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*pic is unrelated random chick.*


this is my story /b/...

> \>be me, 19 yo college freshman  
> \>this was 10 years ago  
> \>i had this bro from highschool, pete  
> \>we were friends, but not exactly bros. he was a cool guy, and i think i was cool to him  
> \>turns out we applied to the same college and enrolled  
> \>going to the same classes  
> \>practically spending all of our time together  
> \>away from you family, with your high school life behind you, things can get hectic  
> \>yeah, you are horny teenagers with no real problems to deal with  
> \>but you still need a friend you can depend on  
> \>and we were that friend to each other   

fast forward a couple of months

> \>second semester, we start taking this new class  
> \>and there is this girl in the class  
> \>not just us, but every fucking human being with a working dick in the entire campus is losing their shit over her  
> \>ordinary straight girls are ready to become lesbians just for her  
> \>i mean... man... wow... what an.. angel? a beam of light? deux ex machina descending from heaven? i have no fucking idea  
> \>a value over 10 is a measurement that applies to us, mere mortals  
> \>her beauty cannot be calculated or properly abstracted with numbers  
> \>and looking at her is like something you know you shouldnt do  
> \>not because its creepy or socially awkward or some other shit  
> \>its because you feel youre not worthy  
> \>not for her youre not. no. NOT HER.  
> \>but we were looking  
> \>turns out we first saw her practically at the same time  
> \>and we wanted to point her to one another   
> \>but we couldnt take our eyes off of her  
> \>so we sat in some lousy economy class or whatever and drooled over her for half an hour  
> \>before i whispered... "dude... fuck me..."  
> \>and it took pete a solid 5 minutes before he could simply say "yeah..."  
> \>there she was, this 5'9" lady with long wavy auburn hair and emerald green eyes to die for  
> \>and pretty sure, to kill for  
> \>sitting just a couple feet away from us  
> \>yeah... so.. "fuck me..." was the correct response in that situation  

> \>after the class  
> \>to this day i cant for the life of me remember what the fuck it was about  
> \>we were already orbiting her like some lousy asteroids stuck to a massive black hole  
> \>creepily getting closer and closer to her as she sucked us in  
> \>bumping to each other and walking like we were drunk and out of our minds  
> \>i dont know what it was  
> \>maybe she realized that we were following her like pervs  
> \>or maybe it was something else  
> \>halfway to the cafeteria, she just stopped and turned towards us  
> \>we comedically bumped into each other and stopped as well  
> \>but her beauty was so miraculous we forgot to look somewhere else  
> \>i remember her gaze.. it was like the back of our heads blew open and brains splattered all over the hallway  
> \>those green eyes man...  
> \>and she smiled. SHE FUCKING SMILED  
> \>if we werent healthy, fit males in their prime we would have died of heart attack at that moment  
> \>we couldnt breathe she was so beautiful  
> \>so there we were, still staring at her, our eyes and mouths wide open  
> \>we were in our low, waaay low 2 digit IQs at that moment  
> \>and there she was, in all of her glory  
> \>like i said, 5'9", long wavy auburn hair, emerald green eyes  
> \>long curvy and athletic legs, you know, slimmer at the knees  
> \>well defined muscles on her calves and soft but rigid thighs  
> \>her ankles were so elegant  
> \>but her tendons were sprained... as if she were a wild gazelle ready to bolt out at a moments notice  
> \>her butt... i cant call it an ass. not hers.  
> \>ass is what girls have.  
> \>this lady had something else. she had buttocks that required a new definition of the word  
> \>they were so firm and so well shaped, you could perfectly calculate for pi if you took measurements  
> \>her breasts... i dont even have the words  
> \>to this day im still searching for the right words  
> \>and i will try and describe them later in the story... but i will fail terribly  

> \>i can still remember what she was wearing that day  
> \>i know what she was wearing probably better than her on the day she wore them  
> \>and i know this because pete knew this  
> \>after she looked at us and smiled  
> \>just for a few seconds which felt like an eternity  
> \>she turned around again and kept on walking  
> \>we just stayed put  
> \>we couldnt follow her  
> \>our black hole left us lonely asteroids to the pitch black emptiness of cold space  
> \>so after the school, we went to our dorm room with no information about her whatsoever  
> \>no name, no nothing  
> \>just a mental image of her elegant stance etched deep into our minds  
> \>i was looking at the pictures of random women with green eyes and auburn hair on yahoo  
> \>that was the only thing i could do. but none of the images even came close to matching her beauty  
> \>well.. pete felt like he had to do something  
> \>and he fucking started searching for her clothes. i shit you not  
> \>he was searching for her clothes on amazon and ebay and all these fashion and shopping sites neither of us knew nothing about  
> \>he started with searching for her skirt  
> \>which was this black wool-cashmere circle skirt with a playful flare at the bottom  
> \>couple inches above her knees... revealing her thighs just a little bit..  
> \>when he found it, he shouted "I FOUND IT FUCK YEAH"  

> \>and i thought he had found "her"  
> \>but when i saw what he found, which was this i dunno what brand skirt on amazon  
> \>i was far from being disappointed  
> \>i was feeling the same way  
> \>we didnt know her name, but fuck if we didnt know what skirt she was wearing  
> \>pete kept going with the search and i helped him  
> \>at the end of the night, we knew what flats she was wearing, what shirt  
> \>we even knew what brand her red, bow shaped hairclip was  
> \>i mean... look, we are straight guys  
> \>i figure im a 7/10, maybe 8, pete is an easy 8/10, pushing 9  
> \>we are both fit, we dont have ugly pimples on our faces or anything, we are both very decent  
> \>we are not short or chubby  
> \>and altho we were not the most popular kids in highschool, we are definitely not social castouts either  
> \>but that night  
> \>we were more gay than a male fashion design student wearing pink dungarees and coming out of the closet singing YMCA  
> \>and we knew what skirt she was wearing... so yeah...  
> \>and before we went to sleep  
> \>pete had an idea  
> \>that motherfucker had the most excellent idea  
> \>he knew he needed an extra something if he was ever gonna talk to her  
> \>let alone date her  
> \>so he decided he should start learning about fashion  
> \>and use his knowledge as a conversation starter  
> \>meanwhile, i was feeling like i could go to mars with a new apollo mission  
> \>or save the world from a new nazi regime all by myself  
> \>and still wouldnt be able to impress her  
> \>i was a hopeless faggot  

> \>next morning, the first thing pete did was to enroll in a class on fashion design  
> \>pete didnt know if his tactics were gonna work  
> \>pete didnt know if this magnificent creature would speak fashion with him  
> \>but he had hopes  
> \>meanwhile, we were both unable to speak to her  
> \>we were a bunch of beta fags, scared out of our minds  
> \>but we learned her name from a friend  
> \>ella  
> \>ella was her name...  
> \>pete didnt want to waste his chances in leaving a perfect first impression with ella  
> \>well, the first impression both of us have left was us standing in the middle of the hallway  
> \>staring at her like we were retarded perverts  
> \>but speaking to her was a different matter altogether  
> \>i figured, if pete had no chance of talking to her now  
> \>how could i?  
> \>besides, pete was so in da zone, i didnt want to compete  
> \>not that i could, or so i believed...  
> \>fast forward a couple of weeks  
> \>pete as a freshman knew more about fashion than seniors knew about economy in our department  
> \>he was spending his nights browsing fashion blogs  
> \>every night, he would come to our room, with a list of items she was wearing that day  
> \>studying her taste in fashion  
> \>pete told me that this could actually work  
> \>since while a lot of the girls on campus dressed like trailer trashes  
> \>ella was always amazing in her choice of clothes  
> \>our room was filled with editions of vogue and GQ and shit  
> \>couple of friends have seen our stash of fashion magazines  
> \>and joked about it  
> \>so we made a lousy explanation of how they were "quality fapping material"  
> \>and got away with it  
> \>one day, pete woke up and turned to me  
> \>"i'm ready" - he said  
> \>like neo saying "i know kung-fu"  
> \>i said "show her"  
> \>anyways  
> \>pete decided that whatever she's wearing that day  
> \>he felt like he could intelligently talk to her about her clothes  

