Vertex Access versus Class First-in-last-out Schedule

[osp.git] / c.txt

Never accept an invitation from a stranger unless he gives you candy.
                -- Linda Festa

The first requisite for immortality is death.
                -- Stanislaw Lem

We secure our friends not by accepting favors but by doing them.
                -- Thucydides

Q:      Know what the difference between your latest project
        and putting wings on an elephant is?
A:      Who knows?  The elephant *might* fly, heh, heh...

In case of fire, stand in the hall and shout "Fire!"
                -- The Kidner Report

Hope that the day after you die is a nice day.

Be sociable. Speak to the person next to you in the unemployment line tomorrow.

"If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry."
                -- Chekhov

One should always be in love.  That is the reason one should never marry.
                -- Oscar Wilde

...and report cards I was always afraid to show
Mama'd come to school
and as I'd sit there softly cryin'
Teacher'd say he's just not tryin'
Got a good head if he'd apply it
but you know yourself
it's always somewhere else
I'd build me a castle
with dragons and kings
and I'd ride off with them
As I stood by my window
and looked out on those
Brooklyn roads
                -- Neil Diamond, "Brooklyn Roads"

If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing
of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur
of this life.
                -- Albert Camus

A billion here, a billion there -- pretty soon it adds up to real money.
                -- Sen. Everett Dirksen, on the U.S. defense budget

Beware of computerized fortune-tellers!

About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt
ax.  It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
                -- Edsger Dijkstra

I have a map of the United States.  It's actual size.  I spent last summer
folding it.  People ask me where I live, and I say, "E6".
                -- Steven Wright

Ambition

Those who wish to change the world
According with their desire
Cannot succeed.
The world is shaped by the Way;
It cannot be shaped by the self.
Trying to change it, you damage it;
Trying to possess it, you lose it.
So some will lead, while others follow.
Some will be warm, others cold
Some will be strong, others weak.
Some will get where they are going
While others fall by the side of the road.
So the sage will be neither extravagant nor violent.
                -- Lao Tse, "Tao Te Ching"

Why isn't there some cheap and easy way to prove how much she means to me?

Fortune's Real-Life Courtroom Quote #32:

Q:  Do you know how far pregnant you are right now?
A:  I will be three months November 8th.
Q:  Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8th?
A:  Yes.
Q:  What were you and your husband doing at that time?

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions:

We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch"
may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine
species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used when applied to a female
of the human race. Coming as it did, reasonably close on the heels of two
revolver shots directed at the person of whom it was probably used, we think
it carries every reasonable implication of ill-will toward that person.
                -- Smith v. Moran, 193 N.E. 2d 466.

Well, my terminal's locked up, and I ain't got any Mail,
        And I can't recall the last time that my program didn't fail;
I've got stacks in my structs, I've got arrays in my queues,
        I've got the : Segmentation violation -- Core dumped blues.

If you think that it's nice that you get what you C,
        Then go : illogical statement with your whole family,
'Cause the Supreme Court ain't the only place with : Bus error views.
        I've got the : Segmentation violation -- Core dumped blues.

On a PDP-11, life should be a breeze,
        But with VAXen in the house even magnetic tapes would freeze.
Now you might think that unlike VAXen I'd know who I abuse,
        I've got the : Segmentation violation -- Core dumped blues.
                -- Core Dumped Blues

Rainy days and automatic weapons always get me down.

Printed on recycled paper.

BE ALOOF!  (There has been a recent population explosion of lerts.)

Consider well the proportions of things.  It is better to be a young June-bug
than an old bird of paradise.
                -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

No skis take rocks like rental skis!

Fishing, with me, has always been an excuse to drink in the daytime.
                -- Jimmy Cannon

Don't compare floating point numbers solely for equality.

Hummingbirds never remember the words to songs.

Neurotics build castles in the sky,
Psychotics live in them,
And psychiatrists collect the rent.

A man is known by the company he organizes.
                -- Ambrose Bierce

Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

You must be present to win.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him
keep her.
                -- Sacha Guitry

First Law of Bicycling:
        No matter which way you ride, it's uphill and against the wind.

On a morning from a Bogart movie, in a country where they turned back time,
You go strolling through the crowd like Peter Lorre contemplating a crime.
She comes out of the sun in a silk dress running like a watercolor in the rain.
Don't bother asking for explanations, she'll just tell you that she came
In the Year of the Cat.

She doesn't give you time for questions, as she locks up your arm in hers,
And you follow 'till your sense of which direction completely disappears.
By the blue-tiled walls near the market stall there's a hidden door she
    leads you to.
These days, she say, I feel my life just like a river running through
The Year of the Cat.

Well, she looks at you so coolly,
And her eyes shine like the moon in the sea.
She comes in incense and patchouli,
So you take her to find what's waiting inside
The Year of the Cat.

Well, morning comes and you're still with her, but the bus and the tourists
    are gone,
And you've thrown away your choice and lost your ticket, so you have to stay on.
But the drum-beat strains of the night remain in the rhythm of the new-born day.
You know some time you're bound to leave her, but for now you're going to stay
In the Year of the Cat.
                -- Al Stewart, "Year of the Cat"

There is a great discovery still to be made in Literature: that of
paying literary men by the quantity they do NOT write.

Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires
tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth.
                -- Nero Wolfe

The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians
who believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool
all of the people all of the time.
                -- Franklin Adams

Colors may fade in time.

The animals are not as stupid as one thinks -- they have neither
doctors nor lawyers.
                -- L. Docquier

Hate is like acid.  It can damage the vessel in which it is stored as well
as destroy the object on which it is poured.

Theory is gray, but the golden tree of life is green.
                -- Goethe

Give me chastity and continence, but not just now.
                -- St. Augustine

Shedenhelm's Law:
        All trails have more uphill sections than they have downhill sections.

Well, I'm a classic ANAL RETENTIVE!!  And I'm looking for a way to
VICARIOUSLY experience some reason to LIVE!!

The way to a man's heart is through the left ventricle.

You will gain money by a speculation or lottery.

Don't I know you?

Once is happenstance,
Twice is coincidence,
Three times is enemy action.
                -- Auric Goldfinger

"We all know Linux is great...it does infinite loops in 5 seconds."
(Linus Torvalds about the superiority of Linux on the Amsterdam
Linux Symposium)

I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
                -- Groucho Marx

Question: Is it better to abide by the rules until they're changed or
help speed the change by breaking them?

A bureaucrat's idea of cleaning up his files is to make a copy of everything
before he destroys it.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
                -- Salvor Hardin

The seven year itch comes from fooling around during the fourth, fifth,
and sixth years.

Creativity is not always bred in an environment of tranquility;
sometimes you have to squeeze a little to get the paste out of the tube.

Don't get even -- get odd!

Anger kills as surely as the other vices.

Everyone wants results, but no one is willing to do what it takes to get them.
                -- Dirty Harry

When the weight of the paperwork equals the weight of the plane, the
plane will fly.
                -- Donald Douglas

At many levels, Perl is a "diagonal" language.
                -- Larry Wall in <199709021854.LAA12794@wall.org>

Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.

Historic Underdosing:
        To live in a period of time when nothing seems to happen.
Major symptoms include addiction to newspapers, magazines, and TV news
broadcasts.
                -- Douglas Coupland, "Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated
                   Culture"

Mr. DePree believes participative capitalism is the wave of the future.  The
U.S. work force, he believes, "more and more demands to be included in the
capitalist system and if we don't find ways to get the capitalist system
to be an inclusive system rather than the exclusive system it has been, we're
all in deep trouble.  If we don't find ways to begin to understand that
capitalism's highest potential lies in the common good, not in the individual
good, then we're risking the system itself."
-- Max DePree, chairman and CEO of Herman Miller Inc., "Herman Miller's
   Secrets of Corporate Creativity", The Wall Street Journal, May 3, 1988

Unix:  Some say the learning curve is steep, but you only have to climb it once.
                -- Karl Lehenbauer

Care at the Beginning

What lies still is easy to grasp;
What lies far off is easy to anticipate;
What is brittle is easy to shatter;
What is small is easy to disperse.
Yet a tree broader than a man can embrace is born of a tiny shoot;
A dam greater than a river can overflow starts with a clod of
earth;
A journey of a thousand miles begins at the spot under one's feet.
Therefore deal with things before they happen;
Create order before there is confusion.
                -- Lao Tse, "Tao Te Ching"

"Our attitude with TCP/IP is, `Hey, we'll do it, but don't make a big
system, because we can't fix it if it breaks -- nobody can.'"

"TCP/IP is OK if you've got a little informal club, and it doesn't make
any difference if it takes a while to fix it."
                -- Ken Olson, in Digital News, 1988

[The French Riviera is] a sunny place for shady people.
                -- Somerset Maugham

The smiling Spring comes in rejoicing,
And surly Winter grimly flies.
Now crystal clear are the falling waters,
And bonnie blue are the sunny skies.
Fresh o'er the mountains breaks forth the morning,
The ev'ning gilds the oceans's swell:
All creatures joy in the sun's returning,
And I rejoice in my bonnie Bell.

The flowery Spring leads sunny Summer,
The yellow Autumn presses near;
Then in his turn come gloomy Winter,
Till smiling Spring again appear.
Thus seasons dancing, life advancing,
Old Time and Nature their changes tell;
But never ranging, still unchanging,
I adore my bonnie Bell.
                -- Robert Burns, "My Bonnie Bell"

The best laid plans of mice and men are held up in the legal department.

New Year's Eve is the time of year when a man most feels his age,
and his wife most often reminds him to act it.
                -- Webster's Unafraid Dictionary

The ratio of literacy to illiteracy is a constant, but nowadays the
illiterates can read.
                -- Alberto Moravia

By long-standing tradition, I take this opportunity to savage other
designers in the thin disguise of good, clean fun.
                -- P. J. Plauger, "Computer Language", 1988, April
                   Fool's column.

You don't move to Edina, you achieve Edina.
                -- Guindon

Do not use the blue keys on this terminal.