive angry things, calling her angry names, intentionally trying to break the heart that i had tried to keep together earlier.<br />
4676 >I don't act on them directly, i just take the beta route.<br />
4677 >"Where did i screw up?"<br />
4678 >She's got an instant response, she was expecting this question, always a bad sign.<br />
4679 >"Nowhere"<br />
4680 >She pauses, i see her out of the corner of my vision staring at me.<br />
4681 >Probably my crotch, it's the tallest object in the room right now<br />
4682 >"I'll... finish you off"<br />
4683 >Thank fucking Eris goddess of chaos.</p>
4685 <br />
4686 <p>>She crawls over to me<br />
4687 >I watch her breasts the entire way, nothing like a girl's breasts pointing nipples-to-the-floor and swaying the entire way.<br />
4688 >Reminds me of the soft swaying of a ship on rough seas.<br />
4689 >She's eventually got me crotch in grabbing range, leas' we're going to get some action started.<br />
4690 >X Marks the spot, come get it.<br />
4691 >About fucking time, i'm just frustrated, ripping at the sails at this point.<br />
4692 >I've had a constant on/off erection for about 40 minutes now.<br />
4693 >All i wanted to do was find some worthy wench to deposit a load into<br />
4694 >Pirates booty denied, i guess i could accept a bit of a suck on the ol' bottle.</p>
4696 <br />
4697 <p>>Except she starts with her hands<br />
4698 >One hand above the boxers, one below.<br />
4699 >This can't be anything but good.<br />
4700 >Oh how wrong i was<br />
4701 >She was pulling far too hard, i was wincing, she was rubbing the cloth roughly against it<br />
4702 >I completely forgot that this girl had no clue how to give handjobs<br />
4703 >I think "No clue" was an understatement<br />
4704 >This was like first time using chopsticks no clue<br />
4705 >This was like first time giving a handjob with chopsticks that you've never used before today no clue<br />
4706 >I was getting an Indian Ropeburn Mark II<br />
4707 >I'm actually making those sounds the velociraptors make in jurassic park internally<br />
4708 >Even a couple externally<br />
4709 >She's not getting the hint.</p>
4711 <p>>Fuck the sounds coming out of my throat would fit in 40 million years ago</p>
4713 <br />
4714 <p>>It was like she lit me up, grabbed my monkey and started to go.<br />
4715 >She was trying to start a fire, her hands were cold as ice.<br />
4716 >It's making me tired, like a rerun of Miami Vice<br />
4717 >I want to walk away, fuck this whore.<br />
4718 >I want Homely to open the door.<br />
4719 >I'm on the floor, making sounds like a dying dinosaur.</p>
4721 <br />
4722 <p>>It doesn't take me long to stop her<br />
4723 >completely<br />
4724 >the words "You are hurting me" do not even begin to explain to her the pain she was causing<br />
4725 >I could be bleeding for all i know, i don't even look<br />
4726 >I now realize i have the daunting task of teaching this girl how to give me a handjob<br />
4727 >I don't know where to start<br />
4728 >Basic human anatomy maybe<br />
4729 >She might be missing a couple important bits, like the ones where it being "Attached" was important.<br />
4730 >I'm mulling over how to explain this when she interrupts my thoughts<br />
4731 >"I can try my mouth?"<br />
4732 >Oh right that's a thing<br />
4733 >Yeah go ahead, it can't be worse than the handjob<br />
4734 >Oh boy, i should really stop saying that.</p>
4736 <br />
4737 <p>>There's quite a few things that i neglected to explain about blowjobs earlier<br />
4738 >Mostly because the previous girl to give me one had been more or less drunk, horny and was given no choice but to actually take it throat deep.<br />
4739 >Now birthday started with kissing.<br />
4740 >Anons that have had blowjobs know what kisses feel like<br />
4741 >They look hot as fuck, but don't really feel like ANYTHING.<br />
4742 >The hand she's using to hold your penis upright to kiss it is stimulating you more than the kiss itself, and that hand isn't even moving.<br />