> \>after the economy class  
> \>i wished him luck and we parted ways  
> \>an hour later he found me  
> \>i asked him  
> \>"how did it go?"  
> \>"i dunno man... i really dunno. i mean, i might as well done great or fucked it up completely"  
> \>"why?"  
> \>"look, we talked about fashion for an hour"  
> \>"so, you talked for an hour, thats great man!" - damn we were beta fags  
> \>"yeah, but what if she thinks that im gay?"  
> \>i started laughing. pete had a point. straight guys dont usually talk about fashion  
> \>certainly not about womens fashion  
> \>suddenly, ella comes out of nowhere  
> \>i froze  
> \>pete looked at me and understood that ella was coming our way  
> \>"hey pete!"  
> \>and i heard ella's voice for the first time  
> \>she had a crackly, deep voice  
> \>kinda reminds me of scarlett johansson now...  
> \>a lot of people dont think that kinda voice is flattering  
> \>but if you found me a soprano that sings agnus dei  
> \>i would have told you "shut that woman up and let ella sing"  
> \>"hey ella!" - said pete, his heart probably skipping a couple of beats  
> \>"i remembered now... i got it from anthropologie..."  
> \>i have absolutely no idea what shes talking about  
> \>"oh thanks!"  
> \>"dont mention it... its from last season tho, i dont think you could buy it for your sister. but they might have something similar..."  
> \>"oh.. well, thank you for telling me ella!"  
> \>"youre welcome, see you around pete!"  
> \>"see you ella!"  
> \>and we watched ella walking away from us gracefuly, until she disappeared in the distance  
> \>still looking at her general direction, as if we could still see her  
> \>"dude... your sister is 7..."  
> \>"yeah i know..."  
> \>"..."  
> \>"..."  
> \>"she is..."  
> \>"yeah i know... magnificent..."  

> \>a week later, pete had another idea  
> \>in order to not look like a gay couple  
> \>he suggested that we develop this "manly handshake"  
> \>and establish that we are in fact, bros  
> \>like a bunch of idiots, we stayed up all night  
> \>working out this complex yet subtle (or so we thought) secret handshake  
> \>our stupidity was at an immeasurable new height  
> \>pete was chatting up ella, little by little everyday  
> \>but he was afraid of becoming a gay bff and lose all chance of dating her  
> \>so he requested me to approach them tomorrow at some point mid conversation  
> \>and "apply" the handshake  
> \>ok then  
> \>after our economy class  
> \>i gave pete some time  
> \>then joined them in the cafeteria  
> \>as i approached them, pete saw me coming  
> \>excused himself like a true boss gentleman  
> \>and we started acting out this ridiculous handshake in unison  
> \>i mean it was absolute bullshit  
> \>hands and fingers everywhere clicking and fist bumping and doing other various stuff  
> \>it was like the douchebag version of cirque de soleil  
> \>halfway thru (yeah it was that long it almost needed an interlude) ella starts laughing her ass off  
> \>she was laughing like a crazy person  
> \>we freeze  
> \>the blood drains away from pete's face  
> \>pale as fuck  
> \>we realize that we just fucked up  
> \>we fucked up immensely  
> \>and we force ourselves to turn and face ella  
> \>she's trying to silence herself, still laughing  
> \>pete and i still holding hands like fucktards  
> \>she tries to apologize for laughing  
> \>but then she starts laughing even louder  
> \>we look around and hope that no other person has acknowledged how dumb we look  
> \>fortunately no one other than ella is laughing  
> \>but ella is still laughing  

> \>pete has this "this is how i die" face  
> \>im all goodbyeworld.jpeg  
> \>ella's laughter finally dies down  
> \>and we're looking at her like rabbits caught in headlights  
> \>"guys... i know you're not gay" - and she starts laughing again  
> \>pete looks like hes about to shit his pants  
> \>and i dunno what it was, maybe i started losing my nerve  
> \>or maybe it was like a chain reaction to ella's laughter  
> \>i start laughing my ass off as well  
> \>that "manly handshake" started playing out in my head over and over again  
> \>and i began to imagine myself doing the handshake  
> \>and realized how absolutely idiotic it must have looked like  
> \>pete starts laughing as well  
> \>all three of us are crying at this point  
> \>now people are looking at us like wtf  
> \>and that was how i met ella  
> \>we finally sit down  
> \>im still chuckling like an ape  
> \>i extend my hand towards ella  
> \>"hi, im anon"  
> \>she firmly grabs my hand  
> \>my god her hands are beautiful  
> \>long, slender fingers embrace my hairy man paws like the branches of a delicate flower  
> \>she has a very cold touch  
> \>almost freezing, but at the same time its such an awakening feeling  
> \>i can feel the hairs on my forearm rising  
> \>"hi anon, im ella" - she responds with a warm smile  
> \>and an incredibly sharp, piercing gaze  
> \>her spellbinding green eyes are filled with both an "i got you now" attitude and an older sisters love  
> \>i melt  
> \>"for how long have you guys practiced that stupid handshake?" - she asks  
> \>we start blushing like 5 yo kids  

> \>"all night..." - pete answers as silently as possible  
> \>ella claps her hands and pops a loud chuckle  
> \>"i knew it!" - waving her finger towards us - "you guys are insecure!"  
> \>pete grumbles  
> \>"oooohh.. its so cute!" - she puts on a funny face, pouting her spectacular pink lips  
> \>im losing my grasp on english language right about now  
> \>"well guys, i know youre not gay... but youre definetely homophobic!"  
> \>"well... were not..." - i try to defend myself futilely  
> \>"oh its ok, anon!" - she smiles - "i can understand that feeling"  
> \>pete must be losing his mind.. he just sits there, trying to find a way to regain his composure  
> \>"oh come on pete, i know you would feel uneasy, talking to me about fashion"  
> \>pete looks shocked  
> \>he doesnt understand how he could be sidelined so bad  
> \>"but..." - he tries to make a case (which i assume he has none)  
> \>"its really ok pete. i can sense that you have been working on "fashion" (makes a fingerquote) for some time"  
> \>ohfuck.gif  
> \>our jaws are sweeping the floor  
> \>"how..." - pete mumbles  
> \>"seriously, i know about your fashion class, and your room full of fashion magazines"  
> \>ella winks at pete  
> \>im about to lose my shit  
> \>pete looks like hes shot by a cupids 50cal machine gun  
> \>hes crushing hard, madly in love  
> \>"how did you know?" - i ask, since pete cannot come to the phone right now  
> \>"well... first of all, i have a friend in pete's fashion class"  
> \>"and also, some of your chums were talking about your stash and i overheard them"  
> \>pete silently mouths "fuck me..."  
> \>"but most of all, pete, i can see that you are new to the fashion world"  
> \>"where did i go wrong?" - pete must have been losing his hope at this point  
> \>"well, a fashionista... how can i put it... must look more fashionable, dont you think?"  
> \>ella was right. granted, pete didnt walk around wearing shitty flip flops and baggy sweat pants  
> \>but he wasnt actually a fashion icon either  
> \>pete looks like hes about to burst into tears  

> \>"besides, your fashion sense has no context. a person who is deeply involved in any subject always speaks in some form of context"  
> \>as ella talks about pete's failure, i feel both incredibly sad and incredibly turned on  
> \>maybe im not from a family or a place where there were a lot of smart women around   
> \>and maybe i was just a dumb homophobic or maybe even sexist fuck  
> \>who thinks all women learn about everything in life by furiously banging ken and barbie dolls into each other in their childhood  
> \>but ill be damned if this magnificent woman isnt smart  
> \>"hey its ok pete" - ella sees pete cringing like a puckered butt hole  
> \>"i know why you did it, you have nothing to be ashamed of"  
> \>pete lightens up like someone stuck a needle full of adrenaline into his chest  
> \>meanwhile, im lost in ella's eyes... studying her beautiful face as she talks   
> \>"so, im going to give you your chance! go ahead, ask"  
> \>"a-a-a-ask what?" - pete shits the bed  
> \>ella tilts her head and gives him a "really?" face  
> \>pete comes around again  
> \>gains his composure like a champ for the first time during the conversation  
> \>"well.. do you want to grab a cup of coffee with me after school?"  
> \>ella smiles at him and playfully nods with her eyes closed  
> \>"i would love that pete" - and she chuckles  
> \>and i sit there like a faggot thinking of asking "can i come too?"  
> \>ella is beyond words to me  
> \>i feel stupid and powerless near her  
> \>"thank you..." - pete barely makes any sense  
> \>i cant imagine being in his place right now  
> \>getting the greenlight from ella after believing that he fucked up so badly  
> \>ella laughs playfully and changes the subject  
> \>so we sat there and talked about our lives and how we knew each other for an hour  
> \>and i was able to get to know ella  
> \>even if it was for a little bit  
> \>but it was an amazing experience  

