others/dan_bern_like_most_american_men.htm

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  12 <title>Dan Bern: Like most american men</title>
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  20 <pre>Like most American men I'm a little messed up about sex
  21 Does size really matter? Should I be-e checking out other guys?
  22 But if I do, does it mean I'm gay? LIke when I went to Italy
  23 And I went to see the statue of David, maybe I stared at it too long?
  24 And what about the size of breasts, does size matter there?
  25 Do I really like a lot of silicone over and above a little milk?
  26 And while I'm on the subject of sex: what do I think about viagra?
  27 Even though I seem to function really well there, is that something that I ought to try?
  28 If everybody else is gonna take it, is it something that I oughta take?
  29 In order just to stay competitive, like when everybody switched
  30 To a tennis racket with a really big head, and suddenly the great Bjorn Borg
  31 wasn't only beatable, but wasn't much better
  32 than most American men;
  33 Than most American men</pre>
  34
  35 <pre>
  36 Like most American men I think about sports a lot
  37 So one time I can get close to a lot of really good friends of mine
  38 We talk and yell and slap hands, saying stuff like: &quot;Sammy, you da man, I love you!&quot;
  39 And we pour over scores and statistics, like medieval biblical scholars
  40 And I can go into a bar, start and watching some kind of game
  41 And I can start talking to a black guy, or a mexican or a japanese
  42 And we're laughing and slapping and crying, all cause of Michael Jordan
  43 Cause I wish I could fly
  44 like most American men
  45 Like most American men</pre>
  46
  47 <pre>Like most American men, I don't know what to do about Japan
  48 What do with somalia, or where Somalia is
  49 or for that matter where is Rhode Island, my morals are mostly determined
  50 by whoever I'm sleeping with
  51 Like most American men
  52 Like most American men</pre>
  53
  54 <pre>Like most American men I don't know how much money is enough
  55 Some times I think I got enough, other times I think enough
  56 is a little bit more than I got, and if I had a little more dough
  57 Maybe I'd care more about the world, cause I'd have a bigger stake in the game
  58 Maybe I'd think about politics if I really had something to protect
  59 I tell you man, if I had a little more dough, I'd do really good with the ladies
  60 I'd take them and treat them real nice, and I'd look really good when I do
  61 and you know we'd travel in style and I'd take them to my really fine pad
  62 with a fridge and a really big bed, and we'd lie there and smoking cigarrettes
  63 eating candy and watching Jerry Springer, and that's not so much to want
  64 Like most American men
  65 Like most American men</pre>
  66
  67 <pre>Like most American men I'd change my whole life if I could
  68 I'd live in a really big house, and I'd travel with a really fast crowd
  69 Hang around with really big women, play tennis with Drew Barrymore
  70 And if I could change everything, who knows what would happen then
  71 Maybe after a couple of months my whole life would start to look
  72 a whole lot like it does now, kinda boring, kinda funny,
  73 Like most American men
  74 LIke most American boys</pre>
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