Vertex Access versus Class First-in-last-out Schedule

[osp.git] / b.txt

                        Has your family tried 'em?

                           POWDERMILK BISCUITS

                 Heavens, they're tasty and expeditious!

            They're made from whole wheat, to give shy persons
           the strength to get up and do what needs to be done.

                           POWDERMILK BISCUITS

        Buy them ready-made in the big blue box with the picture of
        the biscuit on the front, or in the brown bag with the dark
                     stains that indicate freshness.

This TOPS OFF my partygoing experience!  Someone I DON'T LIKE is
talking to me about a HEART-WARMING European film ...

ANN JILLIAN'S HAIR makes LONI ANDERSON'S HAIR look like RICARDO
MONTALBAN'S HAIR!

It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a
statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious
to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look,
which morally we can do.  To affect the quality of the day, that is the
highest of arts. Every man is tasked to make his life, even in its details,
worthy of the contemplation of his most elevated and critical hour.
                -- Henry David Thoreau, "Where I Live"

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
                -- Roger Price

Kiss me twice.  I'm schizophrenic.

Riches:  A gift from Heaven signifying, "This is my beloved son, in whom I
am well pleased."
                -- John D. Rockefeller, (slander by Ambrose Bierce)

Well, enough clowning around.  Perl is, in intent, a cleaned up and
summarized version of that wonderful semi-natural language known as
"Unix".
                -- Larry Wall in <1994Apr6.184419.3687@netlabs.com>

To order, call toll-free.

leverage, n.:
        Even if someone doesn't care what the world thinks
        about them, they always hope their mother doesn't find out.

I would rather be a serf in a poor man's house and be above ground than
reign among the dead.
                -- Achilles, "The Odessey", XI, 489-91

The husband who doesn't tell his wife everything probably reasons that
what she doesn't know won't hurt him.
                -- Leo J. Burke

You seek to shield those you love and you like the role of the provider.

Obviously your filters are throwing away mail from Randal.  :-)
                -- Larry Wall in <199710221937.MAA25131@wall.org>

Everything bows to success, even grammar.

Air is water with holes in it.

Plots are like girdles.  Hidden, they hold your interest; revealed, they're
of no interest except to fetishists. Like girdles, they attempt to contain
an uncontainable experience.
                -- R. S. Knapp

A wise man can see more from a mountain top than a fool can from the bottom
of a well.

We all declare for liberty, but in using the same word we do not all mean
the same thing.
                -- A. Lincoln

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
                -- Lily Tomlin

Egotist:  A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
                -- Ambrose Bierce

===  ALL CSH USERS PLEASE NOTE  ========================

Set the variable $LOSERS to all the people that you think are losers.  This
will cause all said losers to have the variable $PEOPLE-WHO-THINK-I-AM-A-LOSER
updated in their .login file.  Should you attempt to execute a job on a
machine with poor response time and a machine on your local net is currently
populated by losers, that machine will be freed up for your job through a
cold boot process.

Support your right to bare arms!
                -- A message from the National Short-Sleeved Shirt Association

        Carol's head ached as she trailed behind the unsmiling Calibrees
along the block of booths.  She chirruped at Kennicott, "Let's be wild!
Let's ride on the merry-go-round and grab a gold ring!"
        Kennicott considered it, and mumbled to Calibree, "Think you folks
would like to stop and try a ride on the merry-go-round?"
        Calibree considered it, and mumbled to his wife, "Think you'd like
to stop and try a ride on the merry-go-round?"
        Mrs. Calibree smiled in a washed-out manner, and sighed, "Oh no,
I don't believe I care to much, but you folks go ahead and try it."
        Calibree stated to Kennicott, "No, I don't believe we care to a
whole lot, but you folks go ahead and try it."
        Kennicott summarized the whole case against wildness: "Let's try
it some other time, Carrie."
        She gave it up.
                -- Sinclair Lewis, "Main Street"

Worth seeing?  Yes, but not worth going to see.

Real Programmers don't write in PL/I.  PL/I is for programmers who can't
decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN.

design, v.:
        What you regret not doing later on.

"The fundamental purpose animating the Faith of God and His Religion is to
safeguard the interests and promote the unity of the human race, and to foster
the spirit of love and fellowship amongst men. Suffer it not to become a source
of dissension and discord, of hate and enmity."

"Religion is verily the chief instrument for the establishment of order in the
 world and of tranquillity amongst it's peoples...The greater the decline of
 religion, the more grievous the waywardness of the ungodly. This cannot but
 lead in the end to chaos and confusion."
                -- Baha'u'llah, a selection from the Baha'i scripture

You work very hard.  Don't try to think as well.

And so it was, later,
As the miller told his tale,
That her face, at first just ghostly,
Turned a whiter shade of pale.
                -- Procol Harum

The father, passing through his son's college town late one evening on a
business trip, thought he would pay his boy a suprise visit.  Arriving at the
lad's fraternity house, dad rapped loudly on the door.  After several minutes
of knocking, a sleepy voice drifted down from a second-floor window,
        "Whaddaya want?"
        "Does Ramsey Duncan live here?" asked the father.
        "Yeah," replied the voice.  "Dump him on the front porch."

<evilkalla> heh, I never took a coding class
<evilkalla> or a graphics class
<evilkalla> or a software design class
<vegan> and it shows :P

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.

Most people are too busy to have time for anything important.

The faster we go, the rounder we get.
                -- The Grateful Dead

I wouldn't marry her with a ten foot pole.