4743 >I didn't want hot, i had hot for hours, i was stuck in a full household of hot.<br />
4744 >I just wanted to get off</p>
4746 <br />
4747 <p>>You know that feeling, i decide i need to take things into my own hands<br />
4748 >Literally<br />
4749 >i wrap one of my hands around the base and start stroking slowly while she's kissing and softly pressing her lips across the thing<br />
4750 >She seems to decide my hand is in the way<br />
4751 >Because she grabs it and softly pulls it off<br />
4752 >I'M TRYING TO HELP WOMAN<br />
4753 >Door's stuck<br />
4754 >PLEASE<br />
4755 >I BEG YOU<br />
4756 >She returns to doing absolutely nothing but torturing me.<br />
4757 >[spoiler]We're dead[/spoiler]</p>
4759 <br />
4760 <p>>I hint that she should put it IN her mouth<br />
4761 >that's how blowjobs work after all.<br />
4762 >I figure it would feel better than the kisses<br />
4763 >She seems to acknowledge this request and pulls back up again<br />
4764 >She puts the tip in your mouth<br />
4765 >Now if she had sucked it i woulda said sucked it ,but it's just in her mouth<br />
4766 >[spoiler] now about those things you need to make a blowjob actually feel good and not just like your dick is wet[/spoiler]<br />
4767 >[spoiler] Number one, Suction. If she's not closing the gap and applying suction, you're going to feel barely anything[/spoiler]<br />
4768 >[spoiler] Number Two, friction, Lips, or throat action usually. Absolutely no teeth (unless she really knows what she's doing). Cheeks don't actually count.[/spoiler]<br />
4769 >[spoiler] For friction to work, you also tend to need movement[/spoiler]<br />
4770 >[spoiler] Number Three, Tongue action. It can make or break a blow, trust me[/spoiler]<br />
4771 </p>
4773 <br />
4774 <p>>Now birthday was doing none of these things<br />
4775 >No suction<br />
4776 >Her tongue was sitting at the bottom of her mouth<br />
4777 >She wasn't taking me very deep at all, really mouthing the top 1/7th or so.<br />
4778 >The only thing she was doing right was not biting me<br />
4779 >But i did feel a couple scrapes with her upper jaw (which happens sometimes)<br />
4780 >Luckily that's usually not that jarring, so i had to give her a little bit of credit.<br />
4781 >I decide to try to instruct her to do it better<br />
4782 >Remember you can't just tell people they suck at blowjobs.<br />
4783 >If they suck, they're atleast doing the right thing.</p>
4785 <br />
4786 <br />
4787 <p>>So i try to hint at various things she can do<br />
4788 >Suction, she manages to get a bit of a seal going and i see her lips pucker inwards.<br />
4789 >Tongue, She manages a bit of a weak effort at rolling it around the tip, better than nothing.<br />
4790 >Lips and movement, She's going back and forth, still not very far but its a start.<br />
4791 >Depth, now this one was tough she wasn't taking kindly to my requests to put more of it in her mouth at a time.<br />
4792 >I have to practically beg and plead with her to get more of it in her mouth<br />
4793 >I wasn't even against begging at this point<br />
4794 >It takes her a bit, but eventually she relaxes enough to get about halfway down (a little farther)<br />
4795 >It feels much better than when she started. i might be able to enjoy this.<br />
4796 >But she pauses<br />
4797 >She just doesn't move for a couple seconds<br />
4798 >I take my hands and gently press her downwards, trying to get just a little more length inside her mouth<br />
4799 >She gets about half an inch further before she gives a cough and i let go<br />
4800 >She quickly pulls her mouth up and off, sits up completely.<br />
4801 >Horribly confused and distraught look on her face.<br />
4802 >"I can't do it, you smell like my dad"</p>
4804 <p><br />
4805 >Of course, of course the soap belonged to her dad.<br />
4806 >Its like the gift of bad-decisions in bathroom products that keeps giving.</p>
4808 <p>>I'm completely done with her, mood fucking ruined<br />