> \>couple of weeks later  
> \>pete and ella were a couple  
> \>ive never seen pete so happy   
> \>he was over the clouds, all the time  
> \>the guy was out of his mind  
> \>counting seconds for their next date everytime he kissed ella goodbye  
> \>and i was happy for my bro  
> \>but at the same time  
> \>i couldnt help but feel uneasy everytime i saw ella  
> \>ella was still the most amazing woman i have ever seen in my life  
> \>nothing came remotely close to matching her beauty  
> \>not to mention her wits  
> \>and speaking to her was more fun than i could ever have, doing anything  
> \>and i was trying extremely hard not to fall for her  
> \>i owed it to my bro and to myself  
> \>fortunately, ella came to my help  
> \>she introduced her fried nicole to me  
> \>nicole was the girl in pete's fashion class, the girl ella was talking about  
> \>nicole was an incredibly beautiful girl  
> \>she was this amazing redhead  
> \>5'6", big soft titties, nice curvy body  
> \>pale blue eyes, cute little freckles on her face  
> \>you would think that a beautiful girl like ella wouldnt be bffs with another beauty like nicole  
> \>9 out of 10 times, you would be right  
> \>but ella had no competition  
> \>she was beyond competition  
> \>ella could have been friends with the biggest bimbo there ever was  
> \>or she could have been hanging out with a fucking swedish bikini team  
> \>she could have been sleepwalking in her pjs on a victorias secret catwalk at a new years show for all i care  
> \>no matter the situation, ella was always the one you looked at first  
> \>but yeah... nicole was a bombshell too  
> \>and she was something else entirely...  

> \>4 of us started hanging out together  
> \>started going to the parties  
> \>hanging out after school  
> \>going to the movies  
> \>and slowly, nicole and i got very close  
> \>she had an amazing sense of humor  
> \>knew a lot about subcultures and shit  
> \>finally, after a night out together  
> \>pete and ella decided to go to ella's room by themselves  
> \>turns out ella's roommate was back at home for a family emergency or something like that  
> \>and nicole and i kissed  
> \>soon after, we officialy became a couple  
> \>after what felt like an eternity, i wasnt interested in ella that much  
> \>it felt good, not feeling like cheating on my bro  
> \>nicole was amazing in bed  
> \>in all things related to sex, she was a dream come true  
> \>the fantazies she was into were mind boggling  
> \>the things she wore to turn me on  
> \>stockings, garterbelts, schoolgirl outfits  
> \>surprising me with wake up bjs after a long night of sex  
> \>OHLAWD  
> \>some nights i would think, how the fuck am i supposed to regain my sexual appetite after this  
> \>a couple hours later, there she was again  
> \>wearing something ridiculously sexy  
> \>doing things you could lose your mind for  
> \>the places we fucked   
> \>and the positions we tried were pure pornographic shit  
> \>it felt like half of my daily diet was being used for producing semen  
> \>she wouldnt use condoms  
> \>NOSIR  
> \>"wheres the fun in that?" - she asked me the first time we were about to have sex  
> \>she sucked my dick like a vacuum and swallowed everything  
> \>smiling like a sassy high school girl  
> \>always wanting more and more  

> \>good thing i was fit and young  
> \>you cant do some of the things she asked for when youre 29  
> \>i would eat her out until i couldnt feel my tongue  
> \>the girl was a queen of multiple orgasms  
> \>there was no stopping until she said enough  
> \>her sexual needs were so immense, i had a hard time satisfying her...  
> \>i was scared shitless if there would come a time when im simply not enough  
> \>but...  
> \>she was loyal and honest as fuck  
> \>never even flirted with the other guys, let alone cheat on me  
> \>i was really skeptical at first  
> \>its a complete opposite of what you would expect  
> \>i somehow raised the issue with a delicate yet curious manner  
> \>i was treading lightly  
> \>didnt want to offend her  
> \>"youre mine anon, and im yours" - she told me  
> \>"nothing will change that until such a time comes that we both decide otherwise" - she would furiously declare  
> \>if there ever was a woman made out of wife material  
> \>nicole was the ultimate prototype  
> \>her understanding of a relationship was beyond belief  
> \>and her connection to me was unbreakable  
> \>she was so incorruptible  
> \>she would straight up hit the guys trying to chat her up in their faces  
> \>"you come near me again and i swear to god i will use my entire boyfriend like a retractable baton and fuck you in the ass with him"  
> \>thats an actual fucking quote i heard her shout at some poor kid  
> \>HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT.  
> \>and there i was, standing like a beta fag who has just won the lottery  
> \>my diamond hard dick pulsating to her commanding voice  
> \>then she kisses me like there is no tomorrow  
> \>finds an empty room in a house full of partying people  
> \>hangs my sock on the door knob  
> \>and fucks my brains out  
> \>yeah... that was nicole in a nutshell  

> \>so i have never imagined there would be trouble at the paradise  
> \>but come summer time, something else happened  
> \>my dad asked one of his old friends in LA for an internship position on my behalf  
> \>his friend accepted me to his firm  
> \>and while everyone was having a great time  
> \>i was supposed to work at the accounting department of this design office in LA  
> \>this meant that i wasnt going to spend my summer satisfying nicole  
> \>or doing anything fun for that matter  
> \>before she went to the airport  
> \>nicole kissed me as if we werent going to see each other again, like ever  
> \>"you don't forget who you belong to mister..." - she told me with tearful eyes  
> \>"i wont nicole, i promise"  
> \>man... the love and care this girl had shown me was something else  
> \>even tho i told her numerous times that i loved her - and i meant it  
> \>i had this feeling that my love for her didnt even come close to what she felt towards me  
> \>"you take care of yourself, you hear?" - and she left, hesitantly walking backwards to her bus to the airport  
> \>pete had already gone home previous weekend  
> \>so i was all by myself, walking around in this college ghost town  
> \>on my way back to the dorm  
> \>wanting to pack my stuff asap and get ready for my flight to LA  
> \>there she was, walking towards me  
> \>ella...  
> \>"hey! sup anon?" - she greeted me with a warm smile  
> \>"hey ella... i just sent off nicole"  
> \>"awww.. you guuuyyss... she cried right?" - with a snappy laugh - "i know she cried!"  
> \>"haha, well you know her, right?"  
> \>"she loves you anon, thats why" - ella reached out and stroked my arm, showing the she cared  
> \>for the first time in quite a while, i suddenly felt a jolt, a rush  
> \>it was like the time when i first saw her upclose  
> \>as her cold hands brushed my skin, my pupils dilated  
> \>like the first sip of a morning coffee  
> \>a surge of a small dose of adrenaline hit my body  

> \>i quickly broke out of her spell  
> \>i had to  
> \>"so.. where are you off to ella?"  
> \>"oh.. im leaving tomorrow morning, off to see my parents in LA"  
> \>WUT  
> \>"ummm... we might be on the same flight.." - that was the most sexually neutral thing i could think of at that time  
> \>"you serious? what are you doing in LA?" - ella asked with a delighted curiosity, her big green eyes glimmering with excitement  
> \>"i have this job my dad arranged for me.. im not exactly going there for a vacation" - i pout  
> \>"awww.. dont worry anon, ill keep you company, it will be fine i promise" - cheerfully reassuring me  
> \>my heart skipped a beat  
> \>before i could say anything  
> \>"oh! look at the time, i gotta go now, but hey, see you in LA, if not earlier!" - she winked at me  
> \>she waved and started walking in the other direction  
> \>after mumbling some non-intelligible verbal expressions like "hey.. ye.. wut.. oh" i waved at her  
> \>and watched her disappear around the corner  
> \>and as i was trying to make sense of what just happened, nicole's teary eyed face kept coming into my mind  
> \>i felt like a complete asshole  
> \>what the fuck am i so excited about?  
> \>i mean... ella is my bro's gf  
> \>shes bffs with my gf  
> \>what the fuck am i thinking  
> \>why am i suddenly feeling awkward again?  
> \>i tried not to think about it and started walking away   
> \>next morning was even harder for me  
> \>we were on the same bus to the airport  
> \>and when it was time to check in to our flight  
> \>we were side by side  
> \>naturally, you cant ask to be seated elsewhere when the person youre trying to avoid is right next to you  
> \>i couldnt believe that i was thinking about being seated elsewhere too  
> \>ella was not only a friend  
> \>she was also the one person i had to think of almost as a sister  
> \>i kept texting nicole to make sure that i was ok  
> \>reminding myself of "who i belonged to"  
> \>i was scared, because it wasnt helping at all  
> \>acting like everything is alright  
> \>i boarded the plane with ella  