Be consistent.
                -- Larry Wall in the perl man page

We have the flu.  I don't know if this particular strain has an official
name, but if it does, it must be something like "Martian Death Flu".  You
may have had it yourself.  The main symptom is that you wish you had another
setting on your electric blanket, up past "HIGH", that said "ELECTROCUTION".
        Another symptom is that you cease brushing your teeth, because (a)
your teeth hurt, and (b) you lack the strength.  Midway through the brushing
process, you'd have to lie down in front of the sink to rest for a couple
of hours, and rivulets of toothpaste foam would dribble sideways out of your
mouth, eventually hardening into crusty little toothpaste stalagmites that
would bond your head permanently to the bathroom floor, which is how the
police would find you.
        You know the kind of flu I'm talking about.
                -- Dave Barry, "Molecular Homicide"

        "Well," said Programmer, "the customary procedure in such cases is
as follows."
        "What does Crustimoney Proseedcake mean?" said End-user.  "For I am
an End-user of Very Little Brain, and long words bother me."
        "It means the Thing to Do."
        "As long as it means that, I don't mind," said End-user humbly.

        [with apologies to A. A. Milne]

Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.
                -- Herbert Hoover

Troll sat alone on his seat of stone,
And munched and mumbled a bare old bone;
For many a year he had gnawed it near,
For meat was hard to come by.
        Done by!  Gum by!
In a cave in the hills he dwelt alone,
And meat was hard to come by.

Up came Tom with his big boots on.
Said he to Troll: "Pray, what is youn?
For it looks like the shin o' my nuncle Tim,
As should be a-lyin in graveyard.
        Caveyard!  Paveyard!
This many a year has Tim been gone,
And I thought he were lyin' in graveyard."

"My lad," said Troll, "this bone I stole.
But what be bones that lie in a hole?
Thy nuncle was dead as a lump o' lead,
Afore I found his shinbone.
        Tinbone!  Thinbone!
He can spare a share for a poor old troll
For he don't need his shinbone."

Said Tom: "I don't see why the likes o' thee
Without axin' leave should go makin' free
With the shank or the shin o' my father's kin;
So hand the old bone over!
        Rover!  Trover!
Though dead he be, it belongs to he;
So hand the old bnone over!"
                -- J. R. R. Tolkien

A Los Angeles judge ruled that "a citizen may snore with immunity in
his own home, even though he may be in possession of unusual and
exceptional ability in that particular field."

P.S. Perl's master plan (or what passes for one) is to take over the
world like English did.  Er, *as* English did...
                -- Larry Wall in <199705201832.LAA28393@wall.org>

===  ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE  ========================

Bug reports now amount to an average of 12,853 per day.  Unfortunately,
this is only a small fraction [ < 1% ] of the mail volume we receive.  In
order that we may more expeditiously deal with these valuable messages,
please communicate them by one of the following paths:

        ARPA:  WastebasketSLMHQ.ARPA
        UUCP:  [berkeley, seismo, harpo]!fubar!thekid!slmhq!wastebasket
        Non-network sites:  Federal Express to:
                Wastebasket
                Room NE43-926
                Copernicus, The Moon, 12345-6789
        For that personal contact feeling call 1-415-642-4948; our trained
        operators are on call 24 hours a day.  VISA/MC accepted.*

* Our very rich lawyers have assured us that we are not
  responsible for any errors or advice given over the phone.

Disillusioned words like bullets bark,
As human gods aim for their mark,
Make everything from toy guns that spark
To flesh-colored christs that glow in the dark.
It's easy to see without looking too far
That not much is really sacred.
                -- Bob Dylan

"The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody
appreciates how difficult it was."
                -- Walt West

The surest protection against temptation is cowardice.
                -- Mark Twain

Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.

There is very little future in being right when your boss is wrong.

I know th'MAMBO!!  I have a TWO-TONE CHEMISTRY SET!!

Illusion is the first of all pleasures.
                -- Voltaire

It is only the great men who are truly obscene.  If they had not dared
to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great.
                -- Havelock Ellis

  Our comedies are not to be laughed at. -Samuel Goldwyn

There is nothing which cannot be answered by means of my doctrine," said
a monk, coming into a teahouse where Nasrudin sat.
        "And yet just a short time ago, I was challenged by a scholar with
an unanswerable question," said Nasrudin.
        "I could have answered it if I had been there."
        "Very well.  He asked, 'Why are you breaking into my house in
the middle of the night?'"

I got the bill for my surgery.  Now I know what those doctors were
wearing masks for.
                -- James Boren

In the long run, every program becomes rococco, and then rubble.
                -- Alan Perlis

People that can't find something to live for always seem to find something to
die for.  The problem is, they usually want the rest of us to die for it too.

The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better
people, and don't come in clearly enough.
                -- Bill Maher

job Placement, n.:
        Telling your boss what he can do with your job.

Serocki's Stricture:
        Marriage is always a bachelor's last option.

It's not the men in my life, but the life in my men that counts.
                -- Mae West

"A wizard cannot do everything; a fact most magicians are reticent to admit,
let alone discuss with prospective clients.  Still, the fact remains that
there are certain objects, and people, that are, for one reason or another,
completely immune to any direct magical spell.  It is for this group of
beings that the magician learns the subtleties of using indirect spells.
It also does no harm, in dealing with these matters, to carry a large club
near your person at all times."
                -- The Teachings of Ebenezum, Volume VIII

Part of language design is purturbing the proposed feature in various
directions to see how it might generalize in the future.
                -- Larry Wall in <199709032332.QAA21669@wall.org>

It seems a little silly now, but this country was founded as a protest
against taxation.

A newspaper is a circulating library with high blood pressure.
                -- Arthure "Bugs" Baer