4809 >i just walk over to my boxers and pick them up and put them back on<br />
4810 >She's sitting there in the middle of the floor<br />
4811 >Just sitting on her folded legs, skirt flowing around her, she's still beautifully attractive but i can't handle this.<br />
4812 >I'm now hovering next to her, trying to decide what to do.<br />
4813 >I end up picking up her panties from next to her and strutting off to the bathroom<br />
4814 >I don't bother closing the door, she can watch if she wants<br />
4815 >I take a good look at the cloth i hold in my hands, soaking wet spot right in the middle of the crotch.<br />
4816 >I drop my boxers, get a firm grasp and start stroking</p>
4818 <br />
4819 <br />
4820 <br />
4821 <p>>I take the panties and press them against my face, might as well<br />
4822 >The wet spot is cold but it warms up quickly<br />
4823 >It smells like a stronger more direct version of the musky sex-smell that was permeating the other room.<br />
4824 >The fabric smells like freshly washed socks<br />
4825 >The juices smell tart, sour, they have the slightest fruity aroma and a much more overpowering musk like light sweat.<br />
4826 >I contemplate how hard i want to bend birthday over and fuck her brains out.<br />
4827 >I'm really imagining rough, dirty, kicking, screaming sex.<br />
4828 >I pretend she's not resisting, but in my mind she is.<br />
4829 >It doesn't take long, i blow a load all over the toilet, because into the water would be too easy.<br />
4830 >The imagination is better than the real thing i guess.</p>
4832 <br />
4833 <p>>I use the crotch of her panties to clean up the mess i've made<br />
4834 >Until they get washed, these babies are ruined, smears and trails of various juices across all of them.<br />
4835 >Learning from my past mistakes, i'm very thorough, no more bathroom explosions thank-you-kindly.<br />
4836 >I turn around to find Birthday standing, leaning against the doorframe and silently watching.<br />
4837 >I walk over to her and ask her , out of kindness and not-being-a-jerk more than anything<br />
4838 >"Do you want me to get you off?"<br />
4839 >Silence for a bit<br />
4840 >"No... i'll do it myself"</p>
4842 <br />
4843 <p>>They weren't really words, it was like an exasperated sigh of defeat<br />
4844 >Now she knew what i was feeling<br />
4845 >I held out the panties and used my other hand to force her to grab them.<br />
4846 >"They're ruined, you won't be able to wear them now..."<br />
4847 >I tried to imply a couple things with this sentence, i hope she realized which ones.<br />
4848 >I retreat to the bedroom again leaving her holding the cloth limply in her outstretched hand<br />
4849 >I'm still watching her out of the corner of my eye when i say<br />
4850 >"I'll owe you a Do-over, when we're both ready"<br />
4851 >I tried to shift as much blame to myself as i could to make her feel better.<br />
4852 >Her hand tightly squeezed around the underwear.<br />
4853 >I just put on my sweatpants and leave.</p>
4855 <br />
4856 <p>>I closed the door behind me<br />
4857 >to my surprise, none of the girls were out here eavesdropping<br />
4858 >I was fully expecting to have to fight them away from the door to give birthday some privacy<br />
4859 >I didn't feel very good about myself leaving her like that, but what else was i supposed to do<br />
4860 >She didn't seem to want my involvement at all, it was best to leave her alone to think....<br />
4861 >She was probably going to fap though<br />
4862 >I mull this thought with endearment as i tromp off, fully expecting at any corner to be mugged by angry women.<br />
4863 >Nobody in the Living Room<br />
4864 >Nobody in the Kitchen<br />
4865 >I check the guest room<br />
4866 >Raven still sleeping peacefully in there, no other girls<br />
4867 >I guess they're in birthday's room again<br />
4868 >Sure enough, the door is closed<br />
4869 >I don't just barge in though, i knock softly three times.<br />