> \>after chatting for a bit with ella  
> \>she fell asleep  
> \>after some time, i did too  
> \>when i woke up  
> \>her head was on my shoulder  
> \>and my head was on hers  
> \>her fragrant hair was all over my face  
> \>she smelled of vanilla and berries  
> \>her gorgeous scent was so enchanting, i started getting the strangest boner of my life  
> \>i was unsure about what to do  
> \>do i slowly back off?  
> \>do i keep leaning against her head and savor the moment?  
> \>what the fuck am i thinking? why is this an issue?  

now i know there must be a lot of you out there, calling me a beta fag
but if bros before hoes doesnt apply here, then where else?

> \>the only thing i was able to do was to raise my head out of her hair  
> \>and sit upright as best as i could  
> \>i couldnt bring myself to pull away from her  
> \>then as if things couldnt get any worse  
> \>she mumbled in her sleep and put her hand on my chest  
> \>embracing me as if she was sleeping next to pete  
> \>her beautiful hand was lightly hanging on to my shirt  
> \>her cold fingertips gently grazing my bare chest  
> \>this is torture  
> \>pete's voice is ringing in my ears  
> \>"i love her man, i fucking love her" - the time he told me at a party, watching ella from the other side of the room  
> \>with an admiration and love i havent seen before on any mans face  
> \>then i remember nicole again  
> \>and the discernment and the loyalty she has displayed time and again in the face of temptation  
> \>i felt like shit  
> \>concentrated, wc clogging brick of a shit  

> \>an excruciating hour later she woke up  
> \>she blinked her eyes rapidly as she tried to sober up  
> \>and yawned and stretched  
> \>i was losing my mind to the sight of her delicate body  
> \>as every muscle on her body vibrated and contracted  
> \>i was trying to force myself to look away  
> \>not notice her  
> \>but i couldnt  
> \>she looked at me with her sleepy green eyes  
> \>"oh, sorry anon... i get very untidy in my sleep" - she chuckled  
> \>"no worries.." - i tried to match her chuckle nerveously  
> \>shortly after that, we landed  
> \>her parents came to welcome her   
> \>she introduced me to them  
> \>they were nice people, really warm and welcoming  
> \>her mom, after learning that i was gonna be alone in LA  
> \>invited me to their place  
> \>i kindly declined their invitation, telling that my father has already rented an appartement for me  
> \>"well, next week, you must at least come have dinner with us then!" - ella ordered  
> \>"ok then, deal" - i accepted her offer with a million questions and ideas racing in my mind  
> \>shortly after we parted ways, i called nicole and talked to her for an hour  
> \>trying to remind myself of who i am  
> \>and texted pete, telling him about how ella and i were on the same flight to LA  
> \>i hated myself for feeling that an explanation was necessary  
> \>"hey pete, dont worry buddy, my dick wasnt fully erect the whole time she was sleeping on my shoulder" - sorta thing  
> \>"it got hard only when she started stretching her muscles... its aaaiight.."  
> \>FUCK...  

> \>i settled at home  
> \>met people at work  
> \>its boring but its ok  
> \>im in LA, lots of things to do  
> \>lots of free time when im not working 9 to 5  
> \>and its only part time so i only work 3 days a week  
> \>a week later ella picks me up from work  
> \>and we go to her house like i promised  
> \>everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpeg  
> \>her parents are really cool  
> \>lots of drinking, talking, joking around  
> \>she has a younger brother, jake  
> \>he is 11   
> \>he is a nerd but he is handsome in the same way ella is beautfiul  
> \>fucking little man is on his way to become a motherfucking 10/10 alpha   
> \>i start talking to him  
> \>we hit it off really well  
> \>i start playing vidya with him in his room  
> \>ella joins in   
> \>im like WUT  
> \>turns out ella is a hardcore gamer  
> \>then the feeling returns once more  
> \>ella is sitting between me and jake  
> \>and im trying to hide my boner under a n64 controller  
> \>feeling like im cheating on nicole again  
> \>i start drooling as she kicks our asses in mario kart  
> \>"oh well..." - ella rubs jake's head   
> \>and she turns to me and winks  
> \>"i dunno what you guys were expecting"  
> \>i forget how to speak english as i see her smug face next to mine  
> \>her piercing green eyes  
> \>her sharp, pointy nose couple inches away from me  
> \>her cheeks, red like apples after the rush and excitement of the game  
> \>tiny drops of sweat rolling down on her delicate neck  
> \>my mouth is wide open   
> \>she starts laughing when she sees my dumb as fuck face  
> \>"i only play adventure games anyway, monkey island and such..." - i try to bail out  
> \>"oh is that right, mr. threepwood?" - ella teases me  
> \>OMFG im about to drop dead  
> \>her mom calls us for dessert and coffee  
> \>i stay for another hour, then her dad drives me back to my place  

> \>next week, she called me and asked if i wanna hang out  
> \>i was afraid of how fast i responded "yes!"  
> \>she showed me the sights  
> \>we went to her favorite places  
> \>eating ice cream, hanging out in cafes and shit  
> \>about a month and a half into my stay in LA, i met a couple of her old friends  
> \>i could easily see that some of her high school boys were still in love with her  
> \>losing their minds over how lucky they are to see her once again  
> \>some of them even eyeballed me before ella told them that i was just a friend  
> \>"just a friend" - she said  
> \>and for no reason at all, i felt as if my heart imploded  
> \>whats wrong with what she said?  
> \>yeah, ofc i was just a friend  
> \>it wasnt like i was friendzoned or anything  
> \>she had a bf, i had a gf  
> \>so i was just a friend  
> \>but i was heartbroken nonetheless  
> \>we decided to go to the beach next week  
> \>so next week, 5 of ella's friends and i were at the beach  
> \>9/10 - 10/10 girls with slutty thongs all around us  
> \>everyone is like who gives a shit  
> \>i was the only horny fuck checking out every piece of ass around us  
> \>ella was wearing these loose summer pants and an old XL white shirt  
> \>we find a nice spot  
> \>get settled  
> \>then ella starts taking off her pants and shirt  
> \>.......i force myself to look elsewhere its so painful  
> \>i shit you not  
> \>every fucking person within a 50 feet radius starts looking  
> \>10/10 girls with tight asses and big tits starts cringing  
> \>i can see how jealous they feel  
> \>men are hnnnggg  
> \>then i say fuck it  
> \>i will have to see her body eventually  
> \>no escape  
> \>and i look at her  

> \>just a pair of jet black bikinis  
> \>in them, the most unquestionably beautfiul woman there ever was  
> \>her wavy auburn hair streams to her broad but willowy shoulders  
> \>sharp sunlight is glimmering on her bright green eyes  
> \>her face is already tanned  
> \>reddish spots are formed over her soft cheeks  
> \>her petite pink lips  
> \>and her sharp, small diamond chin  
> \>both moisturized by tiny droplets of sweat  
> \>the elongated and tender tendons on her neck line flows   
> \>to the most beautiful and deep jugular notch  
> \>surrounded by her sharp clavicles  
> \>and then i see them...  
> \>i dont think ive ever seen such breasts before  
> \>not with my own eyes  
> \>not in pictures, not in real life  
> \>slightly bigger than plump greyfruits  
> \>and smooth and solid as if they were carved out of marble  
> \>they stand at attention  
> \>amused by the incompetence of frail gravity  
> \>her small nipples, mildly protruding out of her bikini top  
> \>like searchlights, pointing way up into the sky  
> \>my eyes hover over that sight for a few seconds  
> \>and admire her chest like they have seen the most beautiful work of art ever created  
> \>then i look down  
> \>see her belly  
> \>she has a set of lightly defined muscles surrounding her tummy  
> \>her waist is lean  
> \>and forms a very elegant and gentle hourglass shape  
> \>as they connect to her curvy yet tight hips  
> \>another piece of black cloth covers the magnificent V shape  
> \>the sight of a barely concealed bulge on the cloth stops my heart for a second  
> \>it is an unbelievable awareness, knowing whats behind that cloth  
> \>there is a small opening beneath her crotch  
> \>and i can see the sandy beach in the background from between her legs  
> \>as the lengthy muscles on her thighs expand and contract  
> \>and shiver and vibrate to the warm breeze of cali  
> \>her small knees play around  
> \>and her lower legs keep to the pace  
> \>as the tanned muscles around her tibias enjoy the sunlight  
> \>her feet dig shallow spots in the sand  
> \>tip of her toes curl and point   
> \>her heels ascend out of the sand and dance in the air  
> \>ella. words are empty...  