4870 >"Come in~"<br />
4871 >It was blondie, that was her sing-song voice<br />
4872 >But it wasn't her singsong voice<br />
4873 >i hadn't even opened the door yet and i was worried.</p>
4875 <br />
4876 <p>>I open the door<br />
4877 >[spoiler]get on the floor[/spoiler]<br />
4878 >All three of them are still wearing what i saw them last wearing, i guess that was good.<br />
4879 >They all have fake smiles on though<br />
4880 >That's not good<br />
4881 >Really fake smiles<br />
4882 >"Hey there Man of the hour, got plenty of action didn't ya?"<br />
4883 >This was glasses, and was punctuated with a wink<br />
4884 >What in Loki's name have i walked into.</p>
4886 <p>>Blondie and Homely are just staring me down with genuinely terrifying fake smiles.<br />
4887 >I'm preparing to start tactically rolling away when Homely asks a question<br />
4888 >"You must be tired from all the action you got with us, i hear Glasses got the farthest~"<br />
4889 >Nope nope nope nope, i had walked into a trap i knew it<br />
4890 >They're trying to get me to reveal information about what happened in each room<br />
4891 >I ain't playin this game, i know what they're doing<br />
4892 >I avoid answering, but the other two are straight to business<br />
4893 >"What did you do with Birthday after you had her all riled up?" - Blondie<br />
4894 >"I bet she gave you that bruise on your shoulder" - Glasses<br />
4895 >I look down at my shoulder, there is indeed a red spot where i was punched, but no bruise.<br />
4896 >I didn't realize she had hit me that hard<br />
4897 </p>
4899 <p>>I told them the truth<br />
4900 >"We attacked one another and fought, neither of us walked away happy"<br />
4901 >It was the truth, i was completely sincere<br />
4902 >I guess it passed the sincerity test because nobody seemed to question it, but i had to question them next<br />
4903 >"What have you girls been talking about in here?"<br />
4904 >I try to make it an innocent question<br />
4905 >there's no way to make that an innocent question<br />
4906 >Blondie obliges and begins spewing information<br />
4907 >"Everything!"<br />
4908 >W... well that was informative<br />
4909 >"Glasses told us all about her kissing techniques, Homely said she got you to go the farthest with her, did you really let her see it!?"<br />
4910 >Blondie is saying these things like its some kind of joke<br />
4911 >Or like its empty gossip<br />
4912 >I mean that's how she's phrasing it</p>
4914 <p>>But each word is dripping with jealousy<br />
4915 >They've been sitting here lying to one another the entire time about what happened in the bathroom.</p>
4917 <br />
4918 <p>>I'm not playing this game, i can't win<br />
4919 >I say one word "Spoilers"<br />
4920 >That's all they're getting, if they want to start a fire under one another that's not my problem<br />
4921 >Even though it is my problem, im pretending its not<br />
4922 >I walk across the room and just plop down on the bed<br />
4923 >My back hurts and i've been hiding it for ages now, i just let out a groan and try to prop myself up on a pillow against the headboard and the wall.<br />
4924 >The girls watch me for a bit</p>
4926 >I'm very comfy and i just stare back<br />
4927 >They try asking various questions<br />
4928 >I'm just silent<br />
4929 >I'm just staring<br />
4930 >It's like we're playing a staring contest.<br />
4931 >Eventually they decide they're losing, or they don't want to play anymore and decide to watch TV<br />
4932 >They were right, i was staring at barely clothed teenage tits the entire time.<br />
4933 >When they turn around to watch TV sitting on the bed, i don't have anything fun to stare at anymore.<br />
4934 >That's boring<br />
4935 >I try to pay attention to what's on the TV but i just can't be bothered<br />
4936 >My eyes get heavy and i close them for just a second<br />
4937 >They're closed much longer than a second as i drift asleep.<screams internally=""></screams>