> \>my eyes were fixed on ella  
> \>ella looks at me  
> \>she leans in with a funny smile on her face  
> \>her youthful breasts come closer to my face than ever before  
> \>"you are staring anon!" - she says calmly while giggling  
> \>my face turns into a mexican tomato plantation  
> \>she walks by me towards the ocean  
> \>looks back with a smile warmer than midday sun  
> \>"you coming?" - and runs into the luke warm water while bouncing her perfect fanny   
> \>"i... im.. in a minute, yeah..."  
> \>i wasnt about to display the biggest tent of my life in front of everyone   
> \>she voices a snappy laugh and starts backstroking away from the beach  
> \>i sit there and start reciting the multiplication table  
> \>as if i was with nicole in bed, trying to delay the inevitable  
> \>moments later i join her  
> \>"um... sorry about before" - i apologize sheepishly  
> \>"haha! dont worry about it, you should have seen pete's face when he first saw me in my underwear"  
> \>mfw ellainsexyunderwear.jpg  
> \>and we're back to where we started. good thing my tent is now underwater  
> \>i try to speak but all im doing is keeping my mouth open without saying anything  
> \>ella is laughing hysterically  
> \>"are your serious anon?"  
> \>"s-s-serious how?"  
> \>"are you seriously thinking of me in my underwear right now?"  
> \>"it.. it comes and goes" - WHAT THE FUCK AM I SAYING  
> \>ella laughs and splashes water to my face  
> \>"come on underwear boy! swim!"  
> \>she starts swimming  
> \>i have nothing else to do but follow her  
> \>few moments later she stops swimming and turns to me  
> \>"hey.. did you call nicole? you guys talking, yes?"  
> \>BUZZ KILL!  
> \>"yeah.. why?"  
> \>"good. you keep doing that. than you can imagine me in my underwear all you want"  
> \>"..."  
> \>she chuckles like a prankster and starts swimming back  
> \>my mouth was like a keyboard with coffee spilled all over it  
> \>i followed her back to the beach  

> \>i spent the rest of the day thinking about nicole  
> \>thinking about pete  
> \>and thinking about ella  
> \>i really didnt have to think about ella, since she was suntanning her gorgeous body next to me  
> \>before everybody went home  
> \>ella asked me if i wanted to hang out with her next weekend  
> \>i accepted, naturally  
> \>after i went home, my dad called  
> \>told me to get ready for a trip  
> \>wut?  
> \>yeah... apparently, i was supposed to go to hong kong  
> \>turns out, my dad is more connected than i previously believed  
> \>i had just a week left to spend in LA  
> \>then it was time for hong kong  
> \>after i spoke to my dad, pete called  
> \>his voice was all fucked up  
> \>told me that ella broke up with her a week ago  
> \>0___________o  
> \>i switched to bro mode and started calling ella a bitch and whatnot  
> \>"dude.. stop.." - he said calmly  
> \>?  
> \>"she was right. this wasnt going anywhere..."  
> \>"how.. what?"  
> \>"look anon, i have nothing that i can offer to her" - pete started explaining  
> \>he told me how ella was smarter than him and how it wasnt about sex or being an alpha and all that shit  
> \>basically like everything else about her, ella was not exactly your usual sorority girl  
> \>she was in her own alpha-omega-fuckyou club  
> \>and pete had nothing more than 4 months worth of fashion class and a few dirty jokes to show for an admission  
> \>"anyways... thought you should know man. take care" - and he hung up  
> \>i was terrified when i realized my first thought was  
> \>"now what do i do with nicole?"  
> \>and my next,  
> \>"what the fuck am i supposed to do in hong kong???"  

> \>next week, i decided to ask ella about what happened before we went to the museum  
> \>we meet  
> \>kiss&hug  
> \>"sup anon!" - shes cheerful as usual  
> \>"sup ella... so... pete called me"  
> \>her head becomes apologetically heavy  
> \>"sorry for not telling you anon, didnt want you to think less of me before speaking to pete first"  
> \>"why?"  
> \>ella looks at me, feeling stuck between her friendship with me and my friendship with pete  
> \>"wasnt working anon.. things dont always work out. what did pete say about me?"  
> \>"only good things"  
> \>"what did you tell him?"  
> \>"me? i was just.. trying to be a bro i guess"  
> \>ella pouts  
> \>"sorry for putting you in that situation"  
> \>this is the first time ive seen ella unable to drive the conversation  
> \>she looks way too submissive  
> \>i feel bad  
> \>"hey look.. its ok, its not my place to say anything" - i try to comfort her  
> \>ella looks at me, almost waiting for my approval  
> \>then i say  
> \>"lets move on, shall we? besides, we have a date" - WUUUUT  
> \>ella blushes  
> \>i realize what ive just said and how it might be so easily misunderstood  
> \>"ok.." - she doesnt push it and saves me from my own demise  
> \>we get inside the natural history museum and start wandering around aimlessly  
> \>without talking  
> \>couldn't tell her that i was leaving for hong kong 2 days from now  
> \>both our minds are elsewhere  
> \>we get to the prehistorics section  
> \>see the dinosaur skeletons   

and no, they DONT WALK

> \>then we get to the early humans or some other stuff i dunno  
> \>i dont remember why but we stopped in front of this neanderthal skull on display  
> \>we just look at it  

> \>kinda reminds me of something  
> \>"you know.. this looks somewhat familiar.." - i say without looking at ella  
> \>ella doesnt say anything at first, but then  
> \>"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"  
> \>she loudly cracks an evil laughter in the middle of the fucking hall  
> \>she looks at me with a funny evil face  
> \>with a crackled, badly impersonated manly voice  
> \>"i am a powerful demonic force! i am the harbinger of your doom! let me hear you scream in terror!"  
> \>X______X im melting right now  
> \>i remember  
> \>she gives me a warm smile and starts laughing  
> \>i remember why that skull looks so familiar  
> \>SHES FUCKING DOING MURRAY FROM FUCKING MONKEY ISLAND 3  
> \>mylifeiscomplete.jpeg  
> \>everyone is looking at us like wtf is wrong with these people  
> \>i get so excited my hands start shaking  
> \>"oh.. i think i did it a bit too loud" - she whispers as she keeps chuckling  
> \>"you.. you played mi3?" - i ask her stammering  
> \>"oh i love it anon!" - she grins  
> \>"..."  
> \>"i figured you would remember murray, you being the adventure gamer and all"   
> \>i have nothing to say  
> \>at that moment, ella stopped being a crush i could hardly admit to  
> \>and turned into my lifes goal i have no idea what to do with  
> \>we started talking about monkey island  
> \>then full throttle  
> \>indiana jones and the fate of atlantis  
> \>all lucas arts games  
> \>old school adventures  
> \>we were cracking jokes  
> \>impersonating key characters  
> \>acting out funny moments  
> \>it got to the point of singing theme songs  
> \>thats when we realized we are sitting next to a prehistoric animal   
> \>in the middle of the museum  
> \>talking about weird games and such like nerds  
> \>security is giving us funny looks  
> \>we laughed about it and decided to leave  

> \>it was getting late, sun was about to set  
> \>"hey anon, come home with me. have dinner with us again!" - ella grabbed my arm and asked me cheerfully  
> \>"id love that!"  
> \>and we went to her house once more  
> \>her parents gladly welcomed me to their home  
> \>jake was in a summer camp or some such  
> \>during dinner, all we could talk about was games  
> \>and anime, comics, the whole nerd nine yards  
> \>her mom and dad were giving each other smirky looks  
> \>i didnt care  
> \>i was losing my mind  
> \>ella... the perfect girl...  
> \>ella invited me to her room  
> \>and that was the first time ive seen ella's room  
> \>anime posters on the walls  
> \>cute bed sheets with girly flowers and stuff  
> \>A WHOLE FUCKING BOOKCASE FULL OF VIDYA  
> \>her neatly folded clothes everywhere  
> \>a full repertoire of fashion pete studied to understand for a whole semester  
> \>a cute and girly elegance  
> \>and a hardcore and tomboyish geekdom  
> \>the best of both worlds, if there was ever such a thing  
> \>"...im at a loss for words" - i declare with my mouth wide open  
> \>ella chuckles and playfully punches my shoulder  
> \>"shut up.. what were you expecting? wall-to-wall posters of some boyband?"  
> \>"hahah.. no, i.. i love it.." - i look around with a huge grin on my face  
> \>"good. now im going to beat your ass in mario kart again. sit down"  
> \>as she forcibly seats me on the floor and in front of a small tv  
> \>huge amounts of cute hearts gush out of all of my bodily orifices   
> \>ella goes over to jake's room and brings the n64  
> \>and we start playing  
> \>this is heaven...  

> \>she kicks my ass in mario kart again  
> \>we switch to SF  
> \>she kicks my ass yet again  
> \>next we try split screen 007  
> \>and guess what.. she kicks my ass again  
> \>she fires up the PS and starts showing me MGS  
> \>ive never played MGS until then, yeah dont judge ok?  
> \>she starts telling me about the story, going crazy excited  
> \>shows me the controls and starts watching as i fumble around  
> \>laughs at my stupidity and ineptness every now and then  
> \>i play and play, lose myself, immerse myself in the excellence of MGS  
> \>then i pause the game  
> \>and realize that she has fallen asleep with her head on my shoulder  
> \>her sweet vanilla and berry scent filling my lungs once more  
> \>she looks peaceful and happy  
> \>i quit the game and put down the controller  
> \>i gently embrace her exquisite body  
> \>putting my arms behind her back and under her beautiful legs  
> \>the thin veneer of her skirt rolls back, revealing her thighs  
> \>i carefully carry her to bed   
> \>tuck her in  
> \>just look at her and appreciate her unbelievable beauty for a moment...  
> \>its 3 am, her parents must already be asleep  
> \>i dont have any way of returning home  
> \>i turn off the tv and the lights  
> \>grab a pack of neatly folded tshirts and use them as a makeshift pillow  
> \>and curl up on the floor  
> \>its hard to fall asleep, the floor is too uncomfy  
> \>i hear shuffling behind me  
> \>i figure she must be turning around in her sleep  
> \>then i feel her hand on my back  
> \>then over my shoulder  
> \>and she rests it on my chest, pulling a thin sheet of blanket over both of us  
> \>her small feet play around and curl up next to mine as she spoons me  
> \>i grab her cold hand and press it firmly against my chest  
> \>she mumbles and plants her face to the back of my neck  
> \>and i fall asleep, madly in love  

> \>next morning when i woke up, she was still sleeping  
> \>during the night, we ended up facing each other  
> \>when i opened my eyes, i found myself looking at her angelic face  
> \>her hair was all over me  
> \>her hand was still holding on to my shirt  
> \>like the time it was back on the plane  
> \>i could feel her breath on my lips  
> \>i wanted to stay there  
> \>more than anything, i wanted to lay next to her forever  
> \>and i wanted to kiss her so much  
> \>but all i could think of was nicole's face  
> \>i carefully reached for my phone in my pocket  
> \>nicole left me a text  
> \>"hey you! wanted to surprise you before you go to hong kong, im in LA! call me when you wake up! i love you :)"  
> \>OHSHIT.gif  
> \>i go pale  
> \>my mouth dries up  
> \>my heart starts beating to a fight or flight moment  
> \>i gently put ella's hand down  
> \>and back off without waking her up  
> \>i grab my things and exit the house without anyone noticing  
> \>i call nicole  
> \>she tells me to meet her on venice beach  
> \>grab a bite to eat on the way  
> \>coffee to wake up  
> \>the moment i see her i realize the mistake ive made  
> \>my hair is all messed up  
> \>im still wearing yesterdays clothes  
> \>i didnt even brush my teeth  
> \>and my entire body smells like ella's perfume  
> \>nevergofullretard.avi  
> \>its too late  
> \>she sees me and starts running towards me  
> \>and jumps to my arms  

> \>she digs her lips into my mouth  
> \>holds me tightly  
> \>starts kissing me furiously  
> \>then she slows down  
> \>and then completely stops  
> \>her hands and arms lose their grasp on me  
> \>slowly pulls away  
> \>she gently pushes me back to take a better look at me  
> \>she sees the guilt and fear on my face  
> \>her pupils dilate  
> \>she starts turning red  
> \>her eyes fill with fury and anger like nothing ive seen before  
> \>her right hand pulls back and flies into my face  
> \>it lands perfectly  
> \>my ears start ringing  
> \>my vision is blurred  
> \>she doesnt talk  
> \>i dont have anything to say for myself  
> \>i just stay there, with half of my face completely numb  
> \>unable to face her, unable to look her in the eyes  
> \>she slowly turns around and starts walking  
> \>looks back  
> \>"...you coming?" - she looks at me with tear filled mad eyes  
> \>i obey and start following her  
> \>we sit on a bench overlooking venice beach  
> \>we sit there for a few minutes before she finally asks  
> \>"did you sleep with her?" - she doesnt look at me  
> \>"no..."  
> \>"did you kiss her?"  
> \>"no..."  
> \>she stops for a moment  
> \>i realize whats coming.. and its too late  
> \>she turns to me with a face full of tears of anger  
> \>"you... youre in love with her????"  
> \>i cant say anything. i just sit there, my head as low as it can go  
> \>"for how FUCKING long, anon?" - her voice trembles  
> \>"..."  
> \>"how long?..." - she asks again, barely audible  

> \>"i dont know"  
> \>she hesitates for a moment and then starts talking again  
> \>"i should have known... for the past month, you were all ella could talk about anon"  
> \>i couldnt believe what i was hearing  
> \>i wake up to the shock of this revelation  
> \>"she talked to you about me?" - i ask her, with a skeptical and messed up face  
> \>"yeah.." - she opens her eyes wide, sarcastically  
> \>"..."  
> \>"can you believe that? you became her number one friend"  
> \>"her confidant"  
> \>"her bff" - she violently fingerquotes her snappish remark  
> \>i dont have anything to say to nicole  
> \>"...and i cant be angry at her for getting close to you, anon..."  
> \>she stopped  
> \>"but you..." - she gets close to my face and puts her index finger sharply to my chest  
> \>"you should have known better" - tapping my chest with her finger  
> \>"..."  
> \>"...answer me anon" - she whispers  
> \>"..."  
> \>"ANSWER ME!"  
> \>"WHAT??" - i turn to her  
> \>she jumped back with a surprise  
> \>this was the first time she has seen me scream at anyone, let alone her  
> \>"what do you want me to say nicole? that i love her? that i care for her? that no matter how i feel about you, i cant control how i also feel about her? that even when you and i were just friends and ella was with pete, i couldnt help but feel a strong desire for her?"  
> \>nicole didnt talk. she just stood there and watched me talk with a heartbroken face  
> \>"what do you want me to say nicole?"  
> \>"..."  
> \>"what do you want me to say? that the first thing i felt was relief when pete told me that she broke up with him?"  
> \>"ok..." - she whispered and stared into the distance  

***

> \>we continued to talk  
> \>getting angry at each other at times  
> \>but it was more upsetting than vexing  
> \>after an hour of furious argument  
> \>we were tired  
> \>even when pissed off, nicole didnt hold back her love for me  
> \>she got close to me and put her head on my shoulder  
> \>and we started watching the sunset  

> \>"you know what anon..." - she spoke kindly, like a whisper - "there isnt enough sex tricks in the world to keep you away from ella"  
> \>i froze. i felt like a sharp object has pierced thru my chest  
> \>"and there isnt enough small jokes, bouquet of flowers or boxes of chocolate that pete can come to her door with"  
> \>she sighed...  
> \>"so he can hold on to ella..."  
> \>i couldnt speak... couldnt breathe  
> \>"and its alright anon... no matter what we do, you guys were made for each other" - she spoke as she gave in to reality  
> \>"so you go ahead. i told you that you were mine until we both decided otherwise"  
> \>"..."  
> \>"and we both decided otherwise, you know that..."  
> \>i sat there... with nicole's head on my shoulder  
> \>staring blankly into the crowd of people on venice beach  
> \>knowing that theres no amount of rights i can make to fix the wrong i did her  
> \>the person who loved me so blindly, so vigorously   
> \>that even in the moment of her defeat, she still wanted what was best for me  
> \>"just do one last thing for me.." - she whispered  
> \>i turned my face to her  
> \>and kissed her with a passion like i never have  
> \>she held my face in her small hands  
> \>and broke our bond  
> \>"go" - she said, trying to hold back her tears  
> \>"go before i change my mind... go!" - she started to cry  
> \>holding her hand, i got up. i hesitantly started stepping away  
> \>our arms stretched and reached their length as our fingertips grazed each other and broke away  
> \>i started walking backwards...  
> \>looking at her  
> \>realizing what i have done   
> \>feeling like shit  
> \>nicole wasnt looking at me  
> \>her head dropped  
> \>the palms of her hands were trying to hide the tears  
> \>she was quietly sobbing  
> \>i gasped for air and forced myself away from her  
> \>trying not to think about it  
> \>running away like an asshole  
> \>i must have walked for 3 hours  
> \>not knowing what to do  
> \>it was getting late  
> \>i finally made my decision  
> \>i hailed a cab  
> \>and gave the driver ella's home address  

> \>i arrive at ella's house  
> \>i approach her door  
> \>not knowing what to expect  
> \>i ring the bell  
> \>the door opens  
> \>my heart stops when i see her  
> \>she lowers the cellphone from her ear  
> \>looks at me  
> \>"that was nicole..." - she shakes the phone in her hand  
> \>her beautiful green eyes are bloodshot  
> \>tears running down her face  
> \>she closes the door  
> \>"ella.." - i breathlessly shriek  
> \>i turn my back to her door  
> \>i start walking  
> \>and then collapse  
> \>i start crying like a bitch  
> \>this is just too much  
> \>first nicole  
> \>and now ella...  
> \>the door quietly clicks open again  
> \>the afternoon sun casts a shadow over me  
> \>the shadow eagerly waits  
> \>"what did she say to you..." - i can barely speak  
> \>"that you loved me more than her, you stupid fuck"  
> \>a cold hand grabs my collar  
> \>and pulls me with force  
> \>i stumble and walk to ella's door, following her stern pace  
> \>tears and snot on my face, ugly as fuck  
> \>as i pass thru the doorway  
> \>she turns around  
> \>violently slams the door with a flick of her hand  
> \>and pins me to the shut door with force  
> \>stuffs my face with her lips  

> \>my heart is beating like a jackhammer  
> \>she just stays frozen  
> \>her lips nailed to mine  
> \>her chilled hands hanging from my collar  
> \>her intense kiss gently becomes tender  
> \>and she stops kissing me  
> \>clumsily wipes my wet face with her hands  
> \>sporadically chuckling her heart out while crying tears of joy   
> \>"you look like shit.." - she laughs nerveously  
> \>i smile and laugh  
> \>"come on.. you need a shower"  
> \>she drags me to her bathroom and gives me fresh towels  
> \>i take a shower for an hour  
> \>trying to calm my nerves, trying to make sense to this calamity  
> \>i take way longer than usual  
> \>knowing that when i get out i will have to face her  
> \>and have a talk  
> \>i finally get out and wrap myself with her towels  
> \>go to her room  
> \>ella is in her pjs  
> \>her hair is wet  
> \>she must have had a shower too  
> \>shes sitting on her bed all curled up, holding on to her legs   
> \>she has a deeply concerned look on her face  
> \>i sit next to her and stare at the wall  
> \>expecting a million questions  
> \>she simply says  
> \>"go ahead, say it"  
> \>i dont understand.. i mean say what???  
> \>"say it" - she tells me again with a calm voice  
> \>"...i love you"  
> \>"good"  
> \>she puts her hands on my face  
> \>and her lips on mine  
> \>and gives me the warmest, most gentle kiss i could have imagined  
> \>we fall back to the bed  
> \>she embraces me  

> \>while her freezing hands caress my skin like ice  
> \>her hot soft lips brush against my face like a velvet cloth  
> \>i hold her tightly   
> \>she opens her arms and lays back  
> \>presents herself to me with an innocent smile on her face  
> \>i take my time and study her  
> \>i dont want to rush anything  
> \>"my parents are gone for the day... we're aaaaall alone" - she sings playfully  
> \>i have all the time in the world  
> \>i rub her tummy  
> \>and kiss the notch under her neck  
> \>she sighs  
> \>ella holds on to me tightly and locks me into herself with her legs  
> \>we stay like that for a long time  
> \>kissing and touching each other  
> \>enjoying the warmth of our bodies  
> \>she pulls her knees up, almost reaching my head  
> \>using her toes  
> \>she carefully grips the edge of the towel on my waist  
> \>starts to slide it down surgically  
> \>exposing me  
> \>ella looks down  
> \>then looks up  
> \>and flashes me a suggestive smirk  
> \>her legs are gingerly dancing on my upperbody  
> \>i can feel the muscles on her legs expanding and contracting as they move around  
> \>i slide my hand from her back to her bottom  
> \>i feel the magnificent curvature of her strained hips  
> \>and catch the waist of her pj bottoms with my fingers  
> \>i slowly pull them down along with her panties  
> \>i feel a gush of warmth in my hand  
> \>i touch her silky smooth bare bottoms  
> \>she bites her lips and dives in to my lips again  
> \>shes kissing me strenuously this time  
> \>hot air licks my face as she exhales from her small pointy nose  

> \>and then i closed my eyes  
> \>and pressed my entire body againts hers  
> \>we slowly curled up into each other  
> \>getting closer and closer  
> \>you would think there is a physical limit to how close you can get to someone  
> \>that limit is not really as apart as it may seem  
> \>there is a point where you fail to distinguish skin from skin  
> \>we hugged each other so tightly  
> \>grabbed onto each other like dear life  
> \>as if we somehow let go, we would fall to our deaths  
> \>we became one  
> \>i dont remember at which point we were actually "having sex"  
> \>with that amount of love and such a strong intimacy  
> \>you dont really understand whats going on  
> \>you dont pay attention to how youre "satisfying" yourself and your partner  
> \>its not about tips and tricks anymore  
> \>its not about knowing what limb to touch  
> \>or where to kiss, lick or do whatever  
> \>that level of unity transcends virtually every "health" magazine bullshit you can read about sex and intimacy  
> \>time loses meaning  
> \>that night, i dont remember for how many hours  
> \>we were inseperable  
> \>we didnt say a word the entire time  
> \>no screaming, no loud noises  
> \>just heavy breathing  
> \>lots of heavy breathing  
> \>the only thing that i cared   
> \>her hands werent cold anymore  
> \>her touch was warm to me, for the first time  
> \>and the only memory i cherished more than anything else  
> \>was the feeling that as if we have known each other for all our lives  
> \>that night, ella wasnt a couple months old friend whom i cheated on my girlfriend or betrayed my best buddy for  
> \>she was the one person dearest to me, above everyone else  
> \>she was my missing piece  
> \>after a long long time has past, i remember finally whispering  
> \>"i love you"  
> \>and falling into the deepest, most relaxed sleep i have ever had  

> \>it was almost dawn when i woke up  
> \>ella woke up with me  
> \>"i have to tell you something..." - i told her  
> \>she looked at me, scared and upset  
> \>"i have to go to hong kong for 2 months... today... i wont be able to spend the rest of summer with you..."  
> \>whatever she was expecting, hearing this news relieved her  
> \>she sighed and planted a passionate kiss on my cheek  
> \>"its ok... we will see each other in school" - she whispered to me softly  
> \>"after all, i have you now..."  
> \>i couldnt have been happier  
> \>hong kong seemed like a punishment after everything that has happened  
> \>but i knew ella would wait for me  
> \>ella sent me away  
> \>convinced me that if we spent even more time  
> \>or if she would come to LAX to see me off, the distance and time would be even harder to bear  
> \>i agreed  
> \>as i was dragging my feet to leave her, i kissed her so much, she had to physically push me away  
> \>giggling with a sleepy face  
> \>"go now! go or you will miss your flight!"  
> \>i went home, hastily packed my bags and left for the airport  
> \>all i could think of was her  
> \>the cab driver had to ask me "where to?" like 3 times  

***

> \>after i landed and got settled in hong kong  
> \>we started talking on skype  
> \>it was new back then and the connection was shitty  
> \>but it was better than nothing  
> \>eveyday we would talk, sometimes for hours  
> \>there was so much time difference, i was almost an entire day ahead of LA  
> \>but we made it work  
> \>our intimacy was not limited to sex  
> \>and our friendship was more than just ambiguous flirting  
> \>the things we shared, the moments we lived  
> \>even tho they were digital and thousands of miles apart  
> \>i was still in heaven  

> \>a month later  
> \>i came home from work one day  
> \>and there was no response to my calls  
> \>figured, she must be busy, or out, or something else came up  
> \>didnt think of much and went on with the rest of my day  
> \>next day, same thing  
> \>well, unless you are a seriously paranoid person, you dont think of worst case scenarios  
> \>until your buddy calls you  
> \>...  
> \>didnt remember how i responded to that  
> \>i still dont, i only know what pete, mom and dad told me  
> \>turns out, i dropped the phone and was unreachable for an hour  
> \>dont know what happened in that hour  
> \>then they say that i called my folks  
> \>by then, pete told them already  
> \>and they knew i wasnt goint to be able to make my way back on my own  
> \>as i was speaking to (or screaming to) mom, dad was already buying plane tickets  
> \>i didnt realize my mom was crying on the phone  
> \>knowing her son was in so much pain and she was unable to help me  
> \>i was screaming so much, my voice was all but gone  
> \>at some point, my dad picked up the phone  
> \>trying to calm me down  
> \>years later, i asked him once, just once, what happened that day  
> \>never seen a man that white as he told me what happened  
> \>how terrified he was over how i was feeling  
> \>i asked him because the only thing i could remember was pete telling me  
> \>"she's gone... she's gone..."  

***

> \>i talked to pete one more time before dad arrived  
> \>that i do remember  
> \>you go numb after so much pain  
> \>and start behaving like a robot...  
> \>he knew i wasnt gonna be at the ceremony with him  
> \>we talked about things no one wants to know  
> \>but you just have to know  
> \>like what happens to a car travelling at 60mph  
> \>when it gets rearended by another car  
> \>starts spinning  
> \>and stops when it wraps around a telephone pole   
> \>there was nothing anyone would want to look at  
> \>no open casket  
> \>just a box  
> \>while her family was burying ella  
> \>i was on a plane back to states  
> \>didnt have the power to go back to LA  
> \>and be there with her family  
> \>didnt want to go back to college  
> \>and be all by myself  
> \>i just wanted to go home  

> \>a year has passed since ella's death  
> \>mom and dad were trying to play it cool  
> \>pete was the only one keeping me sane  
> \>he too was affected by ella's passing  
> \>but he was stronger  
> \>he didnt love ella the way i did  
> \>nicole was keeping her distance  
> \>avoiding me as best she could  
> \>on the anniversary of her death, i decided to visit ella's grave  
> \>got on a plane to LA  
> \>i still remember the first time i walked thru those cemetery gates  
> \>its never easy to visit the dead  
> \>i found her   
> \>and stayed there for an hour  
> \>just crying, not knowing what to say  
> \>im not a religious person  
> \>and i dont believe in afterlife  
> \>i had this feeling inside me that no matter what i said  
> \>she wasnt there to see  
> \>or hear  
> \>after a while, a boy walked up to me  
> \>her brother  
> \>young jake too came to visit her sister  
> \>we hugged  
> \>"you should come and visit my folks, anon. they will be happy to see you"  
> \>i accepted his kind invitation  
> \>when we arrived at their home  
> \>the air was thick, filled with sorrow  
> \>her mother smiled when she saw me  
> \>held me in her arms as if i was her own blood  
> \>"oh am i happy to see you" - she cried  
> \>they were relieved they didnt have to be alone that day  
> \>ella's father was already half drunk  
> \>but he was joyful when we started talking about ella  
> \>jake was sitting between his mom and dad  
> \>they wouldnt let go of his hands the entire time  
> \>drawing power from knowing that they are not alone  
> \>and that jake is still here   
> \>after talking about ella  
> \>reminiscing what little time i was able to spend with her  
> \>her mom showed me into ella's room  

> \>the room was left untouched  
> \>nothing was changed since ive been there more than a year ago  
> \>even her neatly folded clothes were still on her chair  
> \>her vidya archive  
> \>her anime posters on the walls  
> \>her mom opened a drawer   
> \>and took out a cd case and a letter  
> \>and handed them to me  
> \>"i believe these are for you, anon"  
> \>she put them into my violently shaking hands  
> \>she kissed me on my forehead and left the room  
> \>i sat on the bed  
> \>the bed in which we had the chance to spend a single night together  
> \>a single night...  
> \>i looked at the cd case  
> \>and immediately burst into the tears i was holding back before  
> \>crying my eyes out, i started reading her letter  
> \>the letter she couldnt send to hong kong  

pic related, letter and the cd case

> \>after i read the letter  
> \>i was in fetus position on her bed  
> \>crying  
> \>the love and the loss were too much  
> \>someone slowly sat next to me  
> \>and i felt a familiar hand on my face  
> \>i put my head on her lap  
> \>while nicole caressed my hair  
> \>and calmed me down  
> \>"im here..." - she whispered  
> \>and hugged me as she too quietly cried  

> \>next semester  
> \>nicole and i got closer  
> \>she stopped avoiding me  
> \>and we became friends again  
> \>she understood what i have been thru  
> \>and altho ive broken her heart  
> \>she knew i didnt mean to  
> \>she knew how much i loved ella  
> \>she knew the love ive felt for ella didnt mean i didnt value her  
> \>2 years later we started dating again  
> \>moved to chicago together  
> \>another 2 years after that, we got married  
> \>and i slowly forgot about ella  
> \>while organizing old stuff at our house  
> \>i came across ella's letter and the mi3 cd case  
> \>when i started feeling bad  
> \>she convinced me to write the story down  
> \>so i could get it off my chest  
> \>"i dont want to read it" - she said with a sad face  
> \>"it will be too much for me. but you have to write it down"  
> \>her love and care were heavenly  
> \>"you need this anon"  
> \>i accepted  

***

> \>last night after i finished writing my story  
> \>nicole convinced me to frame ella's letter  
> \>i looked at her, i was almost about to cry  
> \>she gently held my face in her hands  
> \>"its good to remember anon" - and she planted a tender kiss on my lips  
> \>"she was a good person. you loved her and she loved you"  
> \>i dont even know what to say  
> \>i framed the letter and put it on my nightstand  
> \>we got under the blankets on a cold winter night  
> \>we cuddled   
> \>she embraced me and placed her head on my chest  
> \>and softly whispered into my ear  
> \>"youre mine anon, and im yours..."  
> \>"and as i have said before..." - she was almost asleep  
> \>with an amorous smile on her face  
> \>"until such a time comes we both decide otherwise, nothing will change that"  
> \>and i fell asleep next to the woman i loved  
> \>embracing the woman that loves me  

and this is the end of my story...

## Sources
* Pastebin
 * (http://pastebin.com/7H7SJwNd)

* Screencaps
  * [ella](https://cloud.githubusercontent.com/assets/7390577/6205365/50393e9a-b520-11e4-8bdc-155a4615f5e7.jpg)
  * [ella 2](https://cloud.githubusercontent.com/assets/7390577/6205364/50269f4c-b520-11e4-87ba-a1dcd59d25a8.jpg)
* Thread Archives
  * [Quick and Dirty Read Backup Dump](https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B7WYx7u6HJh_SXJIazB2c2RYNEk/view?usp=sharing)
  * [4archive - /b/595592516](https://4archive.org/b/thread/595592516)
  * [fgts.jp - /b/595592516](https://fgts.jp/b/thread/595592516/) - IRC login